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[audio - written] Selphie's Sad Times
*The journal starts off first with a breath, like someone is about to say something really important, but difficult to say. But instead of words, there's just a soft, slow sigh. Talking about this really isn't going to be easy, so she promptly decides to write things down instead. She writes very carefully, not committing to putting the words down until she's got them straight in her head, which is unusual for Selphie*
My whole life, I've never known my parents. They died when I was very young, it seemed, and recently I've gained back some memories of the orphanage I used to live in. I didn't know what they looked like, what they did, what kind of people they were. In a way, I think I accepted that. I was never adopted, and I was sent to live at a military school. That, for me, was always that. Of course I wondered. Of course I imagined they'd come back. But what I never imagined, was meeting someone here who does have memories of my parents.
These past couple of months, it's like my whole world has been flipped upside down, and I'm not even in my home world. Since the new year, one thing after another, and another. Sometimes it's just hard to know what to think anymore. It's not just this place, but the people too. I've always been a think-on-your-feet, live-in-the-moment type girl, but until recently, I don't think I ever really appreciated just how quickly everything can completely change, swept from beneath your feet, dumped on you from a great height.
Now that I've written this much, I'm not really sure what it is I wanted to say. I suppose, just that, even though this world isn't home, there's no underestimating what might happen, and how the people we meet here might affect us.
Just keep happy, everyone.
Just keep doing the things that make you smile.
*Then the journal entry finishes. There's not the usual signing of her name, not the usual message of love and peace, nor a scribbled love heart, or a smiley face. But she does go back to underline that last line, if even for her own sake than anyone else's*
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[Chandra can't help but giggle.]
And yeah, Logan's okay, but...compared to Ace? Or Thatch? Or hah, any of the ladies.
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*Selphie thinks about this for a moment, and thinks that Chandra is probably right. She shrugs a shoulder, making a mental note that he's too good for her and could probably be removed from her list of possibilities, which seems to be rapidly dwindling by the minute*
Maybe.
So...Ace or Thatch it is, huh?
*Selphie giggles as she drains more of her glass*
Thatch is...better now. I think he likes me more than he used to. I think he thought I was a waste of space or something. But wow, he's way too tall for me! But hey - maybe you could date both! A triangle date, you could call it!
*And thinking of Thatch, she glances carefully to Chandra*
He's gonna take me to a brothel, you know!
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And...then...of course, she hears what Thatch is planning, she's invariably got a mouthful of liquor in her mouth.
That is now spittaked all over the wall.]
A brothel! What?! You?!
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Yup! In a couple of weeks! He did promise. I think he thought he wouldn't have to.
*But at that she laughs, quite clearly at herself*
Anywaaay, he said he'd take me, cause there are men there too, for women to...hang out with. Like - what was it you said? Oh yeah, white on rice!
*All spoken about like it was a trip to the supermarket*
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Yes, though...uh...what is it you want these men to do to you, Cutie? I mean, a brothel's not really about hanging out. But...it is a bit like white on rice, if you want that.
[And...probably more.]
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*Because, let's face it, there are times when Selphie is definitely sure white on rice is what she wants. But actually, mostly she thinks she might just like some attention, cuddles and sweet nothings*
But, everyone else who goes there seems to have a good time, so why shouldn't I?
*Definitely not pouting*
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[Chandra takes a sip, slowing down a bit.]
I'm not saying you shouldn't go have a good time. Far from it. I'm just staying why pay for it. Next time we make port, why don't you come out to the bar with me? That way we can have a good time together, find you a nice guy who'll be happy to do whatever you like...and it won't cost you a dime?
Paying for it takes a lot of the fun out of it, y'know.
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Yes! That's an awesome idea! There will be this guy there, and he'll be so hot to look at, but also... he'll be really wellspoken, and polite. And the moment he sees me he'll be totally amazed by me, and he'll want nothing more right then than to make me happy! So he'll buy me drinks, and he'll make me laugh, and he'll tell me how gorgeous I am. And he'll kiss me like I'm the most stunning girl he's ever met. And after all if that, he'll look so happy, and he won't be disgusted at me not one tiny bit. In fact, he'll kiss me again, in the rain, and it'll be totally hot and romantic!
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That's exactly how it'll go! Believe me, we'll go out and have a blast, maybe find a pair of brothers. And we'll have a hot, amazing evening together, and when it's time to go, we can sail away and leave them with happy memories, and maybe some underwear.
[And she totally means for that to happen now.]
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Yes! The hottest brothers ever! Mine should have really nice hair too, longish! And he'll smell so good! Probably he'll fall desperately in love with me, and he'll spend his entire life dreaming of me. I'll ruin love for him - cause no one will make him feel the way that I did!
*Yup, definitely spent too long reading romance stories*