piratejournal | [Written] And now for something completely different from the last time

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[Written] And now for something completely different from the last time

Marco here.

Sorry for my state in the last post, and thank you very much to those sweet enough to humor me, you're too kind.

Bepo, and Vyse, I have duplicates of my maps for you, assuming you both still want them.

For everyone else, I've made about twenty copies of various maps and directions to the Corsair Naval Masquerade Ball. Likewise, in the interest of furthering piracy rebelling against lawful order, I will teach the basics of ranks to anyone with enough brains to actually hold the knowledge. Remember, if you want to go, wear formal costume, and pretend to be part of the navy. Anyone in the Spades wishing to help infiltrate must be able to perform a correct salute and demonstrate ability to discern when it's appropriate. Those who cannot may help infiltrate as waiters.

Thank you.
- Marco

Edited Addendum: Dance lessons for Spades unfamiliar with waltz, samba, and tango will be held every night this week. Namur's breakdance competition comes with a reward, but this style of dance is not acceptable for naval officers, sorry Nam-chan.

[Locked to Nico Robin]

I am embarrassed to say I have about three favors to ask of you.

[Locked to Grell Sutcliff]

Hello Kitten. How do you feel about getting a little vengeance, eh?

[Locked to Sebastian]

My phoenix brother and I are in the mood to spread our wings. Think you can get a babysitter that night to come have fun?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey now, I always follow through on a promise.

And don't think you can quit this crew so easily, Sunshine. We take nakama very seriously. Ace is your captain, not his little brother. It's not something that can be easily traded without at least a game of Davy Back. Besides, Robin's crew is her family too, just like me with mine. But thanks kiddo, I appreciate the offer. It's not something that can be fixed, but I don't want it to be fixed either. I love this crew, I wouldn't trade any of you for anyone else, and if Robin didn't feel the same way about her crew, I wouldn't be so crazy about her.

[Which makes this the first time he put her name down in public :T]

If we can't handle the separation of crews as it is, then it's just not meant to be.

MARCO YOU ARE SO ADORABLE AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW OR MAYBE YOU DO BUT YOU ARE THE CUTEST THING!! ROBIN IS SO LUCKY! <3 <3 <3

*Yup, capitals, and underlined, and she's drawing love hearts. Seriously, the adorableness is almost too much for her - it's so cute seeing him talking this way about someone.

Though speaking of separation of crews...*

You're on the Moon...right?

WHAT?! No! STOP THAT! [Capitals right back!!!]

I'm on the Sun right now. [But he's considering fleeing.]

NO WAY MARCO YOU ARE SO CUTE! I'm almost jealous of your girly, ya know!!

Okay. But on the Moon, there's spare rooms left?

STOP THAT! NOT CUTE!

There are.

You'd be under Thatch and Namur's command, and you'd have to trade Zeff's cooking for Lea's, but if you want, that should be easy enough to arrange.

You like ADORABLE better? Or just SUPER SWEET?

*No offense to anyone, but the swaps would not be preferable to her*

Thanks. At least I know it's an option.

No. Neither.

[Teasing aside, however.]

Have things gotten worse with Ikki that I don't know about?

Maybe. But it's my fault. I shouldn't have spoken to him.

*There's a scribble on the page while she tries to figure stuff out - to mention the death threat or not?*

He doesn't want me anywhere near him is all.

[Marco sighs to himself. More reason not to leave Ikki on his own right now, but however angry he gets, it's a lot of hurting. He needs to do some poison extraction and he's not sure where to start other than letting off some of the pressure like he does for Ace. Still, it's good to know at least.]

It's okay Sunshine. He and I were just really shook up by the last island. Whatever he said was probably a lot worse than he would have liked. Which doesn't excuse it. If you want, I'll kick his ass for you or something, but for now, I see your point. Would you mind terribly being under Thatch's care? He'll make sure you're treated like a Princess deserves. Or if you'd rather stay with Ace, I'll start switching off with my brothers and move Ikki to somewhere Thatch can keep a close eye on him.

*There's a moment or so before Selphie replies, because she can't think what to say. She panics at the thought of Ikki finding out that she'd said anything to Marco, at what Ikki might say or do to her*

Marco, plese don't. You can't mentionn this to Ikki. And the crew shouldn't move, write? Its fine I promise I can keep hiding I mean keep out of Ikkis way and thatll be much easier!

*Excuse the mess and the mistakes - Selphie writes this all done extremely quickly, almost as though she's worried he'd have had the time to go tell Thatch or Ace or Ikki already*

I won't tell either of them anything, but I want you to stop solely blaming yourself.

When I told you to stand up for yourself, that included in your own head, Sunshine. Ikki's made a lot of mistakes too, but I won't mention it if you really want that.

*Selphie takes a deep breath, curling into the corner of her bed as she writes this*

Ikki threatened to kill me, did you know that? If I ever so much as spoke to him again, he said he'd kill me. I don't know if that was the island talking or what, but the way he looked at me, how he spoke to me, it seemed like he meant it. He's killed me once before, and I wouldn't dare to let it happen again.

I'm trying to stand up for myself, but he's so strong compared to me. I'm nothing. It's hard, that's all.

[He's completely speechless for a bit.]

[He's not sure if he's surprised or not.]

[Maybe not.]

[He knew Ikki was teetering a breaking point, but he also knows it's a lie.]

[Does he tell her that much?]

[Would she even believe him? And in the end, what does it matter? Death threats between nakama are unacceptable. So Ikki must have really lost it.]

[Just how much was he hurting?]

That isn't strong Sunshine. Not of him. You being able to say that, and tell me, and try to find a way to follow his wishes? That's strong.

I'm a little disappointed in him, but he must have -- [Marco himself scribbles out whatever he started to write and takes another pause.] gotten very upset. Upset or not, he needs to find a better outlet to handle all this, and I will take care of it. You did the right thing in telling me, okay?

[Ugh how does he tell her...] We would never allow him to kill you, and as strong as you are, together my brothers and I can still handle him, I promise. Even threats are unacceptable however. I will not let him find out you told me anything, and I'll do my best to give you all the chance to avoid him until I can get his temper under control, and even beyond that. But I want you to know that the threat is still going to be dealt with. Subtly. You won't be in danger, I promise.

When you said before that I should just be Marco without the phoenix sometimes, was this what you were thinking of?

I didn't say anything to upset him...

It was just like before. He would take anything I said and twist it so that it would sound like I was being some kind of cold hearted bitch. He did that so often. It was almost like he wanted to get angry at me.

But then... after the threat, I did what you said. I stood up for myself. I told him he couldn't bully me. That I wasn't his to boss around. Then he did that disappearing thing. Into thin air. Didn't even stay around to answer me. Maybe he just wanted to kill me, right there and then. Maybe that's why he disappeared. I don't know.

I know you all would look after me. I know you wouldn't like Ikki hurt me. But whenever I think of how he spoke to me, that look in his eye, it just makes me feel so sick.

Listen to me, I'm being so pathetic. No wonder he was disgusted and left me. No wonder he wants nothing to do with me.

I'm sorry, Marco...
I do like you when you are you, and I don't have to be scared that you're a phoenix too and - well, I don't know what you and Ikki talk about.
But I like you whatever you are. I like Marco a lot. I'm just sorry that I've caused so many problems for you, and all this burdening.

[He switches over to voice.]

Relax, eh? I'm glad you stood up for yourself. He took off, proving he won't kill you, no matter how idiotic he's being.

You're not do anything wrong, you're both just on eggshells, eh? Sounds like anything either of you do is going to set each other off.

[A sigh.] He left because he's Ikki, he left because of his own problems, not yours, aye? Where are you now? Sounds like you could use a hug and some hot chocolate or tea, eh?

And you aren't at all a problem. At all. Got it? If anything, you're just taking a lot of the heat like a thermometer, eh? And I'm sorry for that. No more being a thermometer for Selphie, got it?

*Selphie wasn't expecting to hear his voice, and it takes her a moment or two to decide if she's going to switch to voice herself. She does, but she sounds strained, choked almost, speaking softly*

I don't know, Marco... I keep thinking that I was the one that made these problems. I brought back all these issues from his past. I know that isn't my fault, but - that day on the crow's nest... Maybe if I hadn't let him see me cry, maybe if I'd said something differently... Maybe none of this would be the mess it is.

*She takes a deep breath and lets it out in a stuttered sigh*

I'm just in my room, trying not to be a thermometer...

Mind if I come join you?

Of course! I'll be on my bed, surrounded by plushies. Just let yourself in.

That is adorable. Okay, I'll be there in two seconds.

[And indeed, he hops on over, joins her on the bed, and gives her a big sparklebird hug. Because phoenixes are great plushies okay.]

*While Selphie does hope she isn't squeezing him too hard, her hug probably shows just how badly she's needed a cuddle lately*

Thank you, Marco.

[Nah, he's a phoenix. Even Thatch has a hard time squeezing the stuffing out of Marco, and he has the ability to neutralize Marco's healing.]

Cheep!

[Have a snuggle.]

[And he pats her head and watches for a bit before switching mostly back to human, though he still leaves a phoenix wing around her shoulders.]

Remember when I said I've never let a woman see that much of me? Well, at least I had my Pops and Thatch. Pops taught me how to love, and Thatch taught me how to be human.

Ikki was trained in how to hate. He doesn't want to, but when he's at his worst, that's all left in him. The hate and anger. [He gently pets her head.] And his father was the opposite of mine. My Pops wanted a big family so he had treasure worth protecting. Ikki's father wanted a big family so they could be used as soldiers to protect the world.

He... doesn't view physical relationships the same way I do. Because he didn't have the pirate side to help him figure it all out, eh?

It's not your fault for crying, but when you do, when he realizes how much he's hurting you just by being himself, he hates himself and the only way he can keep from destroying himself is to lash out. Come here, eh? [He tugs her close in a hug and gently pets her shoulders and head.] What did you say in the forest?

*At least the snuggling seems to get a smile from her, and she continues to squeeze Marco, petting at his head. When he's more human, though, it seems to make her realise the more real aspect of all this, and she snuggles into that phoenix wing*

I hate it that I cried. I hate it that I showed him I was upset. Marco, I'm a pretty stubborn thing, and I don't ever let anyone see that side of me. Ever. But I trusted him and I - *Selphie trails off there, and lowers her eyes, reluctant to talk of any love she has for Ikki* I let him see that because I cared. But it didn't work out so well.

*Selphie bows her head more, focusing hard on the floor*

I dunno that I remember exactly... But I said hello, and that was a bad start, I guess. I mentioned the animals, and he just started going crazy about how he wasn't an animal, that I couldn't tame him. I was talking about the rabbits! Not him! And then - then he told me that he knew what I did, who I was with... Some stuff about...things I didn't get in my "childish brain". Then that if I ever tried talking to him again, or came near him, that he'd...make sure I was dead and wouldn't even be able to come back. So I told him that he wasn't the boss of me, that he couldn't just keep treating me like shit. And - well, then I kinda pushed him. I wanted to beat him up so bad. So what if that's wrong, but I did.

*Carefully, she lifts her eyes and turns to look at Marco, though she can't quite hold his gaze*

I'm tired, Marco. Feeling so horrible like this makes me tired. So I guess I snapped. But that made me feel tired too.

[Marco lightly ruffles her head, and tilts his own. He can't completely follow it.]

[He does remember asking Ikki if he felt like Selphie was trying to tame him. More because of the forest, and because Marco felt a little tamed himself by his father and Thatch, but he knows something more must have triggered an outburst like that.]

Hey... it's okay, kiddo. [Well, it wasn't, but it would be, close enough. There still some things he doesn't get, but he has to take time to think it through to even ask the right questions.] It's okay to cry. And it's okay to show him that, okay? If you're hurting, it hurts. He just hates himself when it happens and lashes out. And I don't think there's anything you can do to prevent that right now. So you'll just have to reach a point where you don't hurt so much you need to cry first, okay? But for now, you can cry with me, and I'll protect your tears. [Another head ruffle as he thinks and thinks and thinks.]

I don't want to harp on it, because I'm not sure the words are important, but I don't understand. What did you say about the animals that he thought you were comparing him to them? [Something about how at least they were at peace? Happy? Friendly? Knew what she did? Stayed with her?]

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