piratejournal | 7th rise of the phoenix ஜ Voice / Action for Spades

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7th rise of the phoenix ஜ Voice / Action for Spades

[His voice is heavy and a bit hoarse but still easy to understand. He has yet to hit the bottle today, but it won't take him much longer to do so.]

Soon it will be September again. Hn, when people started to vanish I thought there would be only a few of us left to see a second autumn in this world.

[Of course, that refers only to those who were the first to arrive to this world. Unfortunately he never doubted that there would still be a lot of people trapped, just... Not the same people for so long.]

Have any of you changed since you arrived here? No matter how long you have been here... Ever wonder what your people would think of you if they saw you here?

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Were you like that before? Before taking on the mission that made you life over ten thousand years I mean, were you able to smile and trust others?

Easily before the war that I took part in before my mission. During the war, it was only around certain people.

Change is still change, even if it means changing back to what you once were. Though I doubt I will ever fully be like what I was before my mission.

If you were able to fully be like how you were before your mission it would mean you forgot everything about that, most probably. And that's just no good, no matter what it's part of your life, a very big and important part. That kind of thing shouldn't be forgotten, no matter how bad they may have been.

[He doesn't mind forgetting the good times that much, he doesn't have that many to remember to begin with. But the bad times he wants to remember, if only so he doesn't forget why he's the way he is.]

I suppose it's a small relief, to know that even after thousands of years one can still go back to how they were, even if it's a little bit.

[Though at the moment he's not sure if it would be worth it in his case.]

It is not so much as forgetting. I do not think it would be possible for anyone to forget that kind of mission if they had to do it. It is more like fully regaining my emotions. I had to kill my own emotions in order to preform my duty and though I can feel them again, I know I can never fully experience them like I had when I was young.

[She gives a small sigh.]

But yes, it is a small comfort to know I can have a small bit of humanity again.

You had to kill them all? Or are you referring only to the "good" ones?

Just about all of them, both good and bad. On very few occasions the feelings of frustration and surprise would slip through, but that was it. It wasn't until I met Dart and a new generation of Dragoons that I started to feel more.

I see. I would have thought that things like anger or hate would remain, but I suppose that a no emotion at all deal would be better for what you had to do, huh? Are Dragoons that rare that take thousands and thousands of years to appear?

No... Feeling hate and anger would not have been a good idea...

[Then she would have been even more of the monster that history portrayed her as.]

It was best not to feel anything in order to keep sane.

There were only seven Dragoon Spirits, and thus only seven Dragoons can appear at a time. Even then only certain individuals with very strong wills can use them. Just before I came to this world, an eighth Spirit came into existence, but that still means we are a rare kind of warrior.

Edited 2014-08-31 04:24 (UTC)

Only eight, yeah, that's definitively rare. What I still don't get is why is there such a large gap between a generation of Dragoons and another. Do Dragoons only appear when the world is on the verge of destruction or something?

Not necessarily. As I said, it takes someone with a very strong will in order to use one. Without that the Dragoon Spirits are just useless orbs.

Also, after the Dragon Campaign, the war I fought in before my mission and also the war where Dragoons first fought, all the Dragoon Spirits, with the exception of mine, were lost.

Either your "very strong will" is far stronger than one may think at first, or your whole world is filled with weak willed people. Maybe it's a combination of both.

In my case it's not very clear how Saints appear. Some say that it's just a mix of luck and determination or strong will... Most seem to think that there's some kind of destiny involved and others just think that it all comes down from the very first Saints who ever existed and how their souls keep reincarnating. But sometimes there have been almost all the 88 Saints there can be and other times it has been barely a bunch of them.

It is definitely stronger than what one may think. Wearing Dragoon Armor does something to the mind. The insanity one feels in the heat of battle increases many times. It becomes mentally tiring and not many people, though strong warriors in their own right, would be able to handle it. Throughout the ages I have met several people who would have made excellent Dragoons, but since all the Spirits but mine were lost, they never did become one.

Eighty-eight Saints... That is quite a lot compared to Dragoons.

It is a lot. But as I said, the roster has never been full, to begin with, the Phoenix Saint has never been active before. Many trained to become the Phoenix Saint and even were acknowledged as worthy of the Cloth by Athena herself, but the Cloth never accepted them. It remained sealed for thousands of years in its box until I arrived.

[Which has always made him wonder what does that mean if the bit about souls being reincarnated is true. What did he do in his previous lives that lead him to never get to the Cloth until now? Not that it really matters, but it's an idle curiosity that hits him sometimes.]

I guess gods in my world like to feel well protected, Hades himself had one hundred and eight Specters serving him. And that's not including the soldiers and gods that also serve him.

It seems like they want to have small armies at their disposal.

That's exactly when it is. In the mythological ages, thousands of years before history even began to properly be documented, gods were already fighting among themselves so they needed armies.

Athena's an exception though, she didn't want an army because she didn't want humans to fight for her and die in her name. She didn't fight for just war or domination, she fighted to try to make the others stop and protect the world. Many humans saw that and decided to fight for her, whether she liked it or not. When she saw that they wouldn't back down, she taught them how to use their Cosmos to fight and eventually ordered the creation of Cloths in order to have them protected.

It makes me wonder if my world was fortunate or not that the gods hardly interfered with life. They were there for when life first created but then decided to watch from a distance.

In my experience I would say your world is fortunate. Though it's true that in my world, eventually, the majority of the gods stepped back from directly interfering with it. That didn't stop a few of them from trying to "fix" it and return it to how it was when gods walked among humans and humans worshipped and served them.

I suppose if they were used to being worshiped and served it would not be surprising that they would try to "fix" things.

The servitude and worshipping they got was more due force and fear than because they deserved it. And many of them, from the start, thought of humanity as a mistake that had to be fixed as a whole. Those who didn't think so, thought of humans just as toys. The gods that treated humans fairly and fulfilled their own duties correctly was pretty small.

[And even those had their moments of flaws but they could be overlooked when compared to the rest of the good they did.]

They sound like several rulers I have seen throughout the ages.

[Malbu Frahma comes to mind.]

Fortunately they mortal, and things never worked out for them.

Gods can be killed, but they won't die through normal means. And it takes a lot to put them in place. I would say that I would take those rulers you have seen over the gods that I know, but honestly I would prefer neither of them.

It would be wise to prefer neither. The moral rulers tend to cause as much destruction and death as they can in a short time frame. Some even strive to become gods and manage to nearly wipe out whole races in the process.

But nothing lasts forever, not even gods. I learned that before I arrived here.

Indeed, though the gods of my world seem to forget that. Or it was a combination of arrogance and millenniums of being unchallenged, together with how vital they think they are for the universe.

That makes sense I suppose. Those who go unchallenged often get cocky about themselves and their power.

Edited 2014-09-02 21:40 (UTC)

Indeed. Athena always challenged those gods who abused their power and aimed to harm humanity, but as a Goddess that doesn't aim for destruction she always held back and her Saints never were able to kill the gods. They were sealed at most and only temporarily, not sure why.

It wasn't until my generation that Athena finally said "fuck you all" and aimed to kill one of the main gods.

[He's not really sure why such a different treatment between Poseidon and Hades, but his guess is that Poseidon, albeit an asshole, didn't want to just destroy the world and kill everything. Sure, he wanted to kill a lot of humans and succeeded in that, but he didn't aim for their extermination as much as Hades who wanted to even kill plants.]

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