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[Voice] / [Action for Friend Ship of Justice]

I'm not sure what happened.

[He clears his throat.]

I sound funny, my hair isn't spikey anymore and I don't really know where I am. I went to sleep last night with my parrot at my feet but I woke up alone in a weird place.

Am I lost in dream?

[Action for the Friend Ship of Justice crew]

[You can expect Roxas wandering around, rubbing his eyes sleepily and trying to figure out where he is because this is clearly not the Hazmat ship.]

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I don't! How would you like it if I told you I didn't want you here?!

[Aw come on Lea, he was winding down, but that comment just made him bristle.]

Fine, I'll take that in the best way possible, which still amounts to you not wanting me there. See? Now I'm really happy about it! Is that better?!

I didn't want you here because I was afraid I'd screw up! How many times do I have to say that?!

Yeah, I'm so happy I'm about to burst. Fine, it has nothing to with me, right?

[It's not helping that this body seems to be wired to accept emotional responses differently. Lea scrubs at his eyes before continuing.]

Sorry for having parts of my world that don't revolve around you, Your Highness. You have any more complaints to lodge while I'm here?

I- [He cuts himself off, takes a deep breath and exhales.]

You know what? You win. Have all the world that has nothing to do with me you want Lea. Should be a lot less of a hassle for you.

Sorry I felt really bad for you and wanted to help. Don't worry about it, I'm over all of that.

[Wow, it's not fun at all being torn between being devastated that it seems like he's well and truly wrecked things this time or being pissed as hell that, despite everything he's said, Roxas is still somehow managing to make it all about him. Well, if the former is the true, nothing is keeping him from addressing the latter.]

You are not. a. hassle. You are not. a. burden. This isn't. about. you. For the last time, get over yourself and listen to me!

[He doesn't believe Lea at all, and Lea making pointed comments about him is absolutely about him but Roxas is tired. There's a small sniffling noise, but when he speaks again, his voice is completely even, the tone quiet.]

I'm listening, Lea.

[Lea takes a deep breath and lets it out. He really doesn't know how to explain it in any other way than he already has. The one time he says he's going somewhere Roxas shouldn't follow, Roxas throws a giant tantrum about it. At least in the Organization, he'd accept that was something that had to happen sometimes. How many times has he let Roxas go without complaint only to be totally vilified for it later? How pathetic is he that he keeps letting this happen?]

I don't know what else you want me to say. I told you why I said what I did, I told you that I changed my mind about it, so what else is there? You can report back to Marco and Selphie that you got the fight you wanted. I'm sure they'll be happy to hear about it.

[He isn't the only one at a loss for what to say here. There he is again, taking a dig at Roxas.]

I'm not going to report back to anyone.

[Deep, slow breaths. Closing his eyes.]

Okay Lea. You didn't want to screw up because of how you behave around me. Alright.

[Progress made: zero.]

Roxas...

[For the love of...]

You really have no idea what my missions were, do you?

[Roxas was just repeating what Lea wanted him to know. Was he wrong in some way?]

No, I don't think you ever told me that.

Yeah, for a reason. Humor me for a sec, okay, since you're so convinced I should let you come with: what do you think I did?

I don't know Lea. [He sighs heavily.] Intel gathering?

[Geez, he really has no idea.]

I go on a mission that takes out a third of the Organization and come back without a scratch and you don't even get suspicious?

[No wonder this has been so difficult.]

I gathered intel, yeah, but on the rest of the Organization. I had my orders from Xemnas to root out traitors and, try not to laugh, I got the same job from Marluxia after I infiltrated the group at Castle Oblivion. Then there were the orders from Saïx to do whatever it took to keep him high up there in the chain of command and dig up dirt on what Xemnas was hiding in the castle. That's a lot of work for one guy. Good thing Sora and Riku showed up at the castle because I'm not sure I woulda been able to find the time to kill all those guys personally. [Making it clear that some of the kills had been his or at least he was responsible for them.]

[He sighs and his voice becomes more hesitant when he speaks.]

And...I wanted to keep you safe, too. [It seems like there was someone else, too, but that's not right...] That didn't always fit in with the rest of it. It was like having to be four or five different people at the same time when I wasn't even one complete person. One little mistake and I was toast, Saïx might be toast, you might be... There was no room for failure. I mean, I still screwed it up in the end, but it was for the right reasons...

[To be fair while Lea was gone on that mission, Roxas spent most of his time in a coma. He didn't really have time to wonder where Lea had gone to or what happened to him. He just remembered Lea coming back and being happy about it. The way Lea talks about it, it isn't with fondness in his heart and it isn't something he seemed to like. He sounded burdened and stressed. Roxas should have realized it. After all, the one they sent to kill him was Axel.

Despite the total lack of emotional response in the last little while, Lea is treated instead with a muffled sob.]

Why...?

[Roxas chokes out, but he can't finish the question just yet. He tries taking deep shuddering breaths.]

Because we wanted to get our hearts back.

[That's all there was to it. They were both prepared to do anything it took, but now it was looking like that might have doomed Isa to losing his forever.]

Not that!

[Roxas can't help the sudden onslaught of volume coming out of him. He tries again, not yelling anymore and with sadness in his voice.]

Why would you come here and try and do that stuff again?

[He sniffles a bit.]

Why were you trying to hurt yourself?! Doesn't it hurt you to do those things?

Lea..you don't have to.

[Roxas, why are you not here when he needs to hug you?]

I know. I don't know if this heart is my old one or a new one, because I kinda feel like I had to break it in a bit before I got it to work right. I...I don't think I realized how much had changed after I left this stupid boat. I'm not coming back here again.

[He pauses, then decides that, what the hell, it's Honesty Night.]

I don't want you to, either.

[He sniffles a few times and lets out another sob before he really gets his emotions under control. This whole having a heart business is a lot stronger than he's used to.]

You don't have to go back there Lea.

[Roxas takes a deep breath.]

I..can't promise that. But if I visit, I'll be okay. I can't break my heart, right?

[Roxas tries to make it sound cheerful, encouraging and lighthearted. He is not terribly successful, but Lea might overlook it. He hopes. He curls up in Guy's sleeping space, his head resting on the open pages so he doesn't miss anything Lea says.]

[You came pretty close to breaking his.]

Not funny. Don't think I missed them trying to rile you up. Listen, Roxas, I'm not stopping you, but...

[Things went a step farther than he's comfortable with this time.]

[Roxas frowns a little bit.]

I wasn't mad because of them.

[He sucks in a breath.]

We're not talking about me though.

[Roxas, you're stubborn and overly literal at the worst times.]

Ban's lifted. Free talk time. No more excuses.

Okay...

[He's still quiet though, uncertain.]

What am I supposed to tell you?

Whatever it is you're not telling me. You're kinda obvious when you're hiding something.

[Another reason why you weren't coming on this trip.]

It's nothing. We went over it. I was really upset with you and it wasn't about me so...

[He shrugs a little, although Lea can't see. He might be able to hear it.]

I thought you didn't want me around because you didn't think I could help. [He frowns a little.] I could...see that. You don't ever get captured.

Someday I won't be a....a problem.

[A liability he means, and he hopes that's true.]

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