costume change 1 ❧ voice

[managedthat]

[there is absolutely no warning before a high-pitched, distressed, loud voice emerges from the journal.]

WHO. DID. THIS.

[well, she figured out the voice function... there is an aggressive sigh, then a groan that is dragged out as long as her lungs and throat permit.]

This is NOT Fiji! This is not Monaco, or Bermuda, or Dubai, or even TOKYO! I know well enough that WHATEVER THIS IS ISN'T HOME OR A VACATION SPOT AND WHOEVER BROUGHT ME HERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION WILL BE SENT ON A HOUSHAKUJI SHIP TO ANTARCTICA AND LEFT TO DEFEND THEMSELVES FROM THE SUN ENTERING THROUGH THE ENORMOUS HOLE IN THE OZONE LAYER AND RABID PENGUINS!!!!!!

[there's another groan, and you can practically hear her pulling out her hair. yelling isn't going to help her-- screaming into a book isn't the same as tearing into a real person.]

Though, whoever helps me get home will be handsomely rewarded with as much money as they can carry to wherever they want. And I'll be grateful too! Don't think that I'm some unappreciative wretch. The sooner I get back to my room in Japan, the sooner everyone will be happy. I don't like that I've been KIDNAPPED! It's all fine and well in fiction but HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ME?!?! I'm ready to leave, no doubt about it! I saw a guy stab another guy. The first guy peed on him, so I mean it was a little deserved but I SHOULDN'T SEE ANYONE GET STABBED OR PEED ON OR SPIT LIKE FIFTEEN FEET!!! DOES NO ONE HERE KNOW MANNERS?!?!?!

[there's a soft sob, followed by squelch (possibly underfoot), then a shriek and rapid-fire swearing in japanese.]

Oh. My god. I do not know what I stepped in, but it was something AWFUL!!!! MY SHOE IS RUINED... This is terrible! Is this the commoner life? I can't handle this. Who has a private jet I can borrow? It's Renge Houshakuji. My family will pay yours back double, I promise!

Comments

[Voice]

[alwaysgrumpy]

Man, you must be used to some prime vacation spots. I can practically smell the money through this paper.

[Voice]

[managedthat]

I hope you can smell it's billions of USD. My parents did not settle for anything less than five-star-- if they could have six-star, they would.

Enough of that. WHERE AM I????

Re: [Voice]

[alwaysgrumpy]

A long, long way from home. First off, you might want to keep it down. The locals barely tolerate newcomers as it is, and you're gonna' make it worse.

Nice to meet more fellow Japanese, at least.

[Voice]

[originaldragoon]

Oh for Soa's sake, stop screeching and acting like a spoiled child! You are not the only one stuck here and having a temper-tantrum is not going to help you! In fact, everyone you speak with through these journals are stuck here as well.

As far as anyone knows there is not a convenient way to get back home, so you might as well get used to your situation.

[Voice]

[managedthat]

[the aggressive japanese continues, and there's yet another groan.]

SO I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED WITHOUT A WAY TO GET BACK AT ALL?! AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO STOP SCREECHING?! Now, I don't know where YOU'RE from, but where I'M from, this is COMPLETELY VALID.

I AM ALLOWED TO BE UPSET UNTIL I CAN GET HOME AND I CAN BATHE IN CHAMPAGNE AND DRY MYSELF OFF IN AS MUCH YEN AS I CAN HOLD.

voice

[arcadiasailor]

[The journal is trying to render him deaf, must be the next wave. He hopes she's not Maribelle Jr. tossing words like commoner around.]

You'll make a fine sailor Miss, you seem to already be able to curse like one.
[He understood all of that.]

Plenty of people around here would like have it out with Jones. [Attacked by rabid penguins and an antarctic sunburn is a new creative way though, he's writing that one down.]

voice

[managedthat]

I'm already a sailor!! Not a REAL sailor, but my daddy owns enough ships for me to be able to wear one of those cute Navy uniforms!

[see how far a compliment can get you? she's already brought the volume down to a six.]

Who's Jones? Is he the one who kidnapped me? WHERE IS HE. I have more than a few words for him!!!!!!!!

[Voice]

[justicereigns]

GOD DAMN IT WOMAN! DO YOU HAVE ANY CONCEPT OF VOLUME!

STOP SCREAMING AND BURSTING EVERY EARDRUM CONNECTED TO THE NETWORK! NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR DAMN SHOES!

[Because you know you, hypocritical yelling get.]

Re: [Voice]

[managedthat]

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I HAVE A CONCEPT OF VOLUME!

NO ONE HAS TO CARE ABOUT MY SHOES, BUT THEY SHOULD, AND THEY SHOULD CARE EVEN MORE ABOUT GETTING ME HOME!!!

voice;

[feetarestrange]

I think you have more important things to worry about than your shoes.

voice;

[managedthat]

I know I do, but this is just the crappy icing on the crappiest cake! I just bought these shoes, and I was so happy about them, but now they're... Eugh.

Today has been totally miserable!

voice;

[melodyssong]

Could you be any louder? I think I could hear it all the way on the ship without the journal being open.

voice;

[managedthat]

Do not test me. I can be WAAAAAAAAAAAAY louder. I could do it.

I could do it.

voice;

[watchesthesea]

Miss, can you please calm down for a moment.

[She can understand the melodramatics but really?]

voice;

[managedthat]

[hyperventilating--]

Yeah! Yeah, I can. I mean, it's hard to do, but I can totally do that! Of COURSE I can calm down... Easy-peasy. Deep breaths, Renge, you can do it!

Actually, if you've got anything to say, you should probably say it while I hold my breath, because deep breaths aren't really working!!

[and there's the big inhale.]

voice:

[hostclubshadowking]

[...That voice.

It's...

Well, it's not a relief. Anyone else from home being here isn't a relief. Not in the slightest. But it's familiar. And, some days, that's all he needs.]

Renge.

[He keeps his voice as calm as possible. As if this were nothing out of the ordinary. But, well, Renge is part of the club, even if she forced her way in. That makes her part of the family.

...He's starting to sound like Tamaki. Damn it.]

Renge, where are you? Still at Isla Empieza?

voice:

[managedthat]

[GASP. is that. no way. what? COULD IT BE...]

KYOUYA?! Is that you?! Oh my god, did they kidnap you too?! Now I just KNOW this is all some elaborate ransom scheme. You're worth double what I am! Oh my god, this is terrible. Do you know what's going on? I mean, I think you do-- Isla Empieza? Is that was this place is called? I heard someone call this Port Chance, I think, but I might've just made that up.

[a pause.]

I'm not doing so well here... I want to go home.

{Voice}

[mephistophilus]

Do calm yourself, my lady. Manners are severely lacking, I admit, but you are relatively safe if you can secure yourself a boarding on a ship.

{Voice}

[managedthat]

["my lady"? smooth, seductive voice? complaining about manners? hello new husband.]

I'm trying my best to stay calm, but I've never been in a position like this!! Finding a ship is going to be trouble too... I mean, I've only dealt with Houshakuji ships, and it doesn't look like there's even one here! At least I know our ships are safe, but these? I'm not so sure of...

[Voice]

[haruhi_fujioka]

Renge? [She is a little late to the party, but...wow. That's definitely their lady Manager!] Are you on Isla Empieza? Has Kyouya contacted you?

[Voice]

[managedthat]

HARUHI-KUN?! YOU'RE HERE TOO?! Where is everyone else? Is Tamaki here? The twins? Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai? Nekozawa-kun? Did they kidnap all of us? And why did they kidnap you? You're not good for ransom!! I mean, you're good for handsome [ayyyyyyyy] but why would YOU be kidnapped? Are they trying to get a set of us? Is it like "collect the anime cast"? Is that it?

I'm in Port Chance?? Is that on Isla Empieza? I've heard from Kyouya, too! He told me to stay calm. That's a good idea, right?

Also are there really pirates?

voice;

[instaboobs]

[Holy shit.]

Are you done, or were ya plannin' on complainin' for another two hours?! If you've got a problem with stabbin's or peein', then keep yer eyes closed!

voice;

[managedthat]

I could complain for DAYS if I felt like it! I'm stressed out, okay?! I've never seen anyone get STABBED IN REAL LIFE!!! I've watch crime shows, but it's totally different on those! There's like... artsy light! And dramatic music! But here it's bright, sunny! He was whistling, and then he got peed on, then he stabbed the guy who peed on him, and it was so fast, I didn't even believe it happened.

If I keep my eyes closed, I won't be able to see if someone is going to stab me!! That's so counterproductive!

[song_princess]

My lady, please control the volume of your voice. There are some with sensitive ears.

[managedthat]

[everyone's got sensitive ears here. what weenies, and that's coming from Queen of the Weenies. still, "my lady" gets her to tone it down a little. she's massively stressed, but at least this woman was polite.]

Okay. I'm doing my best to keep it down, but really, why is no one worried about people being dropped here out of the blue?!