[written] SBaHJ: Pirated

[hollywood_bro]

[Dave is feeling much better now that his captain has returned and he has his own body back, better than he has in a long time. In fact, he's feeling so good that he's about to do something incredibly stupid.]

ok so back when i first got here
which was in the winter or some shit
someone said i needed more colors to illustrate the full depth of my artistic vision
and i totally agreed with her
so now
coming to you for the first time ever
in FULL COLOR MOTHERFUCKERS
or like
as many colors as i could mix with the basic primary inks
which is kind of a lot
i present the pirated version of sbahj



ok i know it's not much
but i got excited about making different colors of ink
and forgot what i was gonna write
next time the comic will be longer i promise

Comments

[written]

[booyaka_boom]

That's...pretty gross. And your drawing kind of sucks. Maybe you should find someone else if you want to keep making comics.

[written]

[hollywood_bro]

it's ironic
it isn't supposed to look good it's supposed to look gross
that's sort of the point.

[written]

[booyaka_boom]

That is...weird. I don't get it. Is it supposed to look funny?

*She's tilting her head at her journal, trying to figure it out*

[written]

[hollywood_bro]

the best kind of irony achieves total anatomical ambiguity
like you can tell there are arms legs and a torso
but there's no way to determine where the elbows and knees are
you can't separate the chest from the lower abdomen because the characters have no waist
look at the last panel
you can't even tell what animal parts they're supposed to have
i guess sweet bro is some kind of dog horse hybrid and hella jeff is a duck pig
but i don't know i just drew random animal parts

[written]

[booyaka_boom]

So like animal porn? But you didn't draw the bits so you wouldn't get in trouble?

*Apparently, someone still isn't getting it*

[written]

[hollywood_bro]

sure
whatever you say

[Dave isn't going to argue with a pretty girl. Part of the fun of his comics is that people can interpret them however they want to.]

there are kids here and we both know that shit ain't appropriate for children

[crankyshark]

[Thash was surprised to see something so colorful upon opening the journal- usually it was just sounds or boring writing that he ignored. He didn't read all of what Dave had scrawled out in red lettering but he did look at and slowly read the comic. Sometimes he had a hard time getting jokes, especially written ones... But this one was so simple he actually got it and gave an amused chuckle]

That's...funny, Captain Strider. He thinks fire 'mate' means something strange, hahah... It's nice and colorful too. Your drawing is good.

[theres a bit of a pause as he wonders if he should ask a question that Dave might think is dumb...]

What's yiff mean?

[cuz that animal dude looks like he's grabbing the other dude's butt...does yiffing mean butt grabbing?]

[hollywood_bro]

finally someone who appreciates my artistic vision
this guy knows a masterpiece when he sees it
it's frustrating that i've had to explain irony to so many people
but my bro knows what's going on.

yiff is like the furry version of fucking
i don't know why they call it that
maybe because that's the noise the animal makes while they're doing it
what does the fox say?
yiff yiff yiff yiff yiff yiff yiff

[crankyshark]

Oh...so 'yiff' and 'mate' mean the same thing basically. Makes even more sense now, eheheh.

[Stupid joke time for Thash] so since I'm 1/4 animal would that make it 1/4 yiff if I mate? Heheh...

[oh ho ho, so funny, Thash. You idiot -_-; ]

Although I'm not furry...

[hollywood_bro]

yeah it's a play on words
mate can mean a guy on a ship but it can also mean fucking
it doesn't matter what the ratio of animal to human parts is
you're more shark than either of those anthro dudes i drew so you can all it whatever you want it doesn't matter
you don't have to have fur either
like as long as you're at least part animal people will consider your a furry and you can use the word yiff
humans in fur suits use it and they aren't part animal

[crankyshark]

[he nodded to most of the explanation though Dave couldn't see it. The last part surprised him though]

Wait...there's humans that wear fur suits? To dress up as animals?

What the crap... Why the heck do the humans in my world have a problem with a shark dude then?! How stupid... Well, maybe the humans in my world don't do that...I don't know if they'd call me a 'furry' either.

[hollywood_bro]

some people think furries are gross and others think they're hot
i don't care
if you want to stick your dick in someone dressed like a squirrel that's your business
guess you could say they're gettin' tail
oh snap

[written]

[buttwarmed]

...Masterful.

[written]

[hollywood_bro]

thank you

voice;

[feetarestrange]

What does "yiffing" mean?

[I regret nothing.]

voice;

[hollywood_bro]

Yiffing is how animals make little baby animals. I would tell you to tune into the Discovery channel, but that's sort of impossible.

voice;

[feetarestrange]

Oh... But aren't they human? At least, I think they're supposed to be human. The way they're drawn is pretty weird.

voice;

[hollywood_bro]

They're part human and part animal, only in the last panel though. They're only human in the other panels.

voice;

[feetarestrange]

I still don't get it... Why are they part animal in the last panel but not the others?

[#mermaidlogic]

voice;

[hollywood_bro]

There isn't a reason. It's just to troll people.

[It also went along with the mating joke, but Dave doesn't want to explain that.]

voice; i'm CRYING.

[managedthat]

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!! What is this?! I'm not sure what I am looking at... but I feel it... In my heart. I see the humour in this, and the striking, vivid colours add to an already eye-catching scene. The art style is intentionally awful to make it even MORE humorous, and it honestly works. The punchline is clever, and the designs are wacky.... This is so terribly executed it's PERFECT!!! This is TRUE ART!!!!!! A vision unparalleled, one art critics will debate for years to come. Was the blue one a true furry all along? Was the dream just in jest? Why does the red man resist? How did they get booties so big? Is that a play on words because of pirates? What do the creatures they transform into mean?!

I... I LOVE IT!!!!! This is true art. I'm a mangaka myself, so I know the pain of being restrained here, but now you can create more!!! GO FORTH, SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF-SAN!!!! MAKE MORE TERRIBLE BUT BEAUTIFUL COMICS!!!!

this is one of the most beautiful tags i've ever gotten

[hollywood_bro]

thank you
always glad to have another fan
be sure to stay tuned in for the next update
i can't say when it's gonna be because pirates are always attacking my ship
but i won't leave you hanging for long

a beautiful tag for a beautiful post

[managedthat]

Please don't!!!! I await the next instalment eagerly!

Do you have loads of fans here, or are you unappreciated in your time?

[hollywood_bro]

i am so unappreciated you don't even know
no one here understands the irony
or the references
it's like the entirety of my work is lost on them and it's the saddest fucking thing i ever saw.

[managedthat]

That's so terrible!!!!! I'm sorry, Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff-san!!! I will always appreciate your work. You have amazing talent that should be adored by everyone here, but I'll tell you that so many people here have poor taste or are just uneducated.

Like I had to explain what a comic book was to someone! And they didn't know who The Avengers were! What's a girl to do?!