007 ♦ Voice

[diamondlight]

[The voice coming over the journal sounds strained, rough, tired, and a lot of other things that imply its owner should really be in bed and not talking to people. But... it's also a little cheerier than it's been, and maybe that's enough.]

I know everyone's already started to chime in about being okay, and everything that's happened since the attack on the fortress the other day. So... I guess I should start by saying that I'm fine. Really, really tired, and I took a bad blow to my back that will take some time to heal, but I'm mostly okay. It's nothing some bandages and rest won't heal. [Probably.]

After that, though, I think I need to apologize. I said some... kind of careless things earlier. I wasn't really thinking straight, after... some things happened, and I'm afraid I worried a few people. So... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone straight to the journal after everything, and I kind of regret it now. N-not the part about telling everyone that the people had disappeared. Something else. Um... I'm just going to stop rambling about that for now.

I guess I'm just really burned out, and that's a hard feeling to deal with right now. I'm worried, and I'm exhausted, and I hurt, and there's nothing I can really do about it. I shouldn't be restless right now, but... here I am. So if anyone has any advice on not feeling like you've messed up really badly after everything that's happened, I would love it - I kind of need it.

[A short time after this goes up, Rikka's crewmates can find her out on the deck, looking out at the water. That, or preparing to make social calls to make sure her friends are okay.]

Comments

voice;

[gokai_red]

[He just gives something of a slight scoff.]

Kid, I've been yelled at for reasons a hell of a lot more petty than that.

You did what you needed to do, then. And on top of that, that place is gone, and that witch is dead. All in all, that's not too shabby. Take what you have and hold onto that. Worrying about what may or may not have been done right or wrong won't get anyone anywhere - we won.

[And dammit Rikka, if he keeps doing this he's going to have to knock over a small island nation to counter balance all this sort of talk with his reputation.]

[diamondlight]

Mm. I guess it's just habit. I'm usually a lot more proper than I have been over the last two or three weeks.

I know we won. It just... it feels like we had to lose so much to get there. And it feels like I did so little. It's mortifying that I went in there so confident that I could make a difference, and we had to be rescued. So even if I did what I wanted to do, I... is this all my power is good for?

[gokai_red]

Everyone was saving each other's asses the whole way through that place. I got bailed out a few times, too.

All it really comes down to is that you got what you needed. It's really easy to pick apart anything and make it worse, so don't. They're safe, you're safe, and you can go on to do whatever you need to do now.

Now is important, and what you can do in the future is important. What happened then is in the past.

[diamondlight]

You're probably right. I just... I'm so uncomfortable with all this. I don't mind this place most of the time, but the entire last month has been the most terrible month of my entire life. Not that I've had much to compare it to, but...

[She sighs, loud enough for the journal to hear.]

I'm going to reach out and take hold of that future - I owe that to my teammates, and myself - but right now it's just hard to see why I'm putting so much into a world that seems like it's trying really hard to break me.

[gokai_red]

I dunno about anyone else, but I don't plan on putting anything into this world. It sure hasn't given me any reason to.

It is trying to break us.

But I don't have a problem in seeing what I can take out of it.