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[Voice]

Okay, clearing something up for a friend of mine who insists he's not scared of the ocean.

List of Scary Things About The Ocean:

1. Giant spider crabs

2. Giant spider crabs

3. Drowning

4. Smaller spider crabs, I don't know. Now someone else list things.

[Yes, he did just make a list out loud instead of writing it down. Don't ask. He likes the sound of his own voice.]

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Oh- those are are called, like- candida fish or something, they swim up your dick hole. Probably the scariest fucking thing in the world for a dude.

Speaking of which, why you doing this anyway, yo? Isn't it easier to pretend this shit doesn't exist and go on your merry way? As long as you're on the ocean, anyway. If you fall overboard, you're just gonna have a heart attack before you hit the water.

I was trying to make an analogy, but things have kinda gotten out of hand with the...you know...dick fish...

Well, if it helps, the ocean is scary as hell and people should probably stay away from it unless they've got automatic weapons.

Hey, you've got my 100% agreement on that. No argument here. I'm still not sure Roxas grasps the gravity of the situation, but...yeah. The ocean is terrible.

Hey, I know Roxas! Sweet kid! I didn't know this was about him. He doin' okay?

[A brief pause.]

...You Lea?

Huh? Yeah, I'm Lea.

[Roxas has been telling stories again, it seems.]

Roxas is...well, he's fine, but he's acting a bit impaired in the self-preservation department.

[Jesse sounds delighted.]

Oh! He talked about you a lot- just made me kinda want to meet you, that's all. I'm Jesse.

Too bad about the kid. That seems to happen t' the nice ones.

Yeah, he comes by the whole "fearless hero" thing naturally.

[Not that he likes hearing that at all. It's a pretty good way to start a fight.]

If you ever wanna come see that firsthand, it'll probably be all over the journals next time he gets up to something.

[He winces. It's audible.]

Yeah... I think I made him scared of space. Whether that helps or not... I dunno.

Space? Actually, I think I can work with that one...

[It's scary in ways that fit the analogy a little better than the ocean. He just went the the ocean initially because it was right there and he THOUGHT Roxas had the sense to be a little scared of it.]

Well, I successfully scared the shit outta him, so you're welcome. I don't know how proud I am of that, exactly, but if it helps keep him safe, then... good enough, I guess.

At this point, I'll take whatever I can get. Thanks.

No problem, yo.

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