piratejournal | ♥ 007 | voice; backdated to the 14th, action for the Katabami

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♥ 007 | voice; backdated to the 14th, action for the Katabami

[The familiar voice of one Kodachi, the Black Rose, suddenly makes itself known throughout the realm through the journals. Did she mean for this to happen? No, not at all. Would she regret this accidental recording? Probably not, but her ally might.]

[The transmission begins with her humming to herself. There's the sound of the Nav activating, and then - ]

Oh, my Valentine's Day gifts have arrived! Ice cream! Such a nice green color!

[It is, of course, better that she doesn't reveal its flavor ... ]

Mitsunari-san! I have something for you to try! Look at this ice cream~!

[Mitsunari has never had ice cream. He's never had the opportunity to try it, but that's fine by him, because he's never wanted any to begin with. So when he sees the very green dessert Kodachi's gotten ahold of, he isn't particularly impressed. He doesn't have any idea that its interesting hue is maybe just a little out of the ordinary, either.]

...What? [He wonders why she's bothering him with this. If she wants it taste-tested or something, there's other people around who would be much more willing to do so than him, right? Dismissively, he says:] Give it to someone else.

[You can practically hear the pout in Kodachi's voice as she replies:] But I ordered it especially for you. Won't you at least try it?

[...She did what now? Always full of surprises, Kodachi.] I do not recall asking for this. [It can't be seen, but he gestures vaguely at the ice cream.] I don't want any.

[Just silence. One could probably assume by listening to their exchange that she was making sad faces at him, with pouty lips and doe eyes.]

[Mitsunari is stubborn enough to let this go on without feeling even remotely bad about it... but for how long?]

[Several minutes pass, and one can only guess that she's continuing to follow him around, ice cream in hand and imploring expression upon her face.]

[He dutifully ignores her until it starts getting kind of ridiculous (is she a baby duckling or something?) and he decides to just try the stupid green food he didn't even ask for.] Enough. Give it to me.

[So Mitsunari -- poor, unknowing Mitsunari -- tries the ice cream. If only he were aware of what that green dye signified. What Kodachi apparently does not feel the need to tell him is that this is not anything like pistachio or mint flavored ice cream. Oh no. This is wasabi ice cream.] ...What did you -- ?! [Why is this alleged dairy product burning his mouth? With a frustrated huff, he shoves the bowl of ice cream back at Kodachi with only a single question in mind for her.] Why.

[The only answer thus far is Kodachi's trademark laugh.]

OHOHOHOHOHOHO!

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[She really wasn't as cruel as she seemed. Honestly.]

[Which is why after chortling merrily at his . . . pain . . . she brought forth something much sweeter - literally. A box of chocolates.]

[She opened it up and presented the gleaming confections to her ally.]

Here, a little something to soothe your tongue. ♥

[Mitsunari responds to her laughter with the deadliest of shoebill glares.]

Quiet! Do not laugh at me!

[His pride, Kodachi. It is hurting. But most of all it's his mouth that hurts. Seriously, it's burning like Eternal Bliss. The only possible reason for food like this to exist is to maybe feed to people like Ieyasu. (Now there's an idea.)

The box of chocolates is next in line to bear the brunt of his shoebill glare. "Fool me twice, shame on me". Mitsunari doesn't trust those sweets.]

What was the point of this?

To let you try it, of course!

[She was still having a good giggle over Mitsunari's expression of disgust. He never gave much thought to food, well - now he'd hate it even more. Except perhaps chocolates.]

[She took one and popped it into her mouth, as if to illustrate that it was safe.]

Now, I promise this won't hurt, and you'll like it. ♥ Girls give it to the boys they like on Valentine's Day, but I thought I'd give one to all my friends. [She said this with a blush.]

Try it so you may laugh as my mouth is set aflame?

[Truly a devilish prank. He rubs his arm across his eyes because he can feel them starting to water. (Except as far as "water" goes it's a bit, ah, red. Nothing to be concerned about, probably not even noticeable, do carry on --)

Aside from the fact that his appetite is now as dead as Lord Hideyoshi, he's not sure Kodachi really picked that chocolate via random selection. Maybe all the others taste like hellfire and brimstone.

He also (still) objects to being labelled her friend. Friends don't let friends try the objectively worst ice cream flavor.]

I could not possibly want to eat these any less than I do now.

[Come now, surely the great Ishida Mitsunari could handle a little wasabi ice cream.]

[Also, friendship with Kodachi was . . . well, full of surprises. Wasn't it?]

[She presented the chocolates to him once again, deciding to allay his fears this way:]

I promise you'll love them. You can pick any which one and we'll split it in half - you get to choose which half I'll have and which one you'll have. That way, you'll know I'm not lying.

And if I still am, you can punish me, if you like.

[Her eyes gleamed. She was lying about that and there was no way in hell she was going to allow herself to be punished, but she was certain he'd like the chocolates anyway. There was nothing dangerous in there.]

["If I still am"?! Well, that's reassuring.

Mitsunari believes he has a better idea. There's no need to share to prove the chocolates don't have anything wrong with them, right? He grabs one and holds it out for Kodachi to take.]

Eat it.

[If she's lying, she's going to be the only one suffering for it!]

[She gave him a smile, her eyes twinkling with mischief, before she took the chocolate from him and popped it into her mouth easily.]

Mmm! Delicious!

Well, it's your turn!

[Surely he couldn't back down now!]

There's nothing wrong with them...?

[Consider him surprised. However, he doesn't change his mind.]

So what? You can dump them in the ocean for all I care.

[Getting him to eat the ice cream? That was easy mode. This is hard mode.

It would sure be nice if the wasabi would wear off... but that doesn't mean he's going to cave and eat these chocolates!]

Oh, I wouldn't do that. Chocolates are good for people.

[Kodachi smiled slyly.]

Did you know that women are placated from their ill moods if you give them chocolate? You know . . . during "that" time of the month.

[She blushed. Discussing that sort of thing with him was embarrassing, but perhaps then he'd buy her story and eat the chocolates she got for him!

[The good news: Mitsunari is unfazed by this topic of conversation.

The bad news: Mitsunari doesn't follow her logic.

Usually his stares are fairly intimidating, but this one's just kind of blank.]

...And?

I have no such need for them.

It works for men too. It's very medicinal.

[She put on the most earnest expression that she could. Honestly, once he just tried it, his world would change.]

It will soothe your soul and make things much clearer!

[His confusion mounts.

His confusion is then supplemented by unwarranted angst.]

You think these candies can soothe my soul?

[Oh boy, here we go.]

Dare you mock me?!

I'm not mocking you! They can do that for everyone.

[Kodachi sighed. Honestly, she thought she was touchy. He was infinitely worse.]

Come on, Mitsunari-san! I promise they're good! I promise on my honor as a maiden.

You underestimate my pain! It runs far too deep in my soul to be sated by mere chocolates.

[Mitsunari takes promises and honor and such quite seriously. He will at least believe that they probably taste good.

But his feelings, Kodachi. His feelings. He is actually offended over this.]

[Oh, good lord.]

I never said they'd assuage your pain completely! They'll just relieve it a little bit - make things better for a little while.

And besides, they taste nice. Good tasting food is important for boosting morale.

[She trotted closer to him, laying a hand on his arm.]

Just give it a try and I promise I'll stop bothering you! These are a gift, and I'd hate to see them go to waste . . .

[Kodachi's elaboration has put a damper on his spark of "righteous" indignation.

Life's little pleasures, the things that stave off the sadness, have usually been lost on him because he's never sought them out, yet certain people on this ship have been trying quite hard to introduce them to him.

He is doubtful candy is going to do much for his mood or anything, but fine. Fine. He will try it, and Kodachi will leave him be.

He still doesn't know why she would give him a gift. Such an unnecessary gesture. There are more useful ways to show... friendship?]

I will overlook your careless words for now... In the future, do not speak so flippantly. Understood?

[He finally snatches up a candy, looks it over once, and pops it in his mouth. It's rich and sweet with a filling he can't identify. He doesn't know exactly how he feels about it, because it's a little flavorful next to what he's comfortable with.

But it's not awful. It's not even absurdly spicy.

Speaking of which, perhaps it's his imagination, but it seems to be easing the effects of the ice cream.]

...There. I have eaten your chocolate. Now cease pestering me over it.

[It was almost with a sigh of relief that Kodachi watched him eat the bit of chocolate. He had much to learn about enjoying the little things, like a nice piece of chocolate on a gloomy day. Then again, most of his days were gloomy, so that probably necessitated a lot of chocolate.]

[She closed the cardboard box and passed it to him.]

Happy Valentine's Day, Mitsunari-san!

[She beamed at him. Kodachi, perhaps, would never really have a brain-to-mouth filter . . . but at least maybe she'd learn not to mention "easy" remedies to . . . well, his angst.]

[After all, she had to burn an island down to find relief.]

[He takes the cardboard box, initially confused by her words as he forgot this was about Valentine's Day to begin with.]

This pointless holiday... A waste of time.

[That is what he decided Valentine's Day was after speaking to Ragna.

The chocolate wasn't bad, but in the end, he's not one for sweets. Even knowing it is a gift, he hands the box back to Kodachi, because manners are of no consequence to him.]

Keep them for yourself if you think them so beneficial.

[You might expect him to sound disdainful, but he doesn't. His tone is surprisingly neutral.]

[She passed them back to him.]

They're a gift, so don't give them back to me. You can do whatever else you want with them. Perhaps share them with everyone else. But it would be a pity for me to take it back.

[Kodachi smiled, at least appreciating that he hadn't tossed them overboard the first opportunity he got.]

[The day he takes a box of chocolates and shares it with the entire crew is the day hell freezes over...

Mitsunari looks at the chocolates with mild annoyance. He's going to just get rid of them one way or another, but he doesn't try and make her take them back again.

He turns to leave.]

Refrain from buying me any more "gifts" I didn't ask for.

[Kodachi believed that somehow, he appreciated her gift. Somewhere in the cockles of his heart. Yes, she also believed that he had a heart.]

[So she just beamed at him, even as he departed from her. No, she wasn't going to stop giving him gifts.]

You're welcome!

You shouldn't trick your crewmates, Kodachi. It's unbecoming.

Oh, he won't die from it. A little wasabi never killed anyone.

Besides, I'm offering him something nice in return!

[A small sigh.]

Mitsunari has difficulty trusting others. You could have picked a kinder target.

That is true, but don't worry, Miss Xun Yu.

Have you ever tried chocolate?

I... no.

[And then she magically found Xun Yu, because she was creepy like that.]

Hello.

[She held out the red box of chocolates.]

Have one!

[Mitsunari wasn't going to say anything, but -- ]

...Hmph. It's a petty vexation in the end.

She still shouldn't have pestered you just to trick you. She's not a child you should have to indulge.

[Sorry for the fuss, Mitsunari. It's just that she's a stickler for treating comrades with respect. ~~Except for Ragna.~~]

You don't need to tell me that. Don't think I am going to allow her to get away with it.

[Nobody was ever stupid enough to play pranks on him back in the Toyotomi, so he has less suitable punishments in mind than he would have for more... let's call them meaningful offenses. Ones unrelated to ice cream.]

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♥ 007 | voice; backdated to the 14th, action for the Katabami

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