hollywood_bro: (cool2)
Alpha Bro/Dave Strider ([personal profile] hollywood_bro) wrote in [community profile] piratejournal2013-12-15 08:24 am

[Written] Baby it's cold outside

it's colder than the sea witch's titties out here
not that i ever touched them. ew.
huge boner killer
but it's unreal like
i can't get warm even if i'm sitting next to a fire.
so
who wants to help me get warm?
shit i hate that this thing can't take video
there's no way for me to show you how awesome i am.
hold up
wait a minute


[Dave decides to draw a self portrait with the same red ink he's been using to write. He makes his face and hair first, carelessly scribbles in his shades, and when he gets to his body he decides that he doesn't give a shit about anatomy.]

[Wow. That is the shittiest drawing ever. It's cool though, in an ironic sort of way. Dave is completely convinced that this shitty drawing will get him laid. Girls love a guy with a sense of humor.]


there
i'm fucking ripped.
who wants me?


[Feel free to have your character laugh at him/make fun of him/etc.]
totheright: (careless)

[written]

[personal profile] totheright 2013-12-15 08:41 pm (UTC)(link)
sorry
i'd love to come over but i'm not into lizards
you understand
totheright: (casual)

[written]

[personal profile] totheright 2013-12-15 09:31 pm (UTC)(link)
oh really?
the image was misleading
just letting you know.

... that makes 2 of us. the 'not wanting to know' part. kaoru hitachiin. who are you?

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[Voice]

[personal profile] imashaaaaark 2013-12-15 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)
What the HELL is that? Did your lower half turn into a bug's lower half? Why do you have so many boobs? Are you really a girl? Why are you fondling yourself?

Re: [Voice]

[personal profile] imashaaaaark 2013-12-15 09:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh...You just suck at art, then. I hope you sail better than you illustrate.

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written;

[personal profile] dersite_dj 2013-12-15 09:21 pm (UTC)(link)
shits honestly fuckin beautiful
some crispy old fuck with a handlebar mustache is slowly lowering his elephant gun and wiping away one dusty old tear to spare shooting this majestic goddamn specimen

written

[personal profile] dersite_dj 2013-12-16 10:56 pm (UTC)(link)
bob barker would roll in his fucking grave if someone tried to put a price on it
billionaires would get outbid by this fucking tapestry itself
art didnt know what it was until you set the fucking marker down on your shitty magic notebook
also are you doing a fucking dance in it

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thetruehistorian: (a friendly mystery)

[Written]

[personal profile] thetruehistorian 2013-12-15 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
If you need undergarments with excellent support I've located a shop that's willing to barter.
thetruehistorian: (neutral smile)

[Written]

[personal profile] thetruehistorian 2013-12-15 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh I saw the painstaking care with which you drew it. Perhaps adding a bit of chiaroscuro will help your vision communicate itself more clearly.

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thatsmycue: (pic#7148932)

[written]

[personal profile] thatsmycue 2013-12-15 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Whoa, if that's a self-portrait, you're pretty ugly.

[Gold tells it like it is]
thatsmycue: (Default)

[written]

[personal profile] thatsmycue 2013-12-15 10:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey! You don't know me, you don't know what my art skills are like. I can draw better'n that.

[Maybe in his head]

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hisoldtricks: (026 || Thor)

written

[personal profile] hisoldtricks 2013-12-16 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
If that is an accurate representation of your body then you may want to invest in blankets.
hisoldtricks: (022 || Thor)

written

[personal profile] hisoldtricks 2013-12-16 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
Ah then you may want to draw a more flattering figure of yourself. Your present avatar is quite deformed.

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makestrouble: (Uuuh?)

[Written]

[personal profile] makestrouble 2013-12-16 05:43 am (UTC)(link)
No one. No one wants you. You look like a really sad awakened being.
makestrouble: (Ehehe whut?)

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[personal profile] makestrouble 2013-12-16 09:31 am (UTC)(link)
You, apparently.

How do you even walk on those stubby little legs?

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redcinemareel: (Grell: DO NOT WANT)

[Written]

[personal profile] redcinemareel 2013-12-17 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[Her ink is also red, but her handwriting is in beautiful cursive.]

That's hideous.
redcinemareel: (Grell: ...you're kidding me.)

[Written]

[personal profile] redcinemareel 2013-12-22 12:16 am (UTC)(link)
I think everyone understands irony, but no one likes terrible art.

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