Some asshole with a bike / Written & voiceover

[justicereigns]

This is Kuzan. Better known as Aokiji to pirates in our world, because like most logia users, he has a signature fighting style that is based on his attacks.

Don't let the almost awesome afro hair fool you, however, he's as torpid as they come.

You see this fearsome would-be marine has a ten-speed bike he rides around over the ocean like the worst kind of MC loser there ever was. That's right. A ten speed bike. What the hell does it use ten speeds for? The only one he ever uses is a slow cruise that is like watching ice cubes thaw! It's not even a motorcycle! That's how useless it is.

He's got the gloves and boots like a real rider, but on a bicycle, he might as well just have the gear to deal with the cold.

So uncool.

He does make a mean ice cream though. So you know, if you're anywhere near the Friend Ship or Justice Penguin, get some. Unless you're a pirate. Then you're even more of a loser than him.

[Yup. That's it. This is a public service message brought to you by: Smoker, the worst friend ever. Carry on.]

Comments

[lazyjustice]

Will you tell me regardless?

[justicereigns]

No. It's your future, so it's your choice to refuse it if you want to wait to see it instead.

[Hey, he might be an asshole, and he might be the WORST FRIEND IN ALL OF EXISTENCE, but he still has that much respect for you at least.]

[lazyjustice]

If it'll keep you entertained.

[it really doesn't bother him one way or the other. Though it likely will but...mah, he'll take that road he comes to it]

[justicereigns]

[A head tilt. He doesn't want to tell him to entertain himself. It's more about whether Kuzan wants to know, or specifically doesn't want to know.]

[And while that might sound like he doesn't care either way, Smoker knows too well that Kuzan always sounds like that, so it doesn't actually mean he doesn't care.]

[Tricky.]

I can find other ways to amuse myself at your expense.

[lazyjustice]

Maa, well...whatever.

[turns the page and laconically tries to encase Smoker in ice just to give him something interesting]

[justicereigns]

[OI NO!]

[Kicks it!]

[HARD]

[And Smashes with the jitte.]

[So there!]

[lazyjustice]

[oh look, the children are entertained. Have more ice then]

[justicereigns]

[MORE SMASHING!]

[And some fancy color guard jitte twirling!]

[lazyjustice]

[Impressive. And at this rate, Coby should be kept occupied as well]

Having fun?

[justicereigns]

[A shrug.]

If you were a snow devil fruit user I would make a justice snow crew.

[Whatever the fuck that means.]

[lazyjustice]

[that makes no sense but he's used to that kind of thing for you]

Who says I would join?

[he's making you an ice captain's hat... on your head. No one can claim he isn't an artist. Well he's not a good one but...]

[justicereigns]

You would.

I know you.

[Awesome. He approves of this bitchin' hat. Good for migraines.]

[lazyjustice]

I'd refuse on principle.

[since Smoker seems to like it, he will work on making it more detailed. And... really he wouldn't. Since, if he had nothing better to do at the time, joining Smoker's ridiculous group was much easier than starting his own or being assaulted with a mop]

[justicereigns]

[Sweet. He needs a mirror to check this out.]

I'd con you into it, for the sake of justice.

[SO SERIOUS.]

[lazyjustice]

[he would provide a reflective surface if he knew what you wanted. As he doesn't however...]

You couldn't con a small child.

[it's in your favor, really]

[justicereigns]

I could bribe one.

Maybe.

Does that count as bribing?