piratejournal | [audio - written] Selphie's Sad Times

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[audio - written] Selphie's Sad Times

*The journal starts off first with a breath, like someone is about to say something really important, but difficult to say. But instead of words, there's just a soft, slow sigh. Talking about this really isn't going to be easy, so she promptly decides to write things down instead. She writes very carefully, not committing to putting the words down until she's got them straight in her head, which is unusual for Selphie*

My whole life, I've never known my parents. They died when I was very young, it seemed, and recently I've gained back some memories of the orphanage I used to live in. I didn't know what they looked like, what they did, what kind of people they were. In a way, I think I accepted that. I was never adopted, and I was sent to live at a military school. That, for me, was always that. Of course I wondered. Of course I imagined they'd come back. But what I never imagined, was meeting someone here who does have memories of my parents.

These past couple of months, it's like my whole world has been flipped upside down, and I'm not even in my home world. Since the new year, one thing after another, and another. Sometimes it's just hard to know what to think anymore. It's not just this place, but the people too. I've always been a think-on-your-feet, live-in-the-moment type girl, but until recently, I don't think I ever really appreciated just how quickly everything can completely change, swept from beneath your feet, dumped on you from a great height.

Now that I've written this much, I'm not really sure what it is I wanted to say. I suppose, just that, even though this world isn't home, there's no underestimating what might happen, and how the people we meet here might affect us.

Just keep happy, everyone.

Just keep doing the things that make you smile.

*Then the journal entry finishes. There's not the usual signing of her name, not the usual message of love and peace, nor a scribbled love heart, or a smiley face. But she does go back to underline that last line, if even for her own sake than anyone else's*

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[Chandra, like Ace, had been training herself at something, sitting up on the prow of the ship and taking in the scent of salt...trying to focus herself enough to actually use what that guy had tried to teach her. It wasn't the easiest thing, drawing on her polar opposite's mana, but she was at least managing to get little bits of magic to work.

Unfortunately, Blue magic was just so darn boring, and while she worked she had her journal open. Which meant she got Selphie's message loud and clear. And that meant that maybe it was time to go check on the kid.

First stop was her room, where she gathered up a bottle of an orange-ish liquor and a couple of glasses. And then she knocks on Selphie's door.]

Hey, Selphie. It's me, Chandra. I got somethin' for ya.

*From her place curled up in a chair with a blanket and some plush toys, Selphie looks up from her journal and calls over*

Hey, it's open. Come on in.

[She pops open the door, shoves the bottle in ahead of her, wiggling it as she enters.]

Thought you could use a little liquid cheer. And I thought I could use a break from...ugh...studying.

*Selphie manages a small laugh at the wiggling bottle - she does actually agree with Chandra here, though she narrows her eyes at the liquid, trying to figure out what exactly it is*

Sure, liquid cheer sounds good. What have you been studying?

Ugh...

[Chandra lets out a pretty dramatic sigh as she meanders in.]

Blue magic. My last run-in with that guy got me thinking, and I'm sorta...trying to take his advice. Kinda.

*As Chandra enters, Selphie sits herself up properly in her chair, motioning to the other one beside it*

Magic is sorted by colour in your world?

*She raises a brow though, at the mention of that guy*

A blue magic guy?

[Chandra saunters over and plunks down, setting glasses down on the table.]

Yeah. 5 colors, 5 kinds of magic. And yeah...blue magic guy. Goes by Jace. He's good at the blue stuff.

Red for fire, right? And blue is...water? Ice?

*Because, hello, Magic, that makes sense*

So...you're teaching each other how to do the opposite kind of magic, kinda?

*Being a good hostess, Selphie gratefully accepts the bottle and pours the stuff into the two glasses. She lifts her own and takes a sniff, raising a brow at Chandra questioningly*

Fire's part of red. Red is for chaos...freedom, impulses. Basically it's how I life. Blue is logic, thought, water, ice, and planning. So, like, freezing things sure, making mist and illusions, or getting into someone's head.

[And she nods.]

And we kind of are, yeah. Had to, last time we were together there was a dragon trying to eat us.

[Chandra reaches for her cup and grins.]

And this, my dear, depressed little flower...is Regathan Firebrandy. Found some in the shop last time we were in port.

Right. So opposites! That's a real good idea to share your skills, then. Between the two of you that's a whole load of good skills and abilities to have. And, yeah, if it helps you get away from a dragon that that's a bonus too.

*She smiles at Chandra, then looks back at her drink, and up again, a little uncertain*

Firebrandy? It isn't gonna burn or anything, is it?

Only in the good way. Drink up, cutie!

[Chandra holds hers up for a toast.]

*She smirks a little at that, and gently touches Chandra's glass with her own. Then, with a determined nod, Selphie drinks down a generous gulp of the stuff. Judging by the look on her face afterward, she's discovered the burning part*

You like?

[It barely seems to phase Chandra, naturally.]

Uh huh!

*Despite the grimace, Selphie nods, and decides to take another sip*

Thanks for sharing this with me.

Least I could do after reading your newest entry, cutie.

[Chandra gulps down more of the warm liquid, watching Selphie curiously.]

What's up? We should talk, clearly. Since I'm here, and you're here, and we have this bottle of liquor here...

*Selphie nods slowly at that, and settles back into her chair*

I didn't mean to make anyone worry or anything...

*She picks up a cuddly toy she was sitting on and puts it on her lap*

I've just had the worst year ever. Seriously. I guess, on the plus side, it probably can't get any worse than this.

[Chandra leans forward, sort of invading Selphie's personal space.]

You've had a bad year? Tell me about it? What's happened?

[And she almost asks...who do I have to blow up?]

*She glances up at Chandra, but has to take another gulp before she feels ready to talk*

You really wanna know about it?

*Selphie shrugs a shoulder and takes a breath*

Let's see... So, it starts with me being possessed, trying to kill you, and others. I killed my friend. Then my boyfriend, at the time, killed me. I spent two weeks in a cell hating myself and wanting to do, then I get rescued. A few days later, and my boyfriend breaks up with me. Only, he doesn't do it directly, he just doesn't see me for weeks on end first. And then it turns out that even though I grew up an orphan with no memory of my parents, there's someone else here who remembers them clearly. And it's all - all so crazy and stupid.

[Chandra absorbs all this with an attentive look, not daring to interrupt. That would be rude, even for her, and she has more sense than that.

When Selphie finishes speaking though, she gulps down more liquor and pours herself another glass before starting to talk again.]

That...is a pretty rough deal, Selphie. No lie, that's a pretty bad time. But, look at it this way. First of all, you didn't kill me. No way could you even begin to imagine how good that makes me feel. Not that you could...pipsqueak like you...[She winks]

Second. That boyfriend of yours? If he's not man enough to tell you how he feels, then fuck him. That's not the kind of person you need in your life. A hot little thing like you could easily find a much, much more suitable partner. Someone who'll make you laugh, stick with you and feed you strawberries, make you scream their name while doing all sorts of unspeakable things to you, and they'll do it because you're awesome.

That other guy? He can go jump off a plank because he doesn't know what he's missing.

*Selphie lowers her head and takes another drink, at least feeling better that someone else has acknowledged that it isn't wrong for her to feel bad about things. She glances back up with a tiny smile, and quickly refills her own glass*

Well, he's not my boyfriend anymore. That much is certain.

*She does look a little startled as Chandra continues, blushing slightly because she's not going to disagree that that's the kind of relationship she wants*

I don't know that anyone else is going to... Well, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to be trying to replace that...

[Chandra sips her drink, grinning around the lip of the cup.]

Of course he's not. Fuck that noise.

[She spins her chair a bit so she's sitting side by side with the other girl and slips an arm around her shoulder.]

What do you like in a partner? I mean, you should move on, y'know. No reason to mope, and hehe, I bet we could make him super jealous.

*Selphie doesn't actually know what she means by that. So she just blinks at her, before drinking some more. Selphie turns to Chandra when she moves closer, then drops her eyes to the floor as she answers*

One day, maybe, just someone who...actually likes me, and they won't be angry at me all the time.

*Really, that was all she could hope for at this stage, simple as it is*

I don't think...being jealous is... I don't think he'd get jealous. And, if he did then - it's not worth it.

[Chandra's grin softens a bit, and she squeezes tight before taking another drink with her free hand.]

I'm sure we can find someone like that. In fact, I know we can. Because I actually like you, and I'm not going to be angry at you unless you set my hair on fire or something.

[Oh...wait...]

*Sorry, Chandra, Selphie isn't really getting this right now. Her head is obviously not in the right place, and she hasn't had enough to drink to lift her spirits. She stiffens under Chandra's arm and mumbles into her cup*

...are you...making fun of me?

[Chandra bends over and pulls her in tighter.]

What? No...of course not.

[Her own voice is pitched low, and threaded with concern.]

I'm being serious, Selphie. [For once.] I know, I probably sound like I'm not taking your problem seriously, but believe me. I've...been where you are. It's no fun, and I wanna help you.

I swear on all my power, that I am not making fun of you.

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