piratejournal | Some asshole with a bike / Written & voiceover

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Some asshole with a bike / Written & voiceover

This is Kuzan. Better known as Aokiji to pirates in our world, because like most logia users, he has a signature fighting style that is based on his attacks.

Don't let the almost awesome afro hair fool you, however, he's as torpid as they come.

You see this fearsome would-be marine has a ten-speed bike he rides around over the ocean like the worst kind of MC loser there ever was. That's right. A ten speed bike. What the hell does it use ten speeds for? The only one he ever uses is a slow cruise that is like watching ice cubes thaw! It's not even a motorcycle! That's how useless it is.

He's got the gloves and boots like a real rider, but on a bicycle, he might as well just have the gear to deal with the cold.

So uncool.

He does make a mean ice cream though. So you know, if you're anywhere near the Friend Ship or Justice Penguin, get some. Unless you're a pirate. Then you're even more of a loser than him.

[Yup. That's it. This is a public service message brought to you by: Smoker, the worst friend ever. Carry on.]

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He doesn't.

What did you do to yourself?

[Because he heard that you moron.]

Fought some pants guy. [it's no big deal. They were sent flying and it's over for now]

What are you doing? Is your friend going somewhere?

Pants guy?

No, he's just being a boring dumbass.

Yeah.

[a beat]

I wanna come see you before the race. Especially if we're gonna fight. [the fighting will be fun but there's something else that's gotta happen]

We're gonna fight?

[While that is technically a question, it sounds more like "Bring it."]

Yeah eventually. [scratches a bandaged stomach] Not what I wanna see you for, though.

[........................]

[Straw Hat you make everything awkward.]

[And Smoker hates himself for being red in the face over this.]

[Not because he's nervous, or even all that apprehensive, but because it's embarrassing as shit, all right?]

Yeah? What for then?

[silence for a long moment as he thinks about that]

Dunno yet.

[he just wants to. Instinctively]

What do you wanna do?

Edited 2014-06-24 01:21 (UTC)

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[1) You can't ask him that, you're a pirate for crying out loud.]

[2) This makes it seem like they're dating and Smoker is very not okay with that on a cognizant level, thank you very much.]

[3) He doesn't know what he wants to do, that's why he made this stupid ass post, that is how god damn bored he is.]

[4) He will not in any way admit that he wants to see Straw Hat for no specific reason, particularly when "arrest you" is out of the option.]

I need a drink.

[It's a statement of fact, not an invitation. Though it could be... no it couldn't.]

shishishishi Smoker's pretty worried about this huh?

Don't worry. [he takes his hat from where it's sitting beside him on the bed and puts it over his eyes, though he's still smiling]

I'm the man whose going to be King of the Pirates so... I'll take what I want.

[Oh his god, he cannot even remember suddenly feeling this mildly weirdly scared.]

[What the hell.]

[No really, what the hell.]

What does that even MEAN?!

In this context...?

Dunno. But when I figure it out I'll go right for it without hesitation.

You're worrying me.

I'm a pirate. [that was just how things went]

Not just any pirate.

I've arrested all the others before they could start worrying me.

hahahaha thanks! [he rubs a finger under his nose. What an awesome thing to say! Smokey is such a great guy and Luffy definitely wants to see him now]

You should worry a lot, then. [cuz he's not gonna hold back]

[No. Shut up. He hates you!]

[He will kick you away, like Boa Hancock kicks puppies. Or Smokers.]

It's not a damn compliment!

[just laughs more and then "ow"s because it still hurts] But you're a really good Marine. [so it's a great compliment]

Unless you just like me. shishishishi [but he's teasing him now]

Oh my god, are you stupid or did Portgas, and your crazy Grandfather punch you too many times in the noggin?

How was your father there to protect you from me, and not against them? That's family bias you know!

I dunno. I guess he was busy. I really don't know anything about him.

[he couldn't even remember what he looked like back then but that was alright]

It wasn't meant to be literal.

[... Although that sounds kind of sad actually.]

Wait, so you never knew Dragon growing up?

I didn't even know I had a dad. But I guess a lot of people do. Mothers, too, isn't that weird? [he thinks it is a little]

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