Some asshole with a bike / Written & voiceover

[justicereigns]

This is Kuzan. Better known as Aokiji to pirates in our world, because like most logia users, he has a signature fighting style that is based on his attacks.

Don't let the almost awesome afro hair fool you, however, he's as torpid as they come.

You see this fearsome would-be marine has a ten-speed bike he rides around over the ocean like the worst kind of MC loser there ever was. That's right. A ten speed bike. What the hell does it use ten speeds for? The only one he ever uses is a slow cruise that is like watching ice cubes thaw! It's not even a motorcycle! That's how useless it is.

He's got the gloves and boots like a real rider, but on a bicycle, he might as well just have the gear to deal with the cold.

So uncool.

He does make a mean ice cream though. So you know, if you're anywhere near the Friend Ship or Justice Penguin, get some. Unless you're a pirate. Then you're even more of a loser than him.

[Yup. That's it. This is a public service message brought to you by: Smoker, the worst friend ever. Carry on.]

Comments

Locked

[justicereigns]

[He also separates the conversations. This one is locked, because it's one thing to pretend to be keeping an eye on pirates, and quite another to openly display friendship. Hina already called him on acting too softly with Straw Hat, and that was a warning sign. If she saw it enough to call him on it, someone more dangerous might suspect it if he didn't guard against it.]

And tell me about your adventure. How did you get hurt?

Not that I care, but I can't let you get hurt unless I'm the one kicking your ass. It'll lower my reputation. [OBVIOUSLY.]

[allendsmeat]

[not let him get hurt, huh?] haha you're such a weird guy. [though said fondly]

Mmm well the Pants captain guy could make...um... what's the word for when you see stuff like water in the desert or when you eat a weird mushroom?

[justicereigns]

Mirage? Hallucination? Illusion?

[allendsmeat]

Yeah those. Anyway he could do that stuff and I was trying to find the right one and did and got his spear but it extended.

But it missed my stomach. [which was good. It would have been bad if he couldn't eat]

[justicereigns]

I see. So it cracked your ribs instead?

[allendsmeat]

Yeah it went straight through. [but then he was close enough to punch his face in so that was alright]

I just need a lot of meat and then I'll be okay.

[justicereigns]

I don't think that's how it works.

[allendsmeat]

It definitely is. Meat gives me strength! [don]

[justicereigns]

So if I want to lay a trap for you, just compile a lot of meat?

[allendsmeat]

Yes! The more the better!

[justicereigns]

Any particular kind?

[allendsmeat]

Any kind. shishishi Why does Smoker wanna trap me?

[justicereigns]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

Would you fall for it even now that you know?