Warning: Isabela. May be inappropriate for anybody.

[shipper_on_deck]

[written]

I know that we're all worried about the Navy swooping down and carrying everybody off, [but come on, let's face it. The ocean is a really big place. What are the chances? Also she's got three mages on board.] but I have an extremely important question for everybody:

What's another word you'd use for 'penis?'

While you get points for effort, the following won't count: dick, schlong, salty dog, mast, rudder, yardarm, sausage, bratwurst, the girthy bratwurst, Hassarian's Spear, one eyed snake/viper/python/what-have-you, a battering ram, bushwhacker, the two-handed sword of righteousness, the hammer of pelvic punishment, and the deep-veined purple-helmeted spartan of love.

[somebody get this woman a thesaurus]

Comments

[Written] So not PG

[stolenmemories]

While they aren't terms that I've used, I have come across a few if you need to use them: Cock, wang, pork sword, divine rod, magic wand, love muscle, third leg, Captain Winky, long dong silver, the bald headed yoghurt slinger, and The D.

Do you need more?

[shipper_on_deck]

[there might be some sniggering on this end]

'The bald headed yoghurt slinger.' I like that one. And I'm surprised I haven't seen 'long dong silver' yet, given how much dirty novels seem to like pirates.

I'm always receptive to more, if you can give it. [hah. /shades]

[stolenmemories]

I found 'long dong silver' in a romance novel once, I think the writer was grasping at straws by that point in their writing though.

I have a few more for you, they're more obscure though: Heat-seeking love missile, super secret agent hosepipe, bread in the basket, my other head, meat thermometer, trouser trout, tonsil tickler, and pocket rocket.

[shipper_on_deck]

[yup. She's not altogether certain what half of those refer to, but she'll dutifully copy them down anyway.]

It only makes it all the more hilarious when writers take themselves seriously when writing like that. And it actually makes for a decent enough drinking game.

[stolenmemories]

[A few people should get them, at least people not from anywhere medieval.]

A drinking game based on a novel? That's something I haven't seen yet. How does that usually turn out?

[shipper_on_deck]

[hey, at least they know how to sail a ship!]

Surprisingly well, if you find a novel that's terrible enough and if you take turns reading from it in the most dramatic voice possible.

[stolenmemories]

[Oh, low blow, at least Kasumi was smart enough to ask for help so they didn't crash or blow anything up.]

I can see that actually working with a few books I've already found. I don't think too many locals here can read from what I've seen.

[shipper_on_deck]

If books aren't that hard to come by, then I'd guess that there are enough of them that booksellers can make a living.

[Thedas seems to be remarkably literate, all other things aside]

I haven't had the chance to pick up any myself, so I'll just have to make do. [with writing up her own]

[stolenmemories]

I didn't say I was acquiring them legally, that would just be a waste of out limited resources.

If I run into you I can lend you a few of the better ones, and one that I'm pretty sure was written by a drunken parrot.

[Mostly because Kasumi can never be normal about acquiring items. Such a klepto.]

[Written]

[redcinemareel]

What would you even need such information for?

[voice]

[yatteyanyo]

How vulgar! You know there are children who can see this?!

voice;

[slugly]

THAT DOESN'T SOUND IMPORTANT AT ALL.

[Voice]

[fierybluebird]

[Marco chuckles softly.] I like the last one best personally, but the best ones are always contextual. What do you need this for?

[shipper_on_deck]

Why wouldn't anybody need to know this?

written

[shipper_on_deck]

...you know, I bet they could come up with some pretty good ones too.

written

[shipper_on_deck]

Of course it's important. How else am I supposed to keep myself entertained?

written

[shipper_on_deck]

I'm writing the most awkward sex scene imaginable and then I'm making one of my crew read it out loud.

[shipper_on_deck]

[nah man, Isabela totally understands that sort of mentality]

I'll take up that offer. You bring the books and I'll bring the booze.

[yup. You're totes invited to any future drunken dramatic readings she'll be hosting.]

[redcinemareel]

At the moment, we could be using our time a bit more effectively than wasting it to find the many ridiculous ways to refer to a man's genitals. I'd join in, otherwise.

[Although most of what she heard/saw is impressive and...odd.]

Are you just that bored?

[shipper_on_deck]

You know, if you think about it, it could be a valuable study spanning many worlds. Bridging divides, bringing everybody closer, that sort of thing.

I'll have you know I'm performing a valuable service here. [yeah, she is totally bored. A attacking Navy ship or two wouldn't go amiss at the moment, really.]

[yatteyanyo]

Don't go asking children what they call their genitalia! Are you mad?!

[redcinemareel]

I could care less about bridging divides, when I'm far better at burning them.

You should service that girl on the Shepard crew. I bet she would love that.

[A moment later.]

No pun intended, but feel free to take it as one.

[written]

[onetrackminds]

You left out mage's staff.

voice;

[slugly]

There's plenty of other ways!

Re: [written]

[shipper_on_deck]

You missing a few adjectives.

[like "mage's staff of +3 hardiness" or something. C'mon, get with the program, Anders.]

[shipper_on_deck]

A long wolf, hm?

Service? In what manner?

[give a full and complete description, please]

[shipper_on_deck]

It would probably be something boring like "pee-pee" but you never know! They could've picked up things from their parents.

written

[shipper_on_deck]

Like what? Nothing is on fire and nobody has gotten their mage robes caught in the rigging, last I checked.

[redcinemareel]

I made no mention of a long wolf. I'm not sure where you're pulling that from.

Really, the person asking about synonyms for penises and you can't even understand my reference? I'm not even going to bother with explaining!

[Is this person serious? Grell finds this amusing.]

voice

[slugly]

... That's how you entertain yourself?

[yatteyanyo]

I'm not having this conversation! -And she finally manages to slam her book shut. Congrats, Isabella you have scandalized one (1) centuries old ghost of a noblewoman. All in a day's work.-

[shipper_on_deck]

[whoops, typo

There's a bit of an eyeroll at that.]

Sounds rather like you're incapable of explaining. And filling in the juicy details.

[sheesh, does she have to do everything herself?]

written

[shipper_on_deck]

Not the fire part, particularly, but sending mages up the rigging always has its perks.

[redcinemareel]

[oh...it was an appropriate typo...]

Trying to goad me into explaining by insulting my so called "incapability' of explaining is cute.

Annoying, but cute.

You'll have to ask someone else to entertain your immaturity.

[Yes, she'll have to do things herself.]

[stolenmemories]

Sounds like the best plan I've heard in a while, do you have a name or am I just going to call you the novel pirate?

[Kasumi will be there, just for the blackmail purposes if nothing else.]

voice

[slugly]

[Considerable pause.]

Why?

written

[fierybluebird]

Definitely the last one.

And please allow me to commend you on your creative punishments. If half of my brother's crew weren't kids, and the rest would enjoy it too much, I'd be honored to take a page from your script as it were.