piratejournal | [voice, mostly] and always action to Straw Hats

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[voice, mostly] and always action to Straw Hats

Out of curiosity, has anybody figured out a...I don't know, an antidote or something to protect people from losing their damn minds every other month? By now I've seen enough bizarre behavior, it'd be nice to find some kind of immunity to that.

...not that we can predict when it happens.

Which reminds me. Ace, you ever send Luffy something like that again and I'll come over there next. You don't want me to come over there.

[some time later, he adds, scrawled on the bottom of the page as if he forgot that he can't write notes to himself on this journal...]

Needs more treasure. I need those weights.

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...No, I meant—

[Gestures all huffily at the sake bottle.]

I was getting it out for you anyway, might as well. It's not keeping you company. Hmph.

[snorts. Whatever, cook.]

...guess it's my fault you don't have tea.

Damn straight it's your fault!

[Sips more sake.]

...Which, by the way, that was a really fucking bizarre thing to watch. Looking back. You hoarding my damn tea.

I don't even like black tea all that much. It feels odd, remembering that I hated the taste of booze even though I know I don't.

I like black tea.

[Peers mournfully into his glass for a second, before sighing.]

It feels odd knowing I was swooning over you idiots. [Gets a haunted look suddenly.] I called Celestia-san a shitty horse.

You called Robin ugly.

[not that he needs even more guilt]

It was odd for us too, you know.

[WELL, now he just looks horrified.]

Fucking hell, I did. And that ain't even true, she's beautiful, why would I say something like that?? She didn't hear, right?!

[MINI FREAK OUT.

But he looks back at Zoro before he can get too worked up, only to let his gaze dart away again immediately as he scratches the back of his head.]

Ehh... Yeah, I can...imagine.

Far as I know, no. [draining his glass and reaching for the bottle to refill it. He's going to need a lot if they keep talking.]

Watching you twirl at the girls is annoying enough, don't ever do it to me again.

[His shoulders slump in relief, though he shoots Zoro a look that's a mix of exasperated and faintly annoyed.]

Believe me, marimo, that ain't something I ever plan on doing again. That kinda treatment is for ladies only to show 'em I'm interested.

[He shudders.]

Feels creepy doing it to guys.

[snorts into his sake] Not that it's getting you anywhere with women either.

[Huffs and crosses his arms.]

It's more likely to work on a girl, though. Kinda defeats the purpose if it's just gonna send guys running the opposite way. Or diving into a shitty pot of tea to escape.

[this time he's diving into his glass of sake to escape, though]

Of course I wanted to escape, it was creepy! [not that he minded being treated well, given the nice things and waited on. It's the hearts and flowers that he couldn't take] I told you, I'm not interested in that bullshit.

[Just rolls his eyes, moving to refill his own glass and then retreating back a bit to lean against the counter.]

Yeah, yeah. And I told you, that's not something I'd break out and use on you anyway so you don't gotta worry about it, geez. Talk about a monumental waste of shitty energy.

Good. As long as we're clear.

[he sulks into his sake, completely unable to express himself further than that. He doesn't want to give the cook the satisfaction.]

Crystal.

[Though...he tips his head a little, watching Zoro for a moment before speaking in a dry tone.]

Try not to look too thrilled about it or anything.

I don't have to be bouncing off the damn walls like Luffy to be happy. [grump grump grouch]

[Raises an eyebrow.]

If this is happy, then someone fucked up somewhere. Maybe you're defective.

[Looks away, taking a gulp of sake and mumbling into his glass:]

Not that I can get a read on you anyway.

[shoots him a one-eyed glare] I am not defective.

Would you rather I wore my heart on my sleeve like you do?

[SOMETIMES, YES, MAYBE, HE DOESN'T THINK IT WOULD NECESSARILY BE A BAD THING ARGH—]

No. But you could be less of a shitty brick wall.

Why should I? [he never thought of himself as a mystery but if it vexes Sanji, he's certainly not going to stop being stoic]

[Just kinda stares at him for a moment, all grumpy and frowny looking, then he grits his teeth and looks away, scrubbing a hand through his hair.]

I dunno. No reason, I guess.

[Downs the rest of his drink before setting the glass in the sink harder than is probably necessary. He goes over to pull the fridge door open and proceeds to blankly look at what it has to offer.]

What do you want for dinner?

[it's not obvious, but his eye does follow the cook, as he sits there wondering why it's so important for Sanji to be able to read him. This bears much more thinking]

I'm not picky. Whatever you've got.

[sipping so casually at his sake]

Do we need to do more fishing or anything?

[Ignores that question in favor of banging his head against the fridge door.]

Seriously? You give me all this shit about being an idiot for doting on the ladies and giving 'em what they want but you can't even pick a friggin' meal when I do ask you!

[Whips around to glare at him because for some reason this is very irritating, who even knows why, it's been a weird day, okay. Or week. Or couple of months, fucking shit.]

Tell me what the hell you want for dinner, dammit!

[geez, what's with the hostility? Zoro bristles right back at him for interrupting his quiet enjoyment of his booze]

I don't care! You're the cook, make something good!

EVERYTHING I MAKE IS GOOD!

[Pissy McGrouchypants over here suddenly, shoving his hands into his pockets and scowling at Zoro as he throws random dinner suggestions at him like they're attacks.]

Sushi? Barbecue chicken? Steaks?? Spicy seafood pasta?! Tempura??! Name something, asshole!

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