piratejournal | [voice]

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[voice]

[With the onset of what seems to be an unusual cold snap, Hubert's betting on people being stuck inside with their journals for company and nothing much else to do besides trying to get warm. So he picks up his own journal to issue a plea for help:]

Does anyone know how to get someone's tongue unstuck from a frozen pole?

[The question is punctuated by incoherently dismayed mumblings in the background. Someone coughAsbelcough got bored enough to get himself into a bit of trouble and now Hubert has to figure out how to get him out of it. And so it goes.]

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Cah uhn Hahla guh la ahn ah eah!!

[This is so uncool! So stupid! So...embarrassing!! He'd been curious about the frosty designs covering the pole and had decided to get up close and personal to investigate. And he'd heard somewhere you could eat snow and it'd be all right, and well, ice was close enough! Boy, was he wrong about that!]

[It's like the pole just won't let him go! When he tries to struggle or pull away, it HURTS! Dammit, it hurts! So here he is, trying to play this off and not panic or (Gloandi forbid!) start whining and crying but really. He just wants out of here! He will never, ever, EVER try to lick a pole again...]

[Okay, Asbel, stay cool. Stayyy cool.]

[...Cool isn't the problem. It's freezing out here!]

[Meanwhile, Hubert is huddled near Asbel for warmth. He'd found out via journal-stalking that interpersonal contact would ward off the chill -- as if he needed more of a reason to stick close to his brother.

But...it seemed like the chill was starting to return regardless of how close he stayed by Asbel or how long...]

Sorry, Asbel. I'm sure someone'll reply soon so we can get you free.

[He would've asked one of the grown-ups but...they'd seemed busy with something the last that Hubert checked.]

Mwel nel din du hally uf abow et! Ay hant theel my plung anymorr!

[Asbel wants to flail around in frustration. But he can't do much of anything except screw up his face, groan, and try to hold still - and staying still is nearly impossible. So he's fidgeting a whole lot. Except that hurts too, whenever he moves around too much.]

[Come on, someone, please! Get him out of here! And quit suggesting things like cutting his tongue off! He doesn't want to be silenced for the rest of his life!!]

[Wow, can you imagine Asbel being mute for most of the game? That would've been fantastic. No friendship speeches ever.

OKAY NO I'M JUST KIDDING ON THAT

Anyway, once someone reasonable suggests warm water, Hubert abandons Asbel momentarily to go fetch that from below deck. Well, by "momentarily" I mean "for a few minutes," which probably lasts like forever for Asbel.

But anyway, eventually Hubert comes back up with a steaming cup of water, cooled down from boiling temps with some snow collected from the ship's railings (look, he was desperate, okay? HUBERT DOESN'T WANT TO BURN ASBEL'S TONGUE OFF).]

Stay still, okay? This might be kind of messy.

[Cue Hubert peering in close trying to figure out how to best pour the water with minimum mess.]

[Rude.]

[As we were saying, it lasts LIKE FOREVER. It's cold and he's stuck and now he's standing around with only the pole for company. It'd almost be worth it to just deal with the pain and yank himself free. Well...almost. But he'll wait. And you'd better prepare yourself, pole! Because once he's unstuck, he's going to get his revenge on you!]

[After what seems like an eternity, Asbel hears Hubert returning, and then there he is doing the whole kid genius "figuring" thing Asbel's never been able to understand completely. At the instruction, Asbel cuts Hubert a look. Yeah, like he's going to be going anywhere; he's stuck, remember? But he does make an effort to quit squirming around for a few minutes. He could also care less about making a mess if it means his freedom. Not that messes have ever been a problem for him anyway - everyone else is a different story.]

[Sigh.] E'ermine. Uss duit.

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You can't. We'll just have to wait until spring.

[Who thought it was a good idea to leave Jade in charge of children?]

Edited 2013-12-19 13:02 (UTC)

What?! ...you're kidding, right?

[JADE WHY]

You're right, we can't wait that long. I suppose we'll have to tear the pole from the ground and have him carry it until it comes off.

[BECAUSE JADE IS THE BEST BIG BROTHER.]

[THE BEST WORST BIG BROTHER]

But -- that's a really big pole!

[~~That's what she said.~~]

Your brother wants to be a knight, doesn't he? Consider it training.

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[The entry makes him pause for a moment. Yup, someone was silly enough to probably do that.]

You could try hot chocolate. That could work. Just pour it over the other guy's tongue and Volia. Unstuck.

I don't know if we have hot chocolate on board...

Then hot water could work. Really any hot liquid could...

If not you may just have to yank the person off. It'll hurt a LOT though.

[He's totally not speaking from experience though, fyi.]