piratejournal | [voice, mostly] and always action to Straw Hats

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[voice, mostly] and always action to Straw Hats

Out of curiosity, has anybody figured out a...I don't know, an antidote or something to protect people from losing their damn minds every other month? By now I've seen enough bizarre behavior, it'd be nice to find some kind of immunity to that.

...not that we can predict when it happens.

Which reminds me. Ace, you ever send Luffy something like that again and I'll come over there next. You don't want me to come over there.

[some time later, he adds, scrawled on the bottom of the page as if he forgot that he can't write notes to himself on this journal...]

Needs more treasure. I need those weights.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[geez, what's with the hostility? Zoro bristles right back at him for interrupting his quiet enjoyment of his booze]

I don't care! You're the cook, make something good!

EVERYTHING I MAKE IS GOOD!

[Pissy McGrouchypants over here suddenly, shoving his hands into his pockets and scowling at Zoro as he throws random dinner suggestions at him like they're attacks.]

Sushi? Barbecue chicken? Steaks?? Spicy seafood pasta?! Tempura??! Name something, asshole!

Of course everything you make is good, that's why I don't care!

[whoops didn't mean to compliment.]

What part of 'I don't have a preference' isn't getting through your damn thick head?

[he's not nearby or anything but he can hear them-- mostly cuz the dinner question perked him up... but he listens to them and smiles to himself as he rests on the prow of the Merrily, his cheek pushed against the wood.

They really get along for them.

It makes him happy]

[Freezes up a little, eyes going wide as his face grows warm. He quickly turns his back on Zoro in an attempt to hide it, peering into the fridge again and forcing himself to refrain from just sticking his entire damn head into the freezer.

After half a beat, he reaches for a large platter of sea beast meat.]

[Dammit. He didn't mean to shut the cook up quite like that. Zoro flops back into his chair and busies himself draining most of the bottle of sake. It'll give him a good appetite, at least.

He's sure he caught Sanji blushing, and the silence is rather telling.]

[Grabs some vegetables, as well, then moves on to the cabinets and pulls out a huge bag of white rice. He situates everything on one of the counters except for the vegetables, which he turn to drop onto the table in front of Zoro instead. A knife follows, and he speaks in a gruff tone.]

Here, shitty broccoli head. Chop the broccoli.

[he looks up at the appearance of the knife]

Huh? Me?

[what is this sorcery. The cook never lets anyone touch his knives, let alone the food. Zoro has never prepared food in his entire life, this is way outside his area of expertise. So, he's going to stare at Sanji instead.]

You see anyone else around here who matches that description?

[Stares right back at him. 8|]

Well? You use the sharp side, come on, I hear you're familiar with the shitty things. And vegetables don't fight back. I think you can manage it.

[He still can't figure out why this is happening, but he'll rise to the challenge. Of course he can use sharp things to cut other things! Broccoli, though...

The knife will be fine, but the food, not so much. He can't figure out exactly how to chop it up in a manner which the cook would consider "proper," so in short order there are hilariously uneven chunks of vegetable scattered all over, big thick pieces of the woody stem and little crumbled bits of the florets. This is an affront to cooking happening right here.]

[.......Holy shit what even. Sanji was going to get started on the rest of the meal, but he gets distracted watching in utter bemusement. He can't even get mad, though, the WTF look on his face just steadily growing as Zoro butchers the broccoli. Another moment more and he snorts out a muffled laugh, his head falling forward.]

Are you really this fucking useless?

What? [super-annoyed by being laughed at] I'm not a cook, what do you want?

Nothing, nothing.

[Waves it off, trying to force his grin away and failing kinda miserably. He moves to get the fish prepared and start on the rice.]

It'll be edible all the same, just don't drop any on the floor.

[pouting considerably more, now. Clearly he did it wrong but he doesn't know how or why, so all he can do is be irritable]

What was the point of that, anyway? Just so you could laugh at me?

[Shrugs, working some fancier knife work as he slices the sea beast.]

Wasn't one. Figured as long as you were sitting there, you could help.

[he watches, knowing full well that the cook is just as skilled with those knives as he is with his blades, but in totally different ways. How dumb. Because he can't admit his fail without losing face in front of Sanji, even moreso than he already has. Dammit.]

Next time I'll take my bottle and go drink somewhere else.

[Gets the fish in the oven in record time, then glances back at Zoro with a grin.]

Yeah, take your bottle, you big baby. Why are you pouting? So it ain't pretty, not like you completely damaged it.

[Grabs some more veggies like carrots and celery and brings them over to the table, sitting across from him and snatching up the knife.]

Dumbass. Watch.

[Proceeds to chop away using precise, quick strokes, though not anywhere near his usual speed, with his hands of course in the proper positions.]

Shut up, damn curly-cook.

[His eye is on those hands, naturally, but it just looks like chopping. If there's technique, he can't see it. Yet somehow Sanji's vegetables all come out in perfect slices, all the same size and looking pretty. Zoro would be jealous if he cared.]

...and?

[Flips the knife around, holding the handle out to him.]

And I wanna see if you can do it.

Why?

[it's an honest question, no accusing tone here.]

You don't need anyone's help in the kitchen.

I don't need it, no. But Keimi-chan helps me sometimes. And Robin-chan doesn't mind lending a hand. ...Or two or three. Usopp used to tinker with his shit in the galley all the time when I was cooking, and if I didn't think Luffy would swipe half the damn food, he'd be in here all day.

[BASICALLY...he doesn't mind other people hanging around...sometimes. If the company isn't terrible. Ahem.]

You're not tinkering, you're sitting there guzzling up all the booze. That ain't free, it comes with a price, and the price is you gotta make yourself useful.

[Still pointedly holding the knife out.]

[looks from him to the knife and back again]

I don't want to learn to cook.

[there has to be something else he can do to be useful. Or, he'll just get up and take his leave. Either way, he plans to avoid making Sanji laugh at him again.]

[Frowns a little, looking stubborn.]

It's prep work, barely even counts as cooking. It's not like I'm gonna force a shitty chef's hat on you.

[But Zoro's clearly not making any move to take the knife back, so Sanji huffs and relents after a moment.]

Ugh, fine.

[He'll just chop up the rest himself then, hmph.]

[Nope, standing his ground on this one. Not that he's not watching; Sanji's skill is like magic to him, he sometimes pays attention but still can't figure out how the pile of ingredients turns into tasty food. Magic, seriously.]

I wouldn't have thought you would even want my help.

Yeah, well.

[Finishes with the celery and sweeps that plus all of the uneven broccoli chunks into a bowl that he totally brought with him to the table, then moves on to the carrots.]

That was obviously a momentary lapse of judgment on my part.

[voice, mostly] and always action to Straw Hats

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