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I guess I don't really. Also I said I didn't care about stupid girls to the old lady.

[Yeah, oops, his temper really did get the best of him.]

See? "Stupid girls"? "Old lady"? Of course she's gonna make you into a chick so you can see how complicated it is for them. Chicks are sensitive like that.

Really? Do you know a lot about girls Jesse?

[He sounds intrigued. Roxas never thought about how girls felt..or many other people for that matter, regardless of gender.]

What else can you tell me?

Um... well, sure, I'd say I do. Whaddya wanna know?

What makes girls sensitive? Like, why do you say that? Also they move funny, how come? Is there some trick to working this bra thing?

[Jesse did ask if he had questions. It's likely only the beginning.]

[Heeeeeeeere we go.]

Well, girls are sensitive because... they just seem to feel their emotions more. Like, they get sad more easy, they're more easily offended, they just feel a lot more strong than a guy does. Everything is about feelings. And they want you to know what they're feeling all the time, even though guys think differently than girls do.

And girls move funny because they don't have dicks. So their legs are put on different. The trick to working the bra is to put it on backwards first so you can get the hooky things and then turn it around. And make sure the straps aren't so tight that it makes your sides look all fat. That's what my one girlfriend said.

Edited 2014-10-24 02:21 (UTC)

Huh, maybe that's why Selphie got mad at me...

[He sounds puzzled.] I'm not good with emotions though. I don't really get them? I can't even name them all, all the ones I have. I'm trying though. Lea says I can't see anything past my face. I don't like that.

[He's nodding, but Jesse can't see him.]

I guess that makes sense. It's still really weird not to have one. I'm just used to it.

That might help! A girl sent me some clothes too, so that's good. Why did my hair get long? Are girls weaker than boys? Because my keyblades feel kinda heavy...

Well, then you're gonna be really confused with emotions for a while, yo. You might wanna try and write things out. Might help.

Girls aren't weaker than boys, but their muscles are different- like, you can see that a girl is shaped differently from a guy, right? The muscles are put on the body in different places. So your arms can't hold the keyblades the same way, so it makes them seem heavier. Right?

[If Walt could hear him, he'd be shitting himself laughing.]

I'm always confused about it lately. That's not new though. Before I couldn't feel very much. I would feel sad or angry or happy. That was about it. Now I'm scared and things like that. It's really annoying.

Yeah, I think they just seem it. I can still swing them around so it's not like I'm a lot weaker. You think if I change how I hold them it might help? I know I need to practice because all this weird moving around is tripping me up but...

Hmmm, I wonder how I should hold them then. [Roxas thinks about it.] I've never seen a girl wield a keyblade.

[He hisses a moment.]

Ah my head hurts suddenly again! Did I know a girl who-aahhh!

[How could he have? He listed all the girls he knew, how could he have known another one? He wouldn't forget a person would he? He takes a few deep breaths and stops thinking about it, as he always does when he gets a headache.]

Sorry...something weird just happened.

Jesus, you okay? Does that happen a lot or something? Sounded like you were having a fuckin' seizure or somethin'- you need to get that checked out, yo! That's not gonna be good for your memory!

It's fine, it's fine! I didn't mean to worry you. It's...happened before.

[A few times, in fact.]

There's something I can't remember. I don't know what it is, but I know that. I don't know why I can't but it makes my head hurt if I try to remember it. I don't know if anyone can really help with that. I'm missing a lot of time, it's hard to say.

I tried real hard to remember once and I cried. Whatever it is, I think it's really sad too.

Maybe you should try like... hypnosis, or something. Isn't that what people do for repressed memories? Get somebody to hypnotize you and see if they can drag it outta you.

[Jesse is a fountain of bad advice.]

I don't know, I've never heard of anything like that. How does hypnosis work? Do you think it would help?

[There's a lot he would do to straighten out his mind.]

Does it hurt?

Uh... far as I know, somebody just talks at you and like, puts you in some kind of trance, then like, talks the memories up out of your mind. ...I think. I dunno really how it works. But it shouldn't hurt, they don't touch you or anything. People do it at parties and stuff.

Really? I'm not sure. I never did that before. Or saw it. I've been to some parties here, I watched some! I didn't really see any of the trance things though.

Well, it's up to you, yo. I just remember hearing about it on television or something. And it sounds like you got a bad case of repressed memories going on. Like, super bad.

Maybe, I'm not sure. Like I said, I don't remember.

I know people have messed around in my head. Naminé said something like that I think. When I left the Organization and fought Riku, they caught me and put me in Twilight Town which is like a fake place. A prison for me really, but it was just like this town I knew. When they did that, they took away my memories. All of them and I thought...I thought I belonged in the fake place.

She said she was taking Sora's memories back from me, but I don't know, I see them a lot.

...Oh.

That kinda sounds more like, uh, brainwashing. Which is bad. You know that's bad, right?

I don't know if it's brainwashing or not, but she took all my memories and I thought I was this normal guy with these freinds, but then weird things started to happen and Axel showed up...

[He sighs softly.]

In the end when I saw DiZ and, and before I fought Axel I got my memories back. I remember the things I knew from then and some of my memories from before in the Organization. That was just before I came here. But like I said, there's stuff I don't remember, it's really confusing.

[Jesse has no idea what any of that means, Roxas!]

Yeah, someone taking your memories and telling you you're someone else sounds like brainwashing to me, yo. Whatever their reason is. No one should be messing around with that shit, ever.

[That's because Roxas started in the middle of the story.]

I guess so, but I think it's because I don't matter. I mean, like I said, it's all about Sora. I was supposed to disappear back into Sora, but I came here instead.

[Frustration is building.]

Look, I've never met this Sora guy. Why the hell should it all be about him? You seem like a straight up guy to me- and you sure as hell do matter. You matter to plenty of people. Doesn't the fact that people would be sad if you disappeared mean you matter?

That's a good question. I don't really know. I know it mattered to Axel a lot. He was looking for me. He...back then before we fought I didn't think it would matter if I disappeared. It would have mattered to him though. I know that now.

[He sighs softly.]

At home, he was the only one though. Everyone else is waiting for Sora.

Still. One person is one person, right? That's enough. That means you matter to someone. If you matter to someone, then you matter.

I-I know. I know that now. I just didn't believe it then. I don't know what would have happened if I left with Axel. He was supposed to take me back to the Organization so they could destroy me. I don't know if he would have though.

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