Haruhi Fujioka (
haruhi_fujioka) wrote in
piratejournal2014-04-08 03:37 am
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[Voice]
I want to apologize for my behavior at the beginning of the month. I was...well. It doesn't matter. [No, she doesn't want to go into details.] I can see I wasn't the only one.
That doesn't make me feel much better.
Anyway, I'm...normal again, so where can I help? [Being useful will make her feel better. Maybe? SHE DOESN'T KNOW ANYMORE.] Is everyone alright?
[Private to Tamaki.]
I can't catch your dog. [Meaning she can't get her clothes back.] It might be a lost cause, but it would be nice if I could put my clothes where they belong.
[i.e. in her closet or on her back.]
And...as for...some of things I said...
Forget it. Forget all of it.
[/]
That doesn't make me feel much better.
Anyway, I'm...normal again, so where can I help? [Being useful will make her feel better. Maybe? SHE DOESN'T KNOW ANYMORE.] Is everyone alright?
[Private to Tamaki.]
I can't catch your dog. [Meaning she can't get her clothes back.] It might be a lost cause, but it would be nice if I could put my clothes where they belong.
[i.e. in her closet or on her back.]
And...as for...some of things I said...
Forget it. Forget all of it.
[/]
action:
To say he's tired would be generous. He's still exhausted. It's been nearly a week, but there's been no real time to rest. The ship has needed him, and the ever-ready Straw Hats wanted to go immediately, as planned, to Candy Island.
So they're part of that search.]
I assume things haven't been completely settled since then.
action:
I think we talked about marriage? [No, she knows they did.] I told him we should date first and ahhh…
[It's time to burrow into a hole and die, right?]
I meant it metaphorically.
action:
Ah, I see.
[This place had a habit, he found, of making issues come to the surface. Kyouya's expression doesn't change, his voice doesn't alter. There's nothing but calm understanding tinged with curiosity in it.]
Are you sure?
I'm asking only because, well, you and Tamaki share an inability, sometimes, to recognize your own feelings. And to really understand the feelings of those around you.
[Mostly the former with hints of the latter for Tamaki, mostly the latter with hints of the former for Haruhi.]
Perhaps it is something you should consider, even if it was a "curse" of this place that brought it up.
[This is his role. This is what is expected of him. He'll play it faithfully. It's for the best.]
action:
She hurts him on nearly a daily basis - though he does recover quickly.
But he shouldn't be with someone who hurts him.
Is she considering this seriously?]I never thought about it. [Part of her was just enjoying the chaos of the Host Club. She never considered…that.] It surprised me when he said me being a commoner didn't matter. I thought he would want to marry someone…
[She doesn't need to finish that thought. Her head hurts.]
action:
[It isn't an insult, but it's a point of reference. The rest of them had been fully content with Haruhi as an errand boy, if they'd even have asked that at all.]
He didn't include any of us for our status. That's what it looks like, of course. That he simply chose from the top families. But he didn't.
[It's calmly said, but it's all praise. Re-enforcing the idea of what Haruhi needs to realize. That her birth? Isn't going to influence what Tamaki thinks of her.]
He chose the students at Ouran with nowhere else to go.
Even you. Perhaps especially you.
action:
He has tried to protect everyone. [Even her.] Maybe he sees weaknesses in others and tries to help? [She had seen that with the twins especially, but…] What was my -
[No, she knows her weakness. She has become so much more personable thanks to the Club.]
He's smarter than I thought.
action:
[Kyouya sips his tea, a faint, faint smile on his features.]
We all needed something, when we were brought into the Host Club. We all needed other people.
The individual needs were different, but they shared that in common. We all needed to not be alone.
And so he brought us together.
action:
…would I be hogging him…?
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We can't stay in high school forever. We can't always be the Host Club.
I... think it would be good for him. If it's what you want. Just to give it a try.
[His hands shift a little around the cup of tea. A small gesture of reordering his thoughts, of momentary distraction.
But this can't be about him. He can't be selfish. He has to take care of Tamaki, not himself.]
Maybe you'll find there's nothing there. That's entirely possible. Or you might find something pleasantly unexpected.
action:
You're kind. [He looks exhausted and he could be sleeping right now - instead, he is comforting her.] Tamaki couldn't ask for a better friend.
[Regardless of what he thinks he owes Tamaki. After awhile, the game of checks and balances becomes unimportant.]
I'll think about it. But I…
I'm not sure I want things to change.
action:
[Finally, there's a change in Kyouya's tone.
It's something he usually reserves for Kaoru. For those moments they stand alone, on the outskirts, watching the others. When they understand each other and know what's to come, no matter how blind the others might be.
But Kaoru's not here. Neither is Mori. The next person for Kyouya to say it to? Is in front of him.]
No matter how much we fight it, [and he knows he's revealing too much, making it clear he's fought it] things are going to change. They have to.
Maybe the story isn't Cinderella. [A commoner marrying a prince.] But, eventually, the clock has to strike midnight.
You don't have to. I don't intend to interfere. It's your choice entirely, but...
I think he cares about you. [Did a bit of quiet, resigned jealousy creep into his tone? He isn't sure, but he tries to guard against it as he continues.] More than he does the rest of us -- differently than he does the rest of us.
If you think you might feel the same way, I don't want to see you put off taking the chance until it's too late.
action:
[She gives him a warm smile, wanting to give him some of the comfort he had given her. It really seems like Tamaki isn't the only one with a good heart. Not that that surprises her. She knows the twins are good people - deep down. Mischievous, but good. And Hani and Mori are rather heroic at times.
Now there's Kyouya who really doesn't like seeing others upset. He had proven that at the commoner's market when he had kept that lady from being swindled. She feels very lucky that she has such good people looking out for her.]
I don't need a fairytale. Those aren't real. I prefer something real. [A small smile follows his admittance.] He won't forget you...and neither will I. Nothing was the same without you around.
That's why I wanted to fight. I know that's not my forte, but they took someone special to all of us.
action:
Kyouya has to smile just a little. Because he knows. He knows his friends care about him, and now he's seen how much he matters to them. Which he appreciates quite a bit.
He just has to make sure they're all taken care of. Eventually.
If not Haruhi, then someone else. He'll find the right girl, arrange things perfectly.
But. Well. It's something he'll need to say to all of them eventually. Individually.
He can start with her.]
Thank you. For coming.
action:
Anytime! [As if she could leave him kidnapped.] What kind of Host Club would we be if we let a little Navy stop us?
action:
To be able to.
[And, well. He can offer this slight confession.]
I think I'm starting to get used to it.
action:
[Her eyes widen and she looks up at Kyouya curiously. Then she beams.]
That's not a bad thing.
action:
Though [Kyouya smiles a bit... or perhaps it's closer to a smirk.] I prefer problems I can buy or threaten our way out of.
This sort of system doesn't lend itself to that.
action:
You'll have to be creative.
[Or, you know, less manipulative.]
It's hard being without resources.
action:
It is. Especially for so long.
But I'd like to think we're adapting.
action:
CoughKyouyacough.]You mean you've found other ways to sustain yourself, right?
action:
[Fed, clothed, kept alive.
There are plenty of people to talk to, to deal with, and to learn to balance. They're all new; he's had to perfect a whole new act.
But...]
It'll be easier now. With the Host Club back to work.
action:
I might've ruined the act for some people. I think I announced I was a girl over the journals.
More or less.
[Oops?]
action:
Then we'll adapt.
There's no reason not to have our hostesses.
[After all, the Club needed to be able to work here, whatever it took.]
Are you open to receiving female and male customers? Or specifically one?
That decision needs to fall to you.
action:
[She pauses before lowering her voice.]
But I'm still not that comfortable dressing like a girl.
action:
[A small price to pay, certainly. He folds his hands together and smiles faintly.]
It would be best for us to be open to as many guests as possible.
I've found a regular myself.
[Which keeps a small but steady income... or did until this recent break.]
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