Warning: Isabela. May be inappropriate for anybody.

[shipper_on_deck]

[written]

I know that we're all worried about the Navy swooping down and carrying everybody off, [but come on, let's face it. The ocean is a really big place. What are the chances? Also she's got three mages on board.] but I have an extremely important question for everybody:

What's another word you'd use for 'penis?'

While you get points for effort, the following won't count: dick, schlong, salty dog, mast, rudder, yardarm, sausage, bratwurst, the girthy bratwurst, Hassarian's Spear, one eyed snake/viper/python/what-have-you, a battering ram, bushwhacker, the two-handed sword of righteousness, the hammer of pelvic punishment, and the deep-veined purple-helmeted spartan of love.

[somebody get this woman a thesaurus]

Comments

[shipper_on_deck]

[there might be some sniggering on this end]

'The bald headed yoghurt slinger.' I like that one. And I'm surprised I haven't seen 'long dong silver' yet, given how much dirty novels seem to like pirates.

I'm always receptive to more, if you can give it. [hah. /shades]

[stolenmemories]

I found 'long dong silver' in a romance novel once, I think the writer was grasping at straws by that point in their writing though.

I have a few more for you, they're more obscure though: Heat-seeking love missile, super secret agent hosepipe, bread in the basket, my other head, meat thermometer, trouser trout, tonsil tickler, and pocket rocket.

[shipper_on_deck]

[yup. She's not altogether certain what half of those refer to, but she'll dutifully copy them down anyway.]

It only makes it all the more hilarious when writers take themselves seriously when writing like that. And it actually makes for a decent enough drinking game.

[stolenmemories]

[A few people should get them, at least people not from anywhere medieval.]

A drinking game based on a novel? That's something I haven't seen yet. How does that usually turn out?

[shipper_on_deck]

[hey, at least they know how to sail a ship!]

Surprisingly well, if you find a novel that's terrible enough and if you take turns reading from it in the most dramatic voice possible.

[stolenmemories]

[Oh, low blow, at least Kasumi was smart enough to ask for help so they didn't crash or blow anything up.]

I can see that actually working with a few books I've already found. I don't think too many locals here can read from what I've seen.

[shipper_on_deck]

If books aren't that hard to come by, then I'd guess that there are enough of them that booksellers can make a living.

[Thedas seems to be remarkably literate, all other things aside]

I haven't had the chance to pick up any myself, so I'll just have to make do. [with writing up her own]

[stolenmemories]

I didn't say I was acquiring them legally, that would just be a waste of out limited resources.

If I run into you I can lend you a few of the better ones, and one that I'm pretty sure was written by a drunken parrot.

[Mostly because Kasumi can never be normal about acquiring items. Such a klepto.]

[shipper_on_deck]

[nah man, Isabela totally understands that sort of mentality]

I'll take up that offer. You bring the books and I'll bring the booze.

[yup. You're totes invited to any future drunken dramatic readings she'll be hosting.]

[stolenmemories]

Sounds like the best plan I've heard in a while, do you have a name or am I just going to call you the novel pirate?

[Kasumi will be there, just for the blackmail purposes if nothing else.]