[Written]

[dersite_dj]

[Written in surprisingly good script. Dave's intentionally leaving everything lower-case and avoiding punctuation like the devil just to amuse himself.]

to start on a serious note
im lookin for two dog monsters and a dog girl presumed dead
reward of millions of boonbucks because money is no issue
not that any of you really have a need for it
or even know what it is
forget it
i just know im either on the set of the highest budget shitty pirate movie
or ive been knocked into yet another dream bubble
rarin for me to get hosed like its the first day of summer by some chump with a handheld cam and a baseball cap flipped turnways like its a runaway corpse of a show
anyway

lets do this shitty magic notebook
time to make me laugh

Comments

[written]

[totheright]

A HIGH BUDGET SHITTY MOVIE

((Kaoru crosses it out a bajillion times before continuing.))

Sorry about that... but, uh, that's actually plausible. The movie part, I mean. ((Tamaki would think up something like that. And drag him here. And abandon him somewhere. That's possible, right?.))

I haven't seen a dog monster anywhere, though. Sorry.

I'm Kaoru?

[written]

[dersite_dj]

well not just one dog monster
kinda like chess pieces

[He got bored explaining it already.]

im dave
also what kind of movie uses magic notebooks
i guess im just too used to this weird shit
i just forego slack jawed drooling awe
oh shit look its a notebook im gonna draw a dick in it
oh shit part two look words are scrawlin themselves in like weve got a ghost on our hands
wait shit is the ghost dick thing coming true

[written]

[totheright]

((It's okay - Kaoru was already bored of reading.))

Maybe they're electronic or something? Like fax machines? Is this even how fax machines work?

... have you seen any guys in uniforms with black slacks around? Just out of curiosity. Cause I seem to be the only one not dressed in some hideous excuse for an outfit around here.

[written]

[dersite_dj]

what like business men
cause i havent seen any
just scrubby lookin village chumps with buckets and a desperate need to bathe

[written]

[totheright]

... Is this hell?

It must be some sort of prank. Whatever sort of prank this is, it's pretty stupid. This can't be legit.

[written]

[dersite_dj]

pretty sure its legit
you know how when you pinch yourself to test if youre dreaming
well i upped the ante because of shitty mystical parallels and im still here so
definitely not dreaming

[written]

[totheright]

Yeah, well, maybe you're part of the prank.



... Sorry, that's stupid. We should probably try to figure out where we are. Besides the fact that we're obviously in some ass-backwards town in terms of hygiene and fashion.

[written]

[dersite_dj]

apology accepted
but does it really matter
we just gotta hitch a boat and get the hell out

[written]

[totheright]

Oh, right. Finding a crew.

If it has to be a crew with people from this place, I'd rather go solo. I mean, excluding you, unless you're grimy too.

[written]

[dersite_dj]

i take offense even if its pointless
been chillin with the same threads for three years
sure i wash em but how do you really get rid of the same consistent skin flakes constantly caking into the seams
caking in like brittle goddamn bones in a rancors maw
that shitll break but the cleanup is horrendous

written

[bydesign]

I don't think I've run into any of those... I'll tell you if I do.

It's not a movie set, though, I know that much.

written

[dersite_dj]

kind of figured
nothings being blown up and who the fuck uses magic notebooks on a movie set
text me you goddamn moron
scrawling in fucking cursive when you can hit a single button and blow villagers fucking minds
fuck fire
prometheus should have spat texts
anyway sup
im dave

written

[bydesign]

I'm Madoka. Nice to meet you!

I definitely do miss my cell phone...

written

[dersite_dj]

ive got like five cell phones but
not really in the shape phones are supposed to be
whatever they dont work anyway

written

[bydesign]

Why would you need more than one? Do they all have different numbers?

written

[dersite_dj]

someone told me i should keep more phones
i ended up accidentally taking that advice
shitty story

written

[bydesign]

Well... Did it end up helping you?

written

[dersite_dj]

didnt have much time to scope out the results
things kind of exploded
so yeah
well see i guess

written

[bydesign]

It's good to be prepared, I guess!

[Voice]

[fierybluebird]

Are you from the same world as Madoka? [Because obviously everyone from the same world would know each other okay.]

I only know of one dog monster, but I'm not sure why you're looking for them.

[voice]

[dersite_dj]

[This he can do. Voice allows a little freedom.]

Dunno who that is.

So, what's your dog monster look like?

Walks like a human? Got one arm? Glows green?

[voice]

[fierybluebird]

Madoka's a sweet girl who's very smart even if she doesn't know much about piracy. Her world has movies. And cars.

Nah, none of that. I'm not sure how he looks, but Scurvey Dog has a cold.

[voice]

[dersite_dj]

Movies and cars. Yeah, sounds like mine, I guess. Though, I wouldn't really identify it just by those two things. We also have Kanye West, sad to say.

Whatever. If nobody sees them, that might be for the best. I guess I need to give a shit about finding a crew, though.

[voice]

[fierybluebird]

What's Kanye West?

Aye, finding a crew would probably be for the best if you intend to survive, eh.

[voice]

[dersite_dj]

Eh. Surviving isn't my biggest worry right now.

And, Kanye West is a name we use to describe a Prime Time douche.