piratejournal | [003 || Written]

Relationships are just... They can be hard. I guess. It's kind of all new to me, but they're definitely complicated. You'll get through it, but it sucks that you're even in that position.

[Looks somewhat sheepish.]

Sorry, that was a random question. There was this one time when we were kids when I, uh. Said something dumb and you got all upset. Anyway, I ended up letting you braid my hair. [Shrugs.] Seemed to make you feel better.

[...Noooot at all the same situation here, but whatever??]

I didn't think it would be super easy, or anything. I just...never realised that it would be quite so hard.

*In fact, most of it had been really hard work. Maybe that was why Ikki was so keen to break it off - telling her their relationship wasn't normal. Still, she nods slowly in agreement - it does suck, but she hoeps it'll be better*

Oh really? And what dumb thing did you say to upset me, Riku?

*She eyes him carefully, awaiting the answer, but she looks amused all the same*

[Nods.]

I know what you mean. Uh, obviously not...quite the same thing on my end, but. [Sighs.] But yeah.

[Annnd still looking sheepish as he rubs the back of his neck.]

...Who can remember. I was in between those awkward phases of girls have cooties and I'm too cool for anything— [Well, that second phase had lasted...awhile...] —and you wanted to play something or other that I decided was clearly beneath me.

[SHRUG.]

I was kind of a jerk.

[Not that that's changed much either sometimes.]

*Selphie just sighs a little at what Riku says. Not the same thing at all, she feels. But she smirks some as continues through and she turns to him to poke him in the shoulder*

That's just mean, Riku! No wonder I was upset!

*She can't help but feel that the cooties thing is a little too close to Ikki's repulsion of her, but Riku can't know that, so she keeps smiling*

You are a jerk, but you can make up for it... if you let me plait your hair.

[It's really not, he's just trying to commiserate because he doesn't know how to make her feel better but he doesn't like seeing her sad!]

Hey, I apologized almost immediately! I went over to your house and everything, that's how I ended up letting you go all beauty salon on me.

[Gives a little put-upon sigh just for show before grinning and turning his head, gathering up his hair in one hand so it's not all over the place.]

There's a lot more for you to work with now.

My house...?

*Sorry, Riku, this is all she can focus on. Her entire life she swears she's never lived in a house. But then, there are years of her life unaccounted for in her memory. Still, she moves to sit behind him, and slowly begins carefully twisting his hair together*

Did I live in a house? At Destiny Island.

[Blinks, glancing back at her out of the corner of his eye as best he can.]

Well, yeah. We all did. They weren't very big or anything, the whole town is...pretty small. There were always cookies at your house, though.

Oh...

*She carefully finishes one section, then moves onto another, working slowly as she thinks things through*

My house? With cookies? But...who did I live with?

[Knows this is kind of a sensitive subject to be discussing. He shrugs a little, looking forward again and picking at the hammock.]

You know... Your parents.

*Her hands stop what they're doing the moment Riku gives his answer. She seems to freeze entirely, an alarming surprise in her voice*

My parents? But I don't - I don't have any parents... Maybe, maybe it was an orphanage...or something?

*Selphie attempts to keep her voice bright and light, but there's no denying that it's shaking*

...I don't even think my island had an orphanage.

[At least, Kairi never ended up in one. She just went to live with the Mayor.]

My...parents? Not...foster parents? Did they - were they -?

*She starts to plait his hair again, but her hands are shaking so she stops, resting them on her knees*

Riku, do you think they really were my real parents?

[Sighs, turning to face her completely and giving a somewhat helpless shrug.]

As far as I know? Maybe that's just me assuming things... But we never had any reason to think they weren't your real parents.

*Selphie swallows hard, not sure whether to burst into tears, or laughter. She looks at Riku steadily, her hands clutching onto her knees*

What did they look like? What did they do? Were they nice people? Were they happy people?

[Smiles a little.]

They were very nice. Are very nice. Sora's house was pretty much my second home, but I always liked your mom. [Pause.] You look like her.

[He laughs.]

All of our dads used to barbecue together.

*Selphie lifts her hands to cover her mouth, her eyes glazing over. Hearing someone talk about her parents, and like they're alive, it's a huge shock to her, and she can't help but just stare. Eventually, she moves her hands away, but she struggles to speak up*

...barbe...cue.

[Nods. He reaches out, a little hesitantly, to touch the back of Selphie's hand. Because she looks like she might start crying or something, and he's not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing or if he should stop talking or what.

She hasn't asked him to stop, though, so he thinks of other things to say.]

Your dad is cool. You know, everyone else had sons to deal with -- well, except Kairi, but the Mayor took her in when she showed up and he was usually busy doing...Mayor things, so we didn't always see him as much. But anyway, so your dad was the only one in our group who had a daughter, but I don't think he cared. One year for Halloween, I remember you dressed up as a princess and he went as your prince. Crown and all. He adored you.

Although... [Grins a little.] I think he might've been dreading the day you would actually start dating.

*When he touches her hand, Selphie bites her lip, because crying is exactly what she is trying not to do right now. She lowers her eyes to the floor, and hurriedly lifts her hand to swipe at an eye where she feels a tear beginning to escape. The very idea of it all, and trying so hard to remember. Selphie lets out a choked kind of laugh at the last thing he says, because she knows that she failed in that respect, but the idea of having any kind of father figure makes the laugh sound more like a sob*

...I wish... I wish I could remember...

[Riku averts his eyes for a moment, his gaze going a bit distant. Sometimes he has a hard time remembering these things himself. He didn't let himself think about them for so long, and then when he did start allowing the memories to surface again he would just be overcome with guilt. Selphie's parents were good people. So were his own.

And he'd let the darkness swallow them up so easily.

It's gotten easier over time, helped by the fact that he was able to spend a few days at home before they'd gotten tossed into this world. But it still feels like his childhood was an entire other life sometimes.

He looks back at Selphie, his voice soft when he speaks.]

...Should I stop?

*Selphie leans forward, folding her arms on her knees, and resting her eyes against her elbow. Either trying to remember, or trying to disappear, she's not sure herself, but she hears Riku and shakes her head against her arm without looking up*

N-no. It's okay. This is just so... Amazing. But so...sad.

Alright...

[Shifts and scoots a little closer until he's sitting pressed against her side.]

There was this one time when we were younger -- I think I was around nine, so you were probably eight or so. It was your parents' anniversary and your dad... Man, he went all out. There was a big party on the beach and there were all these lights and decorations and stuff and all our parents went. Kids, too. But they all kept dancing and I remember thinking it was really gross. There were fireworks at the end of the night. Your mom didn't know about it, the whole thing was a surprise.

...You know, now that I think about it, your dad is kind of a romantic.

[Maybe that's where Selphie gets it from.]

*Selphie wipes her eyes against her arm, then moves to sit back up again slowly, keeping herself close to Riku. Despite how teary her eyes might seem, there's a big smile on her face as she imagines the scene. And he's right, it does sound very romantic. She laughs a little as a small tear falls*

That's so sweet! I bet...I bet my mom and dad were real happy together?

*It sounds a bit more like a question, because while she wants to believe that it's true, she doesn't want to be making things up*

Oh yeah.

[It's an immediate answer. Not that his own parents or Sora's or anyone else's weren't happy, but sometimes Selphie's were something else entirely.]

There were always flowers in your house. Your dad would bring them home. I asked him why one time and he said something about how it made your mom smile and seeing her smile was always the highlight of his day.

[His nose wrinkles as he makes a face reminiscent of the one he would've made when he was seven and that kind of stuff seemed weird and stupid.]

*That makes her laugh all the more, and her hands clasp together in delight at it all*

My dad sure sounds like a keeper! No wonder my mom was happy!

*Perhaps it wasn't any wonder, then, that that was the kind of relationship she herself had always dreamed for herself. She giggles at Riku's expression and touches his nose*

It's very romantic!

[Cracks a grin to go with her laugh, playfully brushing her hand away.]

It is, but I didn't get all that back then. I guess now I do a little better.

[Leans his head back against the wall, letting the memories wash over him as he searches his mind for any other tidbits he can share.]

...There's someone like that out there for all of us, you know.

[003 || Written]

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