Some asshole with a bike / Written & voiceover

[justicereigns]

This is Kuzan. Better known as Aokiji to pirates in our world, because like most logia users, he has a signature fighting style that is based on his attacks.

Don't let the almost awesome afro hair fool you, however, he's as torpid as they come.

You see this fearsome would-be marine has a ten-speed bike he rides around over the ocean like the worst kind of MC loser there ever was. That's right. A ten speed bike. What the hell does it use ten speeds for? The only one he ever uses is a slow cruise that is like watching ice cubes thaw! It's not even a motorcycle! That's how useless it is.

He's got the gloves and boots like a real rider, but on a bicycle, he might as well just have the gear to deal with the cold.

So uncool.

He does make a mean ice cream though. So you know, if you're anywhere near the Friend Ship or Justice Penguin, get some. Unless you're a pirate. Then you're even more of a loser than him.

[Yup. That's it. This is a public service message brought to you by: Smoker, the worst friend ever. Carry on.]

Comments

[voice]

[youshouldberunning]

Sounds like me, to an extent, only I’m not made of my element. Shoot me and I bleed. [she snorted at that, a head shake given even if he can’t see.]

[But then there was a honest to god laugh from her. Her hand came up to hide it, to cover up the laugh a moment, but she was finding she was laughing more around here. God, these big burly men were such dorks. It was.... nice. They were like Hellboy.]

At least with Kuzan here you can practice that goal. Even if you think his bike is uncool.

[voice]

[justicereigns]

Very uncool.

Even a unicycle is cooler, and those are weird as hell.

But you're a lot more level-headed than Portgas.