[Voice]

[by_heart]

Okay, clearing something up for a friend of mine who insists he's not scared of the ocean.

List of Scary Things About The Ocean:

1. Giant spider crabs

2. Giant spider crabs

3. Drowning

4. Smaller spider crabs, I don't know. Now someone else list things.

[Yes, he did just make a list out loud instead of writing it down. Don't ask. He likes the sound of his own voice.]

Comments

[voice]

[vysecaptain]

What's so scary about spider crabs?

voice;

[windofthephoenixtemple]

Spider crabs aren't that scary. In fact I find them to be quite adorable in their own way.

[voice]

[yourotherleft]

Not that I'm scared of any of 'em, but there's also sharks, rogue waves, riptides, sea kings - although I don't think they got any of those here - uhh poisonous jellyfish, typhoons...

[voice]

[legsarerequired]

Spider crabs can be very friendly! You just have to talk to them nicely.

[Voice]

[blowfishabq]

GOBLIN SHARKS

DEEPSEA HATCHET FISH

GIANT SQUID

INVISIBLE SHARKS

[Discovery Channel!]

[om_nom_namur]

Shit, yer list is borin' Lea.

Krakens, the squeeze the water gives y' when y' dive too damn fast, shitty sea urchins, eels, sharks, orcas, anglerfish... Oh hell. All the damn waters're chock full a murderous bastards.

[Probably the reason why Seafolk are so much stronger than humans- they've had to fight their way to dominance of the seas. But Namur doesn't bother saying as much.]

Did y' know there's this li'l shit that lives in rivers who likes t' suck blood outta other fishes' gills? Bastard goes huntin' by lookin' for warm gushes a water, then hurries t' swim up and pops out bitty li'l spines so it'll stick wherever it swam up, then it jus' starts chewin' an' drinkin'. Ain't too picky though, so let's jus' say if y' gotta pee an' those li'l guys're swimmin' 'round, y' best be gettin' outta the water t' do it, sheheheheh!

[Namur, why?]

[Voice]

[heartismyown]

Okay there's scary things in the ocean, but we never see them. Why be scared of them?

voice;

[feetarestrange]

Your list isn't very good.

[Said by the expert.]