First | Text | Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain

[pluggedintheoverlord]

[Joker, being the paragon of professionalism that he is, has taken Garrus Vakarian's book. There was only one thing that he could possibly do with it: pretend to be Garrus and say horrible, hideous shit to everyone, ever.]

[You're welcome.]

I'm Garrus Vakarian and this is your favorite raptor johnson on the Citadel.

[It's really hard for him to, y'know, not laugh while he's writing this.]

Some people call me Archangel; all-around turian bad boy and dispenser of extensive lessons in cross-species diplomacy, if you get my drift. I also calibrate cannons on the side, so if anybody needs a little calibrating, I'm very good with a weapon. I always like to savor the last shot before popping the heat sink. If not, we could always test my reach and your flexibility.

Think about it.

[[ooc: All responses and this post will appear to be coming from Garrus Vakarian, the poor bastard.]]

Comments

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[calibrating]

How old are you?

[He's getting the idea that this is a kid, just based on the reaction.]

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[herofacade]

Fifteen!

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[calibrating]

Eh, you're old enough to hear a dick joke or two.

[But he's not going to troll you anymore, so at least there's that?]

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[herofacade]

[Yeah, but he's going to go on a judgmental tyraid now. Sorry, Joker. Feel free to just stop listening to him or make it worse.]

Maybe, but still. Freaking inappropriate man.

Re: text

[calibrating]

[And the number of fucks that Joker gives at this point are approximately zero.]

And here come the fun police.

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[herofacade]

Hey, I'm fun! Just, seriously. Kids read this thing from what I get. They don't need to see. Well. That.

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[calibrating]

See, all I'm reading here is 'blah blah blah killjoy' and 'blah blah blah I hate fun'. Loosen up a little, kid.

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[herofacade]

I am plenty loose, thanks. Looser than I could ever be. And I'm tons of fun!