[written] SBaHJ: Pirated

[hollywood_bro]

[Dave is feeling much better now that his captain has returned and he has his own body back, better than he has in a long time. In fact, he's feeling so good that he's about to do something incredibly stupid.]

ok so back when i first got here
which was in the winter or some shit
someone said i needed more colors to illustrate the full depth of my artistic vision
and i totally agreed with her
so now
coming to you for the first time ever
in FULL COLOR MOTHERFUCKERS
or like
as many colors as i could mix with the basic primary inks
which is kind of a lot
i present the pirated version of sbahj



ok i know it's not much
but i got excited about making different colors of ink
and forgot what i was gonna write
next time the comic will be longer i promise

Comments

[crankyshark]

[he nodded to most of the explanation though Dave couldn't see it. The last part surprised him though]

Wait...there's humans that wear fur suits? To dress up as animals?

What the crap... Why the heck do the humans in my world have a problem with a shark dude then?! How stupid... Well, maybe the humans in my world don't do that...I don't know if they'd call me a 'furry' either.

[hollywood_bro]

some people think furries are gross and others think they're hot
i don't care
if you want to stick your dick in someone dressed like a squirrel that's your business
guess you could say they're gettin' tail
oh snap

[crankyshark]

Um....r-right.

[he agreed with Dave fundamentally. He of all people thought it was fine to be attracted to people with animal features since he had quite a few himself. He just...wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. It was a crass but funny at the same time]

Heh...hey, there's nothing wrong with tails, that's for sure. Or people who like them...

[hollywood_bro]

nah
tails are kind of hot actually
i'm used to thick fluffy ones but i guess smooth shark tails are cool too
there are even humans who have tails
it's a weird birth defect

[crankyshark]

seriously....?

[He had a hard time imagining a human with a tail]

I've never seen that before. What does it look like when a human has a tail?

[hollywood_bro]

yeah it happens
it's pretty rare though
i've seen pictures but i don't know anyone who has one
it looks like an elephant tail
except pink

[crankyshark]

[Thash had been imagining something more like a large monkey or cat tail, furry and light. That'd be kind of cute. A pink elephant tail on the back of a human though... was not an attractive mental image]

...man, that's weird. I wouldn't judge 'em if I saw one though. Guessing by how humans react to unusual things in my world, I bet humans with tails like that get enough ridicule already...

[hollywood_bro]

[Humans don't have fur though. Just skin. Human tails look weird.]

human tails aren't very long
so most people can hide them in their pants
if no one can see it no one can make fun of it
most of the time when a baby human is born with a tail a doctor will cut it off anyway
so the only adults who have them live in third world countries
people probably think they're messengers from a monkey god and worship them or something

[crankyshark]

Ack...they actually cut them off?! Wow... [there were some things that Dave said that made Thash think his world would be a nice one to live in, but...that was not one of those things]

There's no people in your world that are legitimately part animal, though?

[hollywood_bro]

well yeah
humans cut anything off they don't like
moles, extra appendages, foreskins
if someone had a sixth toe they'd cut that off too
because you don't need it.

[crankyshark]

...yeesh. I admit I've got some unusual body parts but I'm glad no one trimmed 'em off when I was a baby. They're useful though, unlike a ...sixth toe

[hollywood_bro]

some parts are more useful than others
i know plenty of people who've lost their tonsils or an appendix and it didn't affect them
a lot of people have their wisdom teeth removed it doesn't make them stupid
but i guess losing your tail would really suck
i'm not even sure you could swim that way.

[crankyshark]

I wouldn't be able to swim like a shark, that's for sure. If have to just use my arms and legs like a human....that would feel really slow to me

[hollywood_bro]

yeah i know you're a lot faster with your tail
do your arms and legs ever get in the way?
do you have to keep them at your sides to go faster?

[crankyshark]

They do a bit. If I'm going a slow or moderate speed I'll use 'em, but I do have to keep them out of the way if I'm trying to hit top speed.