piratejournal | [003 || Written]

Hmm... Talking with either of them is probably more useful than talking to me.

*Though she doesn't say it unkindly*

How so? Different? Or one stronger than the other?

I already talked to Natsuno... [And broke up with him.] I'll...get around to it. With Sora.

[Lets out a breath.]

Well, yeah, stronger, but not— He's my best friend. [He's starting to sound like a broken record with this, seriously.] I've known him my whole life, he's just. He's Sora. It was always going to be different, but it wasn't supposed to be a competition. That's what Natsuno said, that he didn't think he could compete with Sora, and...

[Thunks his head back against the wall.]

...Maybe he can't. I don't know. But I didn't think it was fair to stay with him when I don't know what the heck I'm doing. I guess that's what I'm asking you. Do you think it was the right move?

I guess because - Natsuno obviously really cares about you, a lot. And I suppose he figured he had you, all to himself, and he didn't need to worry about anyone else. But turns out...that's not the case. Some of that must be a bit of a shock.

*Selphie frowns a little as she watches that head thunk, and she gets up to go sit beside him on his hammock*

I can't be sure what is the right move, or the best move. I get where you're coming from though... But I've never felt that way, or been in Yuuki's position either. Maybe it is fairer for you, and everyone, that you really figure out what you really want, and be honest with yourself...

He does... More than I realized, I think. I was kind of surprised.

[Drags his hands over his face.]

He asked me recently if I liked Sora. And if I wanted to be with him. I told him no, basically said it wasn't a thing that was even in the realm of possibility so whatever I felt for Sora didn't matter. Then this happens. I feel like such a jerk, but it turns out being honest with yourself isn't as easy as it sounds. I know I need to figure it out, though.

[Turns his head to look at Selphie.]

Anyway, that's my sob story. Thanks for listening.

No...being honest with how you feel really isn't easy...

*Selphie gives a big heavy sigh, knowing this all too well..*

Guess your next step is to talk to Sora, figure that bit out. Then... go from there. But hey, don't worry about it. You can come tell me your sob stories any time you like.

*She smiles and touches his shoulder lightly*

Talk to Sora, figure out what to even tell him... Then there's Kairi in all this.

[Because he's not dumb, he did just have a whole conversation with her about the Paopu Fruit she apparently has.]

Man, drama. I should've just kept being antisocial forever.

[He gives her a weak grin back, but it fades after a moment.]

Really, how are you? [Then quickly:] Not that I'm trying to make you talk about anything you don't want to.

*Selphie nodded carefully at mention of Kairi. She'd spoken to her too, and knew very well how she felt about Sora. She also had inkling of how Sora felt about Kairi, but didn't think that now was the time to share her ideas*

Heh. Even I've had to reconsider being so...social.

*And she does feel bad - like maybe she forced something Ikki into something that he would have hated all along*

Me?

*She looks at Riku carefully, considering just smiling and saying everything is okay. She doesn't, but she doesn't fully share her thoughts, either*

I feel more horrible than I ever thought was possible. But I'll pull through.

[Riku probably already knows whatever Selphie might have to share anyway. He's all too aware of the way those two dance around each other, and always has been. It's why he'd put his own feelings aside before.

His eyebrows go up at her answer, and he lets out a low whistle.]

That bad, huh? Man, that's rough. I'm sorry, Selphie. If there's anything I can do...

[Eyes her for a second.]

Do you like doing hair?

*Selphie lowers her eyes at his whistle and shrugs lightly*

Rough, but I guess I'll get through it. It'll be okay. I just - this has never happened to be before. I guess, none of this was what I expected.

*Raising a brow, she looks back up at him, confused*

Doing hair? Uhm...I guess?

Relationships are just... They can be hard. I guess. It's kind of all new to me, but they're definitely complicated. You'll get through it, but it sucks that you're even in that position.

[Looks somewhat sheepish.]

Sorry, that was a random question. There was this one time when we were kids when I, uh. Said something dumb and you got all upset. Anyway, I ended up letting you braid my hair. [Shrugs.] Seemed to make you feel better.

[...Noooot at all the same situation here, but whatever??]

I didn't think it would be super easy, or anything. I just...never realised that it would be quite so hard.

*In fact, most of it had been really hard work. Maybe that was why Ikki was so keen to break it off - telling her their relationship wasn't normal. Still, she nods slowly in agreement - it does suck, but she hoeps it'll be better*

Oh really? And what dumb thing did you say to upset me, Riku?

*She eyes him carefully, awaiting the answer, but she looks amused all the same*

[Nods.]

I know what you mean. Uh, obviously not...quite the same thing on my end, but. [Sighs.] But yeah.

[Annnd still looking sheepish as he rubs the back of his neck.]

...Who can remember. I was in between those awkward phases of girls have cooties and I'm too cool for anything— [Well, that second phase had lasted...awhile...] —and you wanted to play something or other that I decided was clearly beneath me.

[SHRUG.]

I was kind of a jerk.

[Not that that's changed much either sometimes.]

*Selphie just sighs a little at what Riku says. Not the same thing at all, she feels. But she smirks some as continues through and she turns to him to poke him in the shoulder*

That's just mean, Riku! No wonder I was upset!

*She can't help but feel that the cooties thing is a little too close to Ikki's repulsion of her, but Riku can't know that, so she keeps smiling*

You are a jerk, but you can make up for it... if you let me plait your hair.

[It's really not, he's just trying to commiserate because he doesn't know how to make her feel better but he doesn't like seeing her sad!]

Hey, I apologized almost immediately! I went over to your house and everything, that's how I ended up letting you go all beauty salon on me.

[Gives a little put-upon sigh just for show before grinning and turning his head, gathering up his hair in one hand so it's not all over the place.]

There's a lot more for you to work with now.

My house...?

*Sorry, Riku, this is all she can focus on. Her entire life she swears she's never lived in a house. But then, there are years of her life unaccounted for in her memory. Still, she moves to sit behind him, and slowly begins carefully twisting his hair together*

Did I live in a house? At Destiny Island.

[Blinks, glancing back at her out of the corner of his eye as best he can.]

Well, yeah. We all did. They weren't very big or anything, the whole town is...pretty small. There were always cookies at your house, though.

Oh...

*She carefully finishes one section, then moves onto another, working slowly as she thinks things through*

My house? With cookies? But...who did I live with?

[Knows this is kind of a sensitive subject to be discussing. He shrugs a little, looking forward again and picking at the hammock.]

You know... Your parents.

*Her hands stop what they're doing the moment Riku gives his answer. She seems to freeze entirely, an alarming surprise in her voice*

My parents? But I don't - I don't have any parents... Maybe, maybe it was an orphanage...or something?

*Selphie attempts to keep her voice bright and light, but there's no denying that it's shaking*

...I don't even think my island had an orphanage.

[At least, Kairi never ended up in one. She just went to live with the Mayor.]

My...parents? Not...foster parents? Did they - were they -?

*She starts to plait his hair again, but her hands are shaking so she stops, resting them on her knees*

Riku, do you think they really were my real parents?

[Sighs, turning to face her completely and giving a somewhat helpless shrug.]

As far as I know? Maybe that's just me assuming things... But we never had any reason to think they weren't your real parents.

*Selphie swallows hard, not sure whether to burst into tears, or laughter. She looks at Riku steadily, her hands clutching onto her knees*

What did they look like? What did they do? Were they nice people? Were they happy people?

[Smiles a little.]

They were very nice. Are very nice. Sora's house was pretty much my second home, but I always liked your mom. [Pause.] You look like her.

[He laughs.]

All of our dads used to barbecue together.

*Selphie lifts her hands to cover her mouth, her eyes glazing over. Hearing someone talk about her parents, and like they're alive, it's a huge shock to her, and she can't help but just stare. Eventually, she moves her hands away, but she struggles to speak up*

...barbe...cue.

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