piratejournal | [audio - written] Selphie's Sad Times

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[audio - written] Selphie's Sad Times

*The journal starts off first with a breath, like someone is about to say something really important, but difficult to say. But instead of words, there's just a soft, slow sigh. Talking about this really isn't going to be easy, so she promptly decides to write things down instead. She writes very carefully, not committing to putting the words down until she's got them straight in her head, which is unusual for Selphie*

My whole life, I've never known my parents. They died when I was very young, it seemed, and recently I've gained back some memories of the orphanage I used to live in. I didn't know what they looked like, what they did, what kind of people they were. In a way, I think I accepted that. I was never adopted, and I was sent to live at a military school. That, for me, was always that. Of course I wondered. Of course I imagined they'd come back. But what I never imagined, was meeting someone here who does have memories of my parents.

These past couple of months, it's like my whole world has been flipped upside down, and I'm not even in my home world. Since the new year, one thing after another, and another. Sometimes it's just hard to know what to think anymore. It's not just this place, but the people too. I've always been a think-on-your-feet, live-in-the-moment type girl, but until recently, I don't think I ever really appreciated just how quickly everything can completely change, swept from beneath your feet, dumped on you from a great height.

Now that I've written this much, I'm not really sure what it is I wanted to say. I suppose, just that, even though this world isn't home, there's no underestimating what might happen, and how the people we meet here might affect us.

Just keep happy, everyone.

Just keep doing the things that make you smile.

*Then the journal entry finishes. There's not the usual signing of her name, not the usual message of love and peace, nor a scribbled love heart, or a smiley face. But she does go back to underline that last line, if even for her own sake than anyone else's*

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*Selphie thinks about this carefully, her nose wrinkling ever so slightly in thought. Then she shakes her head*

Nah... if you think about it, every time of year could be romantic. Like sunshine and flowers in spring, that must be soon. Then when it's summer, you can take her for picnics and walks on the beach.

*She laughs at herself a moment, then offers Aya a warm smile*

Why don't you at least give it a try, see if maybe you do prefer to have a little romance in your life? Like, if you see a beautiful lady, then talk to her some. Or tell a really cute girl that she's cute! Or..go crazy and kiss a girl you really like! Maybe once you've given it a try, you'll at least know for sure if that's what you want.

Edited 2014-03-09 12:34 (UTC)

[Now he wishes that he thought of picnics when he was younger. That was a great idea.] Those are all very good options.

Talk to her? You mean like what we're doing now? [He's not sure he could do the rest of her suggestions, though.] The last time I kissed a girl, it wasn't planned, and I don't think it ended well. [No thanks to certain candies.]

*Pleased with her advice giving, she smiles and nods*

Well, yeah, just like we're doing now! But you could take her out for dinner to talk to her sometime too, maybe, cause that must be nice, and a bit more special. Maybe don't talk to her about trying to woo other girls though..

*She tilts her head and puts her concerned listening face on. Ignoring the fact that she is thinking he kissed someone after he kissed her*

Why? What happened?

[Aya laughs a bit at her last statement.] No, I don't think she'd like being considered a tally mark.

[He runs a hand through his hair.]

She didn't seem to want to be kissed, probably because she was seeing someone else at the time. [Even though said girl kissed him back a bit. But that could just be his imagination.]

*Selphie smiles at that and shakes her head*

Nopes! Not a good idea, especially if she's the jealous type.

*She pulls her large chocobo plush onto her knee, fingers playing anxiously with its talons. She has a sinking feeling that he's talking about her, and keeps staring down at the yellow bird*

I think... she probably did want to be kissed but - she was scared and...confused. That would.. be my guess.

[Aya hums a bit at the reply, folding his arms as he looks at the stack of books.]

Confused is a good word to use. She...reacted to it, but...well, I didn't get punched for it. [Which is the confusing part. It was the candy's fault, overall.]

*Selphie chews her lip as she thinks how best to answer*

No.. because she..didn't mind. But, I guess, if it was a candy thing.. She knew too, probably, that you did it because of the candy, and not because you wanted to so... Ya know, if she didn't have candy herself then... The kiss will have been something different to each of u- uhm, you.

[Aya lets the words sink in a bit, giving a slight hum of though before turning his attention back to her.]

So, she wanted to, in the end?

...basically.

*Selphie lowers her head and hugs at her chocobo gently*

But she knows that you didn't really want to, so you don't have to worry about that.

[Aya is quiet for a moment, before he speaks again. He has to make sure he doesn't mumble out his next words.]

Under the right circumstances, he wouldn't need candy.

*She's not entirely sure what those circumstances might be, or if she'd ever find herself in a situation with him that he would think was right, but she lifts her head and gives him a warm smile*

...thanks.

[He nods a bit with a small smile.]

Feeling any better? [He's not the best with comforting, but it's better than not trying at all.]

Hmm, I think so. Yes.

*She sighs a little and leans back in her chair, but at least she's still smiling*

It's just...been a total nightmare of a year.

*She closes her eyes for a moment and shakes her head as though trying to rid of the thought*

But maybe, maybe things will get better soon, and I'll have stuff to look forward to. At least, I guess...it can't get much worse than this.

It'll probably get worse, but not just for you. [He doesn't seems to be bothered by that. Living with the fact that he's being hunted is just a normal Monday.] We'll all bear the burden with you.

*Hmm... How about that not being particularly good at being comforting, Aya? She pats the head of the bird on her lap then reaches over to sit it on the bed beside Aya*

No more burdening. I don't want anyone being burdened anywhere.

*She picks up one of her wrists, examining the small scars still traceable from her time being tortured by the navy*

[He doesn't expect his words to be all that comforting. He's not good at that sometimes. What he is good at is being realistic, and occasionally putting his foot in his mouth.]

We're a crew. If we weren't burdened by one another, we wouldn't be one.

*Well, at least he knows that about himself. But Selphie appreciates a bit of realism, and at least he isn't angry with it. Listening to Aya, an amused smile spreads slowly across her lips, and she tilts her head ever so slightly*

So, you don't have any secret plans to run away from us again then, hmm?

*After all, not too long ago he had seemed so uncertain about wanting to stick around, though she still largely credited herself as the fault for this, what with the whole killing him thing*

[Aya looks to Selphie with a smile, shaking his head.]

If they were secret, I wouldn't tell you. [He didn't have plans to run away, though.]

*Selphie narrows her eyes gently and folds her arms over her chest - just what she does when she really is angry or annoyed, only she's smiling like he's just told a joke*

Well, you should watch out. Cause I'm not afraid to hunt you down and chase you up a tree. Again.

[Aya gives her an indignant look.]

You didn't chase me up a tree. I'm not some cat. [So says the one with a former codename of a cat.]

Nuh uh!

*She smirks a bit and leans forward in her chair*

Way I remember it, you were so terrified of me that you climbed up a tree to avoid me. I should be offended!

*Even if, at the time, she still worried that he disliked her for killing him*

You're not terrifying, just misunderstood. Often. [Which he found to be true, even if some of that misunderstanding was his own fault, too.]

Oh.

*Her teasing expression is gone in a blink, and she sits back against her chair. She's not really sure what to say about that, so she just picks a bit of invisible fluff from the hem of her skirt*

I don't mind it. [He picks up the chocobo, finding it pretty soft as he looks it over.] It makes our conversations more interesting.

*She glances back up at him, still looking quite uncertain about this new truth about herself*

Well, that's something. I figure it's probably what gets me in so much trouble... But if it means that you'll keep talking to me, then I guess being misunderstood can't be so bad?

[audio - written] Selphie's Sad Times

I can type, I swear ^^;;;;

I'm no longer convinced. :|

i dunnndi blame yooo

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