piratejournal | 7th rise of the phoenix ஜ Voice / Action for Spades

Entry tags:

7th rise of the phoenix ஜ Voice / Action for Spades

[His voice is heavy and a bit hoarse but still easy to understand. He has yet to hit the bottle today, but it won't take him much longer to do so.]

Soon it will be September again. Hn, when people started to vanish I thought there would be only a few of us left to see a second autumn in this world.

[Of course, that refers only to those who were the first to arrive to this world. Unfortunately he never doubted that there would still be a lot of people trapped, just... Not the same people for so long.]

Have any of you changed since you arrived here? No matter how long you have been here... Ever wonder what your people would think of you if they saw you here?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Perhaps. Or perhaps the fact that I'm the only one who has never fully hesitated to smash someone's head when I had to makes people think that the others can't do it as well. Shun is far stronger than me, but he hates to fight and harm others, so he's always holding himself back even at the cost of his own life.

[Stupid little brother.]

It is nice. And weird. I admit I was quite confused and weirded out when I had the freedom to decide which crew I wanted to join. I offered myself for recruiting but... Didn't expect to have several offers and have to pick one. I hadn't even considered the idea that more than one crew would be willing to take me.

I guess it sounds weird, but I think that before I came here, the last time I was able to freely decide something by myself, without any pressure from anywhere or anyone, was... When I decided to take my newborn baby brother with me instead of just leave him with our dead mother. [A pause.] I was five or so at the time.

[And now that he thinks of it that surely was a lot of fucking time.]

That's exactly what I meant; people would notice you if you certainly did things like that.

You seem like a dependable person! I'm not surprised that you'd be a coveted addition to a crew.

Your mother's dead? [A sad pause.] I don't know where mine is. I think she's off on an adventure, like I am right now. If she were here, though, I think she would have said something. She must be back in Japan . . . or elsewhere entirely.

With such stifling circumstances, why, I wouldn't want to go back either.

[He chuckles at her words, she's right after all, people will definitively notice that kind of thing. He had never really put on any stops so even when they first started fighting Silver Saints his "fame" had already spread thanks to having killed all of the Black Saints himself... Black Saints that had been assigned to a Gold Saint to deal with because Silver Saints weren't strong enough apparently, and he did it without his Cloth.

The memory makes him chuckle again.]

I wouldn't really consider me dependable, or at least I wouldn't advice to depend on me. The people who did so back in my world ended suffering one way or another, and some of the people here as well. Though that's not the kind of thing strangers would know or realize so I guess it makes sense I got several offers.

[He hums as he hears about her mother, he doesn't know if that's better than having a dead mother, or even if it's that different. After all, the woman isn't there for her daughter when she is needed in both cases.]

She died in childbirth, not sure if she was sick, if going into labour was too bad or if it was because we couldn't go to a hospital. Doesn't really matter either way.

[There was nothing he could have done after all.]

Mind if I ask when your mother left? Or if you know why?

Suffering? How so?

[Kodachi wondered if he was just putting himself down or if that was just the unfortunate truth of it - some people were just unlucky in life.]

I'm glad you have your brother, then. It would be sadder if you were alone.

I don't know why she left; I only have a few memories of her spending time with me and my brother. It's the same with my father, and he left to work in another country.

Wherever she is, though, I hope she's enjoying herself.

To make a series of long stories short, two of them are dead because of me... In one I was more a direct cause than in the other, but both of them depended on me and ended dead so it hardly matters. As for those who haven't ended dead... As I said Shun hates to fight, yet because of my decisions and how he depended on me he's stuck in a life of endless fighting and death. My other brother, Seiya, is in a coma and on the verge of death... There's another case, but I mentioned that to you when we first talked and would prefer to not talk about that again.

[Not when he has brothers missing and suffering God knows what at the hands of those slavers.]

So even though your parents are technically alive, you too are all alone in the world except for your brother? I'm starting to understand why you were so vexed with not getting married.

[He may not get the reasons or feelings behind that, but he can imagine that having been alone for so long and being virtually abandoned would make her want to stop being alone at all costs. He doesn't fully empathize right now, but that's only because eventually he gave up on trying to not be alone.]

[She had no idea that people could be so unfortunate and wretched, and Kodachi didn't know what to say - but she found it in herself to be sympathetic because she liked him. If she didn't know him at all and he wasn't kind to her, she couldn't have cared less; her world was small and she was a selfish girl. As it was . . .]

You and the people you care about deserve happiness.

[Ikki hit the nail on the head with his assessment of her obsession with marriage, and hearing someone else voice it was like a stab through the heart.]

I'm glad someone does, at any rate.

Heh, I don't know if I deserve it, not when I'm a direct cause or reason for all that suffering. But I agree with you on the rest, they deserve much better.

[Shun deserved more than a life of fighting when he hates it. Esmeralda deserved a live and while she didn't have a good one... At least she was alive and maybe someone else would have been able to find her and take her away from that hell. All Ikki was able to do was to make promises that he never got to fulfill because she died, and it was all his fault.]

I wouldn't be glad if I was you, I may not understand it completely or even correctly after all. For example, even though I get why you want to get married I don't see how that would fix anything. I mean, aren't your parents married? Yet look at them, each one off to God knows where. What's the point of getting married if you may end being left alone again?

It's a risk I'm willing to take.

[Her parents may not have been prime examples, but Kodachi believed in fairy tales and happily-ever-afters; if, perhaps, she and her husband loved each other enough, then they'd never want to part.]

Suit yourself. Just try to make sure the guy you marry to loves you and won't leave you alone, at least not for long. Talking about deserving happiness and something better... You also deserve that, Kodachi.

[Even if she didn't have the motivation of wanting to stop being all alone he would think the same. Women and marriage are things he will never understand, what makes them think that a mere title on the relationship will bring in a happy ending? Why do they need someone else to be happy? As he sees it, it only makes them vulnerable, open to people like his father who will come and take from them whatever they want before throwing them aside.

No one deserves that, especially not people with dreams of a happy ending -even if such a thing may be impossible.]

[There was something of a smile in her voice, and he could likely hear it.]

I know.

[She knew, of course, that she deserved happiness - and by hook or by crook, she'd get it. Somehow.]

If you say so, then I guess it will go well for you.

[It's not that he doesn't think that she can do it, but he has seen too many girls, and people in general, claiming to know those things, claiming to be ready for whatever could happen. And none of them were ever ready or really knew, or rather maybe they knew but they didn't fully understand it.

But that's her life and he's not going to nudge more than he has already.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

7th rise of the phoenix ஜ Voice / Action for Spades

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;