piratejournal | [audio - written] Selphie's Sad Times

*The journal starts off first with a breath, like someone is about to say something really important, but difficult to say. But instead of words, there's just a soft, slow sigh. Talking about this really isn't going to be easy, so she promptly decides to write things down instead. She writes very carefully, not committing to putting the words down until she's got them straight in her head, which is unusual for Selphie*

My whole life, I've never known my parents. They died when I was very young, it seemed, and recently I've gained back some memories of the orphanage I used to live in. I didn't know what they looked like, what they did, what kind of people they were. In a way, I think I accepted that. I was never adopted, and I was sent to live at a military school. That, for me, was always that. Of course I wondered. Of course I imagined they'd come back. But what I never imagined, was meeting someone here who does have memories of my parents.

These past couple of months, it's like my whole world has been flipped upside down, and I'm not even in my home world. Since the new year, one thing after another, and another. Sometimes it's just hard to know what to think anymore. It's not just this place, but the people too. I've always been a think-on-your-feet, live-in-the-moment type girl, but until recently, I don't think I ever really appreciated just how quickly everything can completely change, swept from beneath your feet, dumped on you from a great height.

Now that I've written this much, I'm not really sure what it is I wanted to say. I suppose, just that, even though this world isn't home, there's no underestimating what might happen, and how the people we meet here might affect us.

Just keep happy, everyone.

Just keep doing the things that make you smile.

*Then the journal entry finishes. There's not the usual signing of her name, not the usual message of love and peace, nor a scribbled love heart, or a smiley face. But she does go back to underline that last line, if even for her own sake than anyone else's*

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It'll probably get worse, but not just for you. [He doesn't seems to be bothered by that. Living with the fact that he's being hunted is just a normal Monday.] We'll all bear the burden with you.

*Hmm... How about that not being particularly good at being comforting, Aya? She pats the head of the bird on her lap then reaches over to sit it on the bed beside Aya*

No more burdening. I don't want anyone being burdened anywhere.

*She picks up one of her wrists, examining the small scars still traceable from her time being tortured by the navy*

[He doesn't expect his words to be all that comforting. He's not good at that sometimes. What he is good at is being realistic, and occasionally putting his foot in his mouth.]

We're a crew. If we weren't burdened by one another, we wouldn't be one.

*Well, at least he knows that about himself. But Selphie appreciates a bit of realism, and at least he isn't angry with it. Listening to Aya, an amused smile spreads slowly across her lips, and she tilts her head ever so slightly*

So, you don't have any secret plans to run away from us again then, hmm?

*After all, not too long ago he had seemed so uncertain about wanting to stick around, though she still largely credited herself as the fault for this, what with the whole killing him thing*

[Aya looks to Selphie with a smile, shaking his head.]

If they were secret, I wouldn't tell you. [He didn't have plans to run away, though.]

*Selphie narrows her eyes gently and folds her arms over her chest - just what she does when she really is angry or annoyed, only she's smiling like he's just told a joke*

Well, you should watch out. Cause I'm not afraid to hunt you down and chase you up a tree. Again.

[Aya gives her an indignant look.]

You didn't chase me up a tree. I'm not some cat. [So says the one with a former codename of a cat.]

Nuh uh!

*She smirks a bit and leans forward in her chair*

Way I remember it, you were so terrified of me that you climbed up a tree to avoid me. I should be offended!

*Even if, at the time, she still worried that he disliked her for killing him*

You're not terrifying, just misunderstood. Often. [Which he found to be true, even if some of that misunderstanding was his own fault, too.]

Oh.

*Her teasing expression is gone in a blink, and she sits back against her chair. She's not really sure what to say about that, so she just picks a bit of invisible fluff from the hem of her skirt*

I don't mind it. [He picks up the chocobo, finding it pretty soft as he looks it over.] It makes our conversations more interesting.

*She glances back up at him, still looking quite uncertain about this new truth about herself*

Well, that's something. I figure it's probably what gets me in so much trouble... But if it means that you'll keep talking to me, then I guess being misunderstood can't be so bad?

It isn't. It can be useful. [Aya looks to her and smirks lightly.] Or it could get you into trouble.

Useful? *She laughs at that and kicks her feet lightly, apparently very amused*

I'm not so sure what's so useful about it.

*She smirks back at him though, and gives the vaguest hint of a wink*

But trouble can be fun sometimes, too!

You'll have to find out on your own. [Aya hands her the chocobo plush toy with a smile.] Trouble is the only way we can entertain ourselves out here, usually.

Then I look forward to one day learning how I can be useful!

I don't mind -

*She reaches to take it, but as she does so her fingers brush against his, one or two almost lacing between. Then the chocobo suddenly lands on the floor, and Selphie makes a fuss of bowing her head as she picks it up, hiding a soft blush*

Oops! Uh, I mean, I don't mind some trouble. Not really..

[When their fingers touched, Aya would have moved his away had the chocobo not been there. He tries to catch it before it fell, but he reflexes weren't the best at the moment. Aya clears his throat when Selphie manages to pick it up on her own.]

Some is alright. A lot isn't.

[Aya goes to stand, feeling that he overstayed his welcome.] You probably have other things to do.

*Selphie stands too, clutching the plush toy tightly in her hands. Perhaps a little too tightly, but that must just be because she doesn't want it to drop again, rather than out of any kind of awkwardness*

Sure, right. Yeah.

*At this moment, Selphie can think of absolutely nothing that she has to do, but she smiles and nods like Aya is right, because that's easier*

[audio - written] Selphie's Sad Times

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