Some asshole with a bike / Written & voiceover

[justicereigns]

This is Kuzan. Better known as Aokiji to pirates in our world, because like most logia users, he has a signature fighting style that is based on his attacks.

Don't let the almost awesome afro hair fool you, however, he's as torpid as they come.

You see this fearsome would-be marine has a ten-speed bike he rides around over the ocean like the worst kind of MC loser there ever was. That's right. A ten speed bike. What the hell does it use ten speeds for? The only one he ever uses is a slow cruise that is like watching ice cubes thaw! It's not even a motorcycle! That's how useless it is.

He's got the gloves and boots like a real rider, but on a bicycle, he might as well just have the gear to deal with the cold.

So uncool.

He does make a mean ice cream though. So you know, if you're anywhere near the Friend Ship or Justice Penguin, get some. Unless you're a pirate. Then you're even more of a loser than him.

[Yup. That's it. This is a public service message brought to you by: Smoker, the worst friend ever. Carry on.]

Comments

[voice]

[thetruehistorian]

Are you drunk?

[voice]

[justicereigns]

No.

At least, I don't think so.

I usually get more violent when drunk.

[voice]

[thetruehistorian]

You're just, surprisingly chatty, all things considered.

[voice]

[justicereigns]

[Great Robin. Have some silence.]

[Has it been long enough?]

[HOW ABOUT NOW?]

I talk less when I've been drinking, and I haven't had good drink in over a month.

Besides, you don't see any pirates on my ship do you? [Meaning: He's less uncomfortable as all get out and half ready to jump out of his skin.]

I've only had Kuzan to listen to with Maribelle visiting Henry, and that gets repetitive fast. Oh. And Coby. [He gets repetitive too.]

voice

[allendsmeat]

[he didn't pay attention to any of that really]

That's a really cool superhero, Smoker. Your drawing is pretty bad, though.

voice

[justicereigns]

It's not a superhero, it's Kuzan.

voice

[allendsmeat]

Oh your friend. [but he doesn't really remember the name. He cracks his toes and coughs a bit, wincing as one of the wounds reopens and then lying back]

Does he fly?

[and then because he really doesn't care about the answer over the more important statement]


It's been a while...

voice

[justicereigns]

He doesn't.

What did you do to yourself?

[Because he heard that you moron.]

[voice]

[youshouldberunning]

Didn’t realize you were an artist, Smoker.

[voice]

[justicereigns]

Yeah. [HEAVILY SARCASTIC.] I'm the best at paint by numbers you will ever find.

[voice]

[youshouldberunning]

[Blandly] Amazing. We should get you to make some prints and sell them for extra funds. Kazan can make ice cream.

How do you ride a bike on the ocean anyhow? [Smoker is concerned about ten speeds, Liz is boggled by a bike on the ocean. Seriously, kid, think that one through. He makes ice. But even then, it doesn’t seem logical...]

[voice]

[justicereigns]

He coats the ocean with ice first.

That was before sea quakes, however.

[lazyjustice]

Not impressed.

[he's seen better caricatures and more vile things said about his biking habits than Smoker is capable of. So he'll just sit here, reading a newspaper he picked off of some island or the other, and continue being generally annoyed at life.]

Something on your mind? No? That's fine, too. [turns the page]

[justicereigns]

You're boring me.

[lazyjustice]

Maa well that sounds like a personal problem. [he's not entirely happy himself--though until he has a direction, he's not comfortable in leaving]

Go hunt some pirates.

[justicereigns]

That's illegal.

[NOT THAT HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH BREAKING LAWS. Or Law's Face. With his elbow.]

[HOWEVER...]

[He's just saying, vigilante-ism without the turning over of pirates to the government and/or proper authorities is illegal.]

voice;

[bolincredible]

Oh! I think I met that guy when I first got to Empieza! Really, really tall, not much of a talker? Kinda... you know, a little bit vague? Not in a bad way, I guess. If it works for you, it works for you, am I right? [ 85% of him remembering Kuzan goes up to the tallness factor, but remember Bolin does. ]

voice;

[justicereigns]

Yeah, that's him.

He's vague a lot, but I wouldn't say he's quiet. [Except that he's SO quiet it's making even Smoker more talkative, so that is bullshit. Kuzan is super quiet.]

voice;

[bolincredible]

No? Huh. Maybe I just met him on an off day. We were pretty busy trying to find a cafe he could use to stay out of the rain.

Audio;

[chore_boy]

As I've decided to delve into more intense training, you're welcome to accompany me.

Audio;

[justicereigns]

[SUCH A LINEFACE AT THIS PROCLAMATION.]

First I want to know what the hell that means coming from you.

Audio;

[chore_boy]

Sir, I don't understand what explanation I could provide that wouldn't be inferred by what I've already suggested.

Do you mean to ask for specific exercises?

[He's asking you to die with him, Smoker.]

[Text]

[onewassilver]

[ ....What was this? Rayleigh doesn't even... ]

My, wasn't that just... something.

[Text]

[justicereigns]

I had too much time on my hands and markers that needed using.

[Text]

[onewassilver]

I wasn't aware the marines were taking children now.