piratejournal | Some asshole with a bike / Written & voiceover

This is Kuzan. Better known as Aokiji to pirates in our world, because like most logia users, he has a signature fighting style that is based on his attacks.

Don't let the almost awesome afro hair fool you, however, he's as torpid as they come.

You see this fearsome would-be marine has a ten-speed bike he rides around over the ocean like the worst kind of MC loser there ever was. That's right. A ten speed bike. What the hell does it use ten speeds for? The only one he ever uses is a slow cruise that is like watching ice cubes thaw! It's not even a motorcycle! That's how useless it is.

He's got the gloves and boots like a real rider, but on a bicycle, he might as well just have the gear to deal with the cold.

So uncool.

He does make a mean ice cream though. So you know, if you're anywhere near the Friend Ship or Justice Penguin, get some. Unless you're a pirate. Then you're even more of a loser than him.

[Yup. That's it. This is a public service message brought to you by: Smoker, the worst friend ever. Carry on.]

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Then I'll do my best to help, all right?

When you don't have as much to lose, it's ironically a lot easier.

Thank you. I'm grateful to even this conversation. [it's at least set her mind to thoughts and considerations.]

It might not be as much to lose here, but I don't want to put any of you in danger. That's something enough to make me want to figure it out as well. Any time you're up to it, i'll take the help.

I've fought Portgas personally. Even if you exploded, it might just teach me how to fight his devil fruit better.

In any case we can spar, if you'd like, and I'll show you my cloud animals so you can start thinking of ways to make your fire fun, or at least something you won't hate, all right?

Portgas. That's the Ace fellow. Captain of the Spades here? [getting her pirates in order in her head] I've heard he's a fire...not, user? Just, he's fire? [That's still weird to her. And cool] If it helps you out as well though, I might feel all the better about it.

All right. I'd like that. [There is the faintest of a laugh here...] Cloud Animals. Child like drawings. Teasing Kuzan. You surprise me, Smoker.

Yeah that's him. He's made of fire, the same way I'm made of smoke. And we can both generate more or control what's around us of it.

I also make a mean omelette, and someday I hope to set the world record for eating the most ice cream in one go.

A man's gotta have his hobbies.

Sounds like me, to an extent, only I’m not made of my element. Shoot me and I bleed. [she snorted at that, a head shake given even if he can’t see.]

[But then there was a honest to god laugh from her. Her hand came up to hide it, to cover up the laugh a moment, but she was finding she was laughing more around here. God, these big burly men were such dorks. It was.... nice. They were like Hellboy.]

At least with Kuzan here you can practice that goal. Even if you think his bike is uncool.

Very uncool.

Even a unicycle is cooler, and those are weird as hell.

But you're a lot more level-headed than Portgas.

Some asshole with a bike / Written & voiceover

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