piratejournal | [003 || Written]

BRB

*Given that she doesn't live on the Moon, she doesn't know which room is Riku's, but she wanders along anyway and will hopefully find it soon. She'll call out his name if she still can't find him*

[He thinks of that after a moment, so he tosses his journal aside and gets up to go open the door and lean out into the hallway, looking for her.]

Selphie! This one.

*Spotting Riku, Selphie gives him a tiny wave before heading over to his room*

Hey.

Hi.

[Steps back to let her in, then shuts the door behind her. He goes and drops back down onto his hammock.]

Uh, feel free to sit wherever. Here or Sora's.

[Gestures at the other hammock in the room.]

*She carefully sits down on Sora's hammock and looks across at Riku like she's ready to listen*

Okay. So what's going on?

Um.

[Wheeeere to begin...]

Okay. So. A few days ago, when all those weird candies were everywhere, I might've...kissed Sora.

*She nods, and gives an understanding look*

But that was different. That was the candy. Yuuki will understand that.

[Shakes his head.]

No. That was the problem. Sora had some, but I didn't know that. I thought he was just...

[Spreads his hands a little, giving a small shrug.]

So I kissed him back. And then even after he told me, I...did it again.

Oh...

*Selphie nods again, better understanding the situation now. She doesn't show it, but she's a little surprised to hear that Riku feels that way about Sora*

And Sora? How did he..reciprocate?

*Because if this was a final admission of feelings from both of them, that would be one thing. If it wasn't, then that was another*

He...kissed back. Kind of. It was—brief. I remembered Natsuno, and. I dunno. It was confusing, too.

[Lets out a light groan and leans back against the wall, pulling his knees up.]

The thing is, with Sora, I...

[He takes a breath. Outside of Natsuno, which was a complicated conversation in and of itself, this is the first time he's talked about this with anyone. And saying things out loud is scary somehow. He can pretend he doesn't have these feelings if he keeps them buried inside.]

I didn't think the way I felt would ever be a problem. Or even come up. I figured it was this one-sided thing and I'd be better off forgetting about it. That's why I could be with Natsuno, and—and he made it easier not to think about Sora anyway. I mean, that's not why I was with him, don't get me wrong, I liked him. I still do. But it did help.

So, have you and Sora spoken about this? Or have you decided your feelings for Sora are..different to what you have with Yuuki?

*Having never been in this predicament before, she's asking questions only to see if she can help Riku figure out where he stands*

Not yet. Not since it happened. I wanted to talk to Natsuno first. But...we know we need to talk about it, but I think neither of us knows how to. Everything's all weird now.

[Rubs the back of his neck.]

But how I feel about him has always been different than what I had with Natsuno.

Hmm... Talking with either of them is probably more useful than talking to me.

*Though she doesn't say it unkindly*

How so? Different? Or one stronger than the other?

I already talked to Natsuno... [And broke up with him.] I'll...get around to it. With Sora.

[Lets out a breath.]

Well, yeah, stronger, but not— He's my best friend. [He's starting to sound like a broken record with this, seriously.] I've known him my whole life, he's just. He's Sora. It was always going to be different, but it wasn't supposed to be a competition. That's what Natsuno said, that he didn't think he could compete with Sora, and...

[Thunks his head back against the wall.]

...Maybe he can't. I don't know. But I didn't think it was fair to stay with him when I don't know what the heck I'm doing. I guess that's what I'm asking you. Do you think it was the right move?

I guess because - Natsuno obviously really cares about you, a lot. And I suppose he figured he had you, all to himself, and he didn't need to worry about anyone else. But turns out...that's not the case. Some of that must be a bit of a shock.

*Selphie frowns a little as she watches that head thunk, and she gets up to go sit beside him on his hammock*

I can't be sure what is the right move, or the best move. I get where you're coming from though... But I've never felt that way, or been in Yuuki's position either. Maybe it is fairer for you, and everyone, that you really figure out what you really want, and be honest with yourself...

He does... More than I realized, I think. I was kind of surprised.

[Drags his hands over his face.]

He asked me recently if I liked Sora. And if I wanted to be with him. I told him no, basically said it wasn't a thing that was even in the realm of possibility so whatever I felt for Sora didn't matter. Then this happens. I feel like such a jerk, but it turns out being honest with yourself isn't as easy as it sounds. I know I need to figure it out, though.

[Turns his head to look at Selphie.]

Anyway, that's my sob story. Thanks for listening.

No...being honest with how you feel really isn't easy...

*Selphie gives a big heavy sigh, knowing this all too well..*

Guess your next step is to talk to Sora, figure that bit out. Then... go from there. But hey, don't worry about it. You can come tell me your sob stories any time you like.

*She smiles and touches his shoulder lightly*

Talk to Sora, figure out what to even tell him... Then there's Kairi in all this.

[Because he's not dumb, he did just have a whole conversation with her about the Paopu Fruit she apparently has.]

Man, drama. I should've just kept being antisocial forever.

[He gives her a weak grin back, but it fades after a moment.]

Really, how are you? [Then quickly:] Not that I'm trying to make you talk about anything you don't want to.

*Selphie nodded carefully at mention of Kairi. She'd spoken to her too, and knew very well how she felt about Sora. She also had inkling of how Sora felt about Kairi, but didn't think that now was the time to share her ideas*

Heh. Even I've had to reconsider being so...social.

*And she does feel bad - like maybe she forced something Ikki into something that he would have hated all along*

Me?

*She looks at Riku carefully, considering just smiling and saying everything is okay. She doesn't, but she doesn't fully share her thoughts, either*

I feel more horrible than I ever thought was possible. But I'll pull through.

[Riku probably already knows whatever Selphie might have to share anyway. He's all too aware of the way those two dance around each other, and always has been. It's why he'd put his own feelings aside before.

His eyebrows go up at her answer, and he lets out a low whistle.]

That bad, huh? Man, that's rough. I'm sorry, Selphie. If there's anything I can do...

[Eyes her for a second.]

Do you like doing hair?

*Selphie lowers her eyes at his whistle and shrugs lightly*

Rough, but I guess I'll get through it. It'll be okay. I just - this has never happened to be before. I guess, none of this was what I expected.

*Raising a brow, she looks back up at him, confused*

Doing hair? Uhm...I guess?

Relationships are just... They can be hard. I guess. It's kind of all new to me, but they're definitely complicated. You'll get through it, but it sucks that you're even in that position.

[Looks somewhat sheepish.]

Sorry, that was a random question. There was this one time when we were kids when I, uh. Said something dumb and you got all upset. Anyway, I ended up letting you braid my hair. [Shrugs.] Seemed to make you feel better.

[...Noooot at all the same situation here, but whatever??]

I didn't think it would be super easy, or anything. I just...never realised that it would be quite so hard.

*In fact, most of it had been really hard work. Maybe that was why Ikki was so keen to break it off - telling her their relationship wasn't normal. Still, she nods slowly in agreement - it does suck, but she hoeps it'll be better*

Oh really? And what dumb thing did you say to upset me, Riku?

*She eyes him carefully, awaiting the answer, but she looks amused all the same*

[Nods.]

I know what you mean. Uh, obviously not...quite the same thing on my end, but. [Sighs.] But yeah.

[Annnd still looking sheepish as he rubs the back of his neck.]

...Who can remember. I was in between those awkward phases of girls have cooties and I'm too cool for anything— [Well, that second phase had lasted...awhile...] —and you wanted to play something or other that I decided was clearly beneath me.

[SHRUG.]

I was kind of a jerk.

[Not that that's changed much either sometimes.]

*Selphie just sighs a little at what Riku says. Not the same thing at all, she feels. But she smirks some as continues through and she turns to him to poke him in the shoulder*

That's just mean, Riku! No wonder I was upset!

*She can't help but feel that the cooties thing is a little too close to Ikki's repulsion of her, but Riku can't know that, so she keeps smiling*

You are a jerk, but you can make up for it... if you let me plait your hair.

written to action

action

action

action

action

action

action

action

action

action

action

action

action

action

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject