Dear magical journal thing that I'm still not convinced isn't completely evil,

Have been stuck in close quarters with speccy git Potter for far longer than I'm used to — thus far I've managed not to hex him, at least. I suspect the urge won't be kept at bay for much longer.

The sun decided not to rise this morning — totally normal, that. Not worrying at all.

THERE ISN'T A PROPER LOO ON THIS BLOODY SHIP, or shower, or anything else — cleaning charms can only go so far!! My hair is hideous.

In conclusion: not dead yet.

Somehow.

- Draco Malfoy

[The first part is handwritten.]

This isn't a request for any crew members, although if someone wanted to think otherwise, I certainly wouldn't object. I need a doctor - or any form of healer, preferably one whose ability is enhanced by magic. My friend went and broke some ribs. You would be paid, of course.

[He's figured out that anything he writes in the journal is seen by everyone, but he has no idea the audio function exists - which is why when a Certain Person comes up behind him and comments on it, he doesn't close the journal. An exasperated sigh can be heard, and then an argument.]

I didn't break some ribs, someone broke them for me. And they're cracked, not broken. I'll be fine without a doctor.

You need help just to sit down.

Because I'm exhausted and the alternative was to fall over. That has nothing to do with my ribs.

Your grimaces and silent glares say otherwise.

I'm silently glaring because you earned a silent glaring. That, also, has nothing to do with my ribs.

Your silent glares are less than a foot above your cracked ribs, so I made the obvious connection.

You need to work on your deductive reasoning skills.

[The last is grumbled in the background, but in a tone of resignation. With that, Skulduggery realises the journals appear to have an audio function, and that every word they've said has been recorded. He hesitates, then continues as if nothing out of the ordinary happened.]

The aforementioned doctor would need to be all right with stubborn patients, obviously. And, come to think of it, biological impossibilities. If you're interested and available, please let me know.

[OOC: Feel free to respond to either Descry Hopeless or Skulduggery Pleasant here - this is a joint post. ^_^]