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piratejournal2014-03-07 06:24 pm
[audio - written] Selphie's Sad Times
*The journal starts off first with a breath, like someone is about to say something really important, but difficult to say. But instead of words, there's just a soft, slow sigh. Talking about this really isn't going to be easy, so she promptly decides to write things down instead. She writes very carefully, not committing to putting the words down until she's got them straight in her head, which is unusual for Selphie*
My whole life, I've never known my parents. They died when I was very young, it seemed, and recently I've gained back some memories of the orphanage I used to live in. I didn't know what they looked like, what they did, what kind of people they were. In a way, I think I accepted that. I was never adopted, and I was sent to live at a military school. That, for me, was always that. Of course I wondered. Of course I imagined they'd come back. But what I never imagined, was meeting someone here who does have memories of my parents.
These past couple of months, it's like my whole world has been flipped upside down, and I'm not even in my home world. Since the new year, one thing after another, and another. Sometimes it's just hard to know what to think anymore. It's not just this place, but the people too. I've always been a think-on-your-feet, live-in-the-moment type girl, but until recently, I don't think I ever really appreciated just how quickly everything can completely change, swept from beneath your feet, dumped on you from a great height.
Now that I've written this much, I'm not really sure what it is I wanted to say. I suppose, just that, even though this world isn't home, there's no underestimating what might happen, and how the people we meet here might affect us.
Just keep happy, everyone.
Just keep doing the things that make you smile.
*Then the journal entry finishes. There's not the usual signing of her name, not the usual message of love and peace, nor a scribbled love heart, or a smiley face. But she does go back to underline that last line, if even for her own sake than anyone else's*
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Chandra likes everyone. She is not discriminating!]Me either. But frankly that's never stopped me. You shouldn't let it stop you.
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I think..it's best if I just wait. Maybe someone will learn to like me one day, maybe there really is some guy out there who likes girls that look like me. But - I don't think I'm gonna go outta my way to find him. I feel like that would take a long time.
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Don't give up on that, or you won't be any better off than that guy I was talking about.
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What do you mean?
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[Shrugs]
I think he let this stuff get to him and it sucked the fun right out of him.
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*She looks quite thoughtful about this, really not wanting to turn into that kind of person herself*
And even you weren't able to coax him out of feeling that way?
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He won't let me try. He's...selfish, I guess you could say. And set in his ways.
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*Detecting the change in Chandra's voice, this time Selphie is the one to sound cheery*
Well, if he ever winds up here, you and me can give him a big bear hug!
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Bet he'd like that. Honestly, he'd probably like you a lot.
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Of course he would! Two cute girls giving him a hug - why wouldn't he like it?
*She smiles at that and tilts her head slightly*
Oh really? What makes you think that?
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Because deep down he knows he needs to be around bubbly, happy people.
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*She's as positive as this usually, but the drink seems to have cajoled her into being more cheery*
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[Grinning, Chandra pours even more of the warming drink.]
Hopefully he won't though. He's a real dick at times. And never in a good way.
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Huh. That's a shame. I'm just so...fed up of dicks right now. I mean, well, not like, actual dicks, though, I don't even know if I'm fed up with them... *Seriously, Selphie usually talks more than necessary but seems the drink still has an effect on what she's saying*
But I mean, those guys, that think they are so so awesome, and that all the girls in all the world should love them, and they make sure that the girl that loves them the most feels like shit for not being good enough for them. That kinda dick. I don't want anymore of that.
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[She can't help but grin, listening to this.]
Those are the kinda guys you set on fucking fire and walk away from. They're good for a night of fun once in a while, but only if you make sure they know you are the one in charge.
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He's pretty much made of fire...and a night - that was the furthest thing from his mind...
*She mumbles this into her glass before taking another, bigger, gulp*
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Well, then that's his fucking loss, avoiding a fun time with you. Cute little thing like you...man, what the fuck was he thinking? Anyone with real balls would be all over you like white on rice.
[She snorts]
And if he's made of fire, I could totally turn him inside out for you.
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*But she stops in whatever it was she was going to say next, apparently quite shocked, or at least very surprised, with Chandra's analogy*
All over me like -
*And now she's blushing as she drinks some, but she raises her eyebrows in warning at Chandra*
Nu uh. It's okay. He's best just left...doing..whatever it is. Not like he's gonna be bothering me anytime soon or anything...
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Alright, if you say so. But you say the word if he does, kay?
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Mmhmm.
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Don't blush, cutie. I'm serious.
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*Her blush was mostly gone. Not that she was a prude - far from it - but no one had ever much suggested that she might have much possibility of a sex life*
Anyway, enough about me! You got your eye on anybody round here?
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Anybody? Hah...how about almost everybody. Seriously not sure I could pick a favorite.
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*Selphie shifts in her chair, lifting her legs to tuck beneath her, looking very interested in what Chandra might have to say*
Like who? Who do you like better than others?
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[She grins.]
Roxas, Riku, and Kairi are way too young for me. And Yuuki's a vampire, so he's out. And...I guess maybe it's just me, but Namur and Nami are fish people, so...not them.
The rest of you that I've met? Totally hot. In a not...literal sense. I...think I'm using that expression right, too.
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