twinkletwinklelittlestar: (☄ petting invisible cat)
[大谷 吉継] Ōtani Yoshitsugu ([personal profile] twinkletwinklelittlestar) wrote in [community profile] piratejournal2015-02-17 09:36 pm

☄ written (and/or action, if you so desire)

[It has taken nearly a week, but Yoshitsugu's hopes that all of this is nothing but an unwelcome dream have dwindled. He's kept mostly to himself, making the hostel his temporary home and leaving only a handful of times, unsure of what to do, but disorientation has given way to anger now (and a sense of personal loss, though he knows not why). Everything he worked for--his dream--had come to fruition, only for it to be taken from him in the blink of an eye. He is through with being idle.

There is proof enough that the journal is more than just that, so in script that is as beautiful in spite of a trembling hand, he writes:]


I've no doubt this has been asked before, but is there any reason to believe this mysterious gem that supposedly grants wishes actually exists? If it is indeed real, I find it quite difficult to believe it comes without a price. To be told that it's possible to accomplish whatever you like simply by making a wish would arouse suspicion in even the greatest of fools, one would think. Surely there's more to it if people are actually looking for it.

[It's not like him to express anything that resembles his actual thoughts, but until he gets his footing here, he'll have to from time to time. Not that he intends to be here long enough to become established to any degree, but he gets the impression that may be out of his hands.]

I'd also like to know if I'm wrong to assume that there's little hope of returning home through any other means. I have some important business I must get back to. I'd rather not dally unnecessarily.

[ooc: yoshitsugu can be found wandering around town for a while trying to put things together if you'd rather do action! an especially observant person might get the impression that there are some intense, possibly conflicted emotions lurking beneath the surface at the moment. otherwise, he'll come off relatively calm and put together.]
curseking: (how could this happen 2 me)

[voice]

[personal profile] curseking 2015-02-26 05:49 am (UTC)(link)
You told me... that everything was for my sake.

[The Gyoubu he remembers was always trying to advise him. Though Mitsunari didn't always heed his advice, he knew he would never purposefully try and steer him wrong.

Gyoubu drove Mitsunari ever forward towards revenge against Ieyasu. His guidance and support were invaluable. Together, there was no question their efforts -- their mutual hatred of one man -- would amount to something. Catharsis. Justice.

They fought side by side, as comrades and friends.

He didn't always understand Gyoubu, and he couldn't always tell what he was thinking, sure, but... he had enough faith in him that it didn't matter. Whatever Gyoubu had on his mind, surely, it had nothing to do with betrayal. He always knew Gyoubu was on his side.

It shouldn't tear up his insides to recall these things.]


...I don't...

[Audible through the journal is the sound of Mitsunari suddenly slamming his fist against something, hard.]

I don't know! What am I supposed to believe?!
curseking: (HISS SNARL GROWL)

[voice]

[personal profile] curseking 2015-02-27 07:01 am (UTC)(link)
[There is perhaps an argument to be made that if Gyoubu already does things Mitsunari doesn't approve of, there is plenty of reason to wonder what he does when Mitsunari doesn't have an eye on him.

That is not the argument Mitsunari chooses to make right now, because Mitsunari's temper is currently informing his decisions.]


I was not lied to! Silence!

[He cannot refrain from exclaiming as much this time. Anger, hurt, confusion; they're all mixing together inside Mitsunari to create a general state of turmoil. And with Mitsunari, these kinds of feelings only build and build until they reach the boiling point.]

In another world -- you and Motonari are guilty! And for allowing you to mar your hands with betrayal, so am I!

[It's the first he's thought to mention the other worlds -- the crux of his uncertainty.]

You may be the Gyoubu that I know, yet you may be the Gyoubu who has gone behind my back, casting us both into sin!

[There is only one upside to that terrible possibility, and it is the chance to ask him why.]
curseking: (stubbed my toe today it's ieyasu's fault)

[voice]

[personal profile] curseking 2015-02-28 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
[There it is again -- Gyoubu sounding genuinely confused. And maybe it doesn't count for much and it may not mean anything at all in the long run, but this, he's sure, is not a feigned reaction.

Mitsunari is not the best person to be explaining anything to do with alternate worlds, because he himself hardly understands. He doesn't even know where to start.

He will try his best.]


Motochika and I hail from different worlds. In his, Motonari and yourself are responsible for the destruction of Shikoku.

[He speaks impatiently, as in his mind, having said this once already is enough -- though the hint that Motochika is here in this world is new.]

And the both of you... are dead.

[He will at least give that a moment to sink in.]

I remember you alive and well, Gyoubu. Motonari lives too.

[He pauses.]

There was once another man calling himself Chousokabe Motochika. ...And Akechi Mitsuhide. The only thing he had in common with the Akechi Mitsuhide of our world... was the incident at Honnou-ji.

[This gave credence to the idea that even across vastly different worlds, certain major events might remain the same.]

...Neither still reside in this world.

[He adds as an afterthought.

There is more to say, of course, but he stops here for now.]
curseking: ("bloody angel".......)

[voice]

[personal profile] curseking 2015-03-01 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
Without question.

[There is not a trace of doubt in his voice.

Spend enough time in a place like this and the impossible becomes plausible. Like magic gems and impermanent death and little mechanical birds that can convey the final words of those who have died, alternate worlds with alternate selves went from something he could not ever conceive of to something that was, while difficult to understand, a fact of reality all the same.

It's the possibility of reaching another world and another time that has pushed Mitsunari forward ever since he arrived, and kept him from collapsing beneath the impossibility of satisfying his revenge so long as he remains here.

A world where Ieyasu's betrayal is foiled and Hideyoshi lives...

He was never able to so much as dream of anything like that back home. Its impossibility made it too painful. The only dream filling his mind was the vindictive vision of Ieyasu lying dead, defeated, and abandoned in a pool of his own blood.

These days there's more than just vengeance occupying his mind and he's still not really used to it. He's capable of feeling hope once again, and --

And right now Mitsunari is reminded how ridiculous it is to acknowledge hope's willingness to betray you, only to allow it to get close enough it could deliver a critical blow if it wished.

He is a fool. He knows it.

He can't help it.]


If you understand... you know why I hesitate to trust you.
curseking: (headtilt #1)

[voice]

[personal profile] curseking 2015-03-01 02:17 pm (UTC)(link)
If he were mistaken... he would have killed you for nothing.

[That thought is sudden and horrifying enough that he needs a moment to digest it. The way Gyoubu sounds does not help matters any. Mitsunari has always been a man devoid of pity, but that kind of broken voice should not be coming from Gyoubu. Anyone but Gyoubu.]

Motochika... has not one shred of uncertainty.

[The fact remains that he has never seen Motochika have even the slightest instance of doubt regarding Gyoubu and Motonari's involvement.

He doesn't recall the more specific details of their first conversation about it, but some key things he remembers.]


...He said... he came to Osaka Castle himself.

He spoke with you.

[Mitsunari had asked about that, back then. He'd been worried, wanting to know what had become of Gyoubu after that meeting.

He found out, of course.

It wasn't what he'd wanted to hear.

The truth is still better than a lie, no matter how ugly that truth may be.]


...I do not know... what you spoke of.

[He only knows that the exchange must have gone fairly differently from the conversation that lead to the other Mitsunari's absolution.]
Edited (minor wording stuff) 2015-03-01 14:22 (UTC)
curseking: (he loved hideyoshi FIVE ever)

[voice]

[personal profile] curseking 2015-03-02 09:19 am (UTC)(link)
He despises you.

[In other, more tactful words, he's not sure. Mitsunari has heard for himself precisely what Motochika thinks of Gyoubu and knows that dialog between them, never mind civil dialog, may very well be asking for the impossible.

But now that Gyoubu has suggested it... he wants Motochika speak with him, to at least try, just as Mitsunari himself is doing now. As long as the possibility exists that this Gyoubu is the same man he trusted so deeply, he believes they cannot simply write him off.

It's a rarity for Mitsunari to champion the idea of communication over sending apparent traitors to their bloody and brutal deaths. These are not ordinary circumstances.]


...Try.

If he does not permit it...

[What can he do? What does he have the right to do? He can't blame Motochika if it turns out he'd rather not hear a word out of Gyoubu.]

...I will speak with him.

[There is a short pause, and then he adds:]

Do not take this to mean that I believe in your innocence.
Edited (wording) 2015-03-02 09:38 (UTC)
curseking: (stubbed my toe today it's ieyasu's fault)

[voice]

[personal profile] curseking 2015-03-03 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
[It is unfortunate how unlikely it is that concrete proof of anything that took place back home exists here. (You never know what you'll find in a world like this, but Mitsunari's not holding his breath.) Even if Gyoubu is truly innocent, his ability to prove it will be limited.]

To regain my trust... do not lie to me, and do not betray me.

[These are the things he'd demand of anyone whose trustworthiness is in question.]

Do not give me reason to doubt you.

[If whatever tentative faith he has in Gyoubu were damaged further, it would solidify his guilt in Mitsunari's eyes. Lie, Gyoubu, lie for your life -- ]

There is no other way than this to prove you are innocent.

As for Motochika... spare me your worry.

[However dubiously genuine it may be.]
Edited (complete necessary editing going on here) 2015-03-03 03:00 (UTC)
curseking: (how could this happen 2 me)

[voice]

[personal profile] curseking 2015-03-04 05:37 am (UTC)(link)
[He feels an impulse to tell Gyoubu that he doesn't need to be redundant and state what Mitsunari already knows.

When that thought fully processes, it's as if something sharp and searing has pierced through his chest. And when he speaks, he sounds no different from a man who's been stabbed.]


...Enough. Save it.

[It's one thing for Gyoubu to maintain his innocence and entirely another to start using the word friend.

If Gyoubu is lying, then it's the cruelest lie Mitsunari's ever heard.]


I cannot stand to hear this now.
curseking: (headtilt #1)

[voice]

[personal profile] curseking 2015-03-05 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[Mitsunari hardly registers the silence, filling it with his thoughts. He doesn't know what Gyoubu expected him to say, if anything. He doesn't know what Gyoubu is thinking.

That's the root of all his problems, isn't it? Not knowing. He didn't know Ieyasu was planning to betray the Toyotomi, he didn't know he'd be there fighting his lord that day or that he should have headed for the two of them just a little sooner, he didn't know that Gyoubu and Motonari had gone behind his back -- and he doesn't know if Gyoubu even has --

He doesn't know a damn thing, does he?

He hates it.]


...The Western Army was preparing for battle. I was soon to have Ieyasu's head when I was instead taken to this world... one year ago.

[It's strange to think that it's really been a year. Back home, he would have already found his vengeance (assuming he wouldn't have died trying instead), but perhaps it would have come at the expense of the future he's clinging to now.]

One year... The Piedra Roja is not complete, nor is Ieyasu dead.

[This world has no sympathy for impatient souls.]
curseking: (the wild mitsunari used rage)

[voice]

[personal profile] curseking 2015-03-07 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
["Tokugawa's corpse."

Ieyasu.

Ieyasu, dead. In another life, yes, but --

He did it? Some other version of himself really did it? Killed him?

The rest of Gyoubu's words sound muffled to Mitsunari's ears, as if he were listening to him from underwater. Everything else on his mind comes to a violent, screeching halt.]


...I killed him... in your world?

The Ieyasu you knew... was killed by the Mitsunari of your realm?

[Is he joking? Did he hear him correctly?

There's no precedent for how to react to this. It isn't his vengeance. It's not his Ieyasu.

But --

He is Ieyasu all the same. Isn't he?

The wind has been knocked right out of Mitsunari.]


In that life, Lord Hideyoshi was avenged...? ...The lying traitor finally met his end...? And paid for his sins? Ieyasu fell to crawl upon the ground before me, like the writhing, worthless snake that he is?!

[His breathless shock gives way to the rage burning inside of him, and it crescendos as he's wrapped up in the mental image of Ieyasu's death he's concocted, and all the hateful satisfaction that comes with it.

-- He is jolted out of it as something reminds him that it's not his life.

It's not his vengeance.

And he can't trust Gyoubu.

Mitsunari takes a ragged breath and goes quiet as he tries to find his bearings.]


...If this... is a lie...

[His throat feels dry.]

Under no circumstances... none whatsoever... will I forgive you.
curseking: (headtilt #1)

[voice]

[personal profile] curseking 2015-03-09 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
[Ieyasu dying by his sword in another world is not the same thing as bringing him to justice with his own two hands -- he wants to feel the weight of his blade as he brings it down over Ieyasu's head, he wants to watch him die -- but if that event has come to pass at all, in one of the billions of universes that must exist out there, it is the reassurance he needs that once, just once, fate favored him over Ieyasu.

To give him something to believe in and then pull the rug out from underneath his feet as so many have done already would wound him at his very core.]


...Inspiring false hope... and then destroying me with it.

[Mitsunari's train of logic is something like this: Gyoubu has not yet earned his trust. He has told Mitsunari something wonderful, and it might be a lie. If he is lying, the only possible reason would be so that Gyoubu would have something he could use to hurt Mitsunari.

In the aftermath of Hideyoshi's death, he believed that Ieyasu was going out of his way to sabotage him in all his endeavors. If this Gyoubu is one he cannot trust, how different can one traitor's motivations be from another? Hurting him for the sake of hurting him is reason enough, isn't it? Isn't his suffering something to be gained?

...It is only a possibility.

He could be telling the truth.

The Gyoubu he knows would never lie to him about this.]
Edited (COMPLETELY NECESSARY) 2015-03-09 02:37 (UTC)
curseking: (the wild mitsunari used rage)

[voice]

[personal profile] curseking 2015-03-10 10:42 am (UTC)(link)
[It seems contradictory. It has to be. If the wicked Gyoubu in Motochika's world cared about him, why would he make himself responsible for the one thing Mitsunari hates most? Why would he drag Mitsunari down with him? How could he do that and still care? Unless, what, he thought he was helping?

Did he think he was helping?

This thought is the kind that springs to mind when it's least expected and especially unwanted, just like all those little instances where he found himself wondering if Ieyasu had ever really cared at some point, ever really was his friend, and if something had gone differently then maybe --

He kills those thoughts and he'll kill this thought too, but not before it can tear at the weakest part of him.]


That cannot -- Stop --

[That cannot be, because a world where he (where either of them) cared but still went on to betray him is worse than one where it was all a lie from the very beginning.]

Don't say any more!

[For a command, it sounds awfully close to a plea. His voice is strained.]

[voice]

[personal profile] curseking - 2015-03-11 06:59 (UTC) - Expand