piratejournal | Prayer 1- Voice

The voice is a little wavering and unsteady, but quiet and reverent all the same.

Are you there, Heavenly Father?

It's me, Kevin.

I know I've done the unthinkable, abandoning Elder Cunningham in Uganda and breaking rule seventy-two- and I understand that it's Your righteous judgement that I've not done enough to be forgiven. I thought at first that- well, that's not important. He clears his throat. I should never have questioned You, and this is my punishment-

No, not my punishment. This is the opportunity that You've granted me to redeem myself.

I read the words on the fountain, thanks to the guide You placed in my path. 'What once was whole, now 'tis shattered'- I understand! Now, his voice steadies. It's been my mission all along, to do something so incredible- to gather together these tortured souls that have been shattered from beneath Your sight and make them whole again. Make all of us whole again.

'It's power is great, true depths untold'- it's the power inside of me. I understand now.

So, Lord- if You could see fit to put a patient, forgiving crew in my path as well, I would really appreciate it- I understand You help those who help themselves, but growing up in Utah didn't really prepare me for sailing- not that I'm complaining, mind you, it's just an observation.

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Silence! Lord Hideyoshi's weaknesses? Who are you to speak of such things?

He didn't just swallow a little harder than normal, not at all.

...Any human being has weaknesses. It's part of being human.

[Anything that could be remotely construed as criticism towards Hideyoshi doesn't go over so well with Mitsunari.]

What of that lord of yours? Are you saying he is without weakness?

He is. God is omniscient and omnipotent. A human man, no matter how virtuous, still has his weaknesses, but God is without them- and he can forgive us ours.

...I do not know of any infallible gods.

Kevin is almost vibrating with hope.

Would you like to hear of one?

[A potential convert he is not, but nevertheless, Mitsunari is a little curious.]

Tell me of this so-called omnipotent being... but do not waste my time.

Kevin is practically beaming through the journal.

The Lord God created the heavens and the Earth, and all the creatures within them. He is without time and limit. He created humanity, man and woman alike, to bear dominion over all the plants and the animals. He is the Father of all things, and also the Ruler of all things, and judges all souls when their lives end- whether they spend eternity in bliss with Him, or in eternal torment. When humanity became too wicked, too far removed from His sight, he sent his spirit to Earth in human guise to take on all the punishment, to be crucified, so that we would be humbled and could be forgiven again.

[Given all he's seen, for all he knows, there really is some kind of god like this out there in the universe. Maybe not omniscient and omnipotent -- that's a bit much. Mitsunari won't so easily accept the existence of a being like that. He's still convinced he can fight Davy Jones...) But no matter how impressive he sounds, there's only one person out there Mitsunari will ever care to follow.]

I need only Lord Hideyoshi's forgiveness. No one else's.

[And that is that.]

But grant me this question; what judgment does your God bestow upon traitors? I find the sin of betrayal unpardonable.

That isn't a nervous swallow. Of course not.

Betrayal... that is a sin punishable by Hell, by eternal torment of the worst kind. A man must keep his promise. Otherwise...

Kevin trails off.

Otherwise he is a worthless cur, and eternal torment itself is too merciful a fate!

[...He might be thinking of a certain individual in particular he'd like to see damned to hell forever and ever.]

Um...

Just out of curiosity, uh... what's worse than eternal torment?

He's not intimidated at all, oh no.

You miss the point. Eternal punishment in death is the worst retribution I can imagine, and yet...! Even that isn't good enough! It is insufficient! Because the wound dealt by betrayal does not ebb, it continues forever!

You're... you're right.

Kevin sounds like he's been wounded himself- right through the heart.

You're absolutely right.

...Have you betrayed another?

[He knows Kevin was talking about breaking some kind of rule in his entry to the journal.]

It would be a lie to not own up to it. Kevin doesn't turn things off.

I left someone behind when they didn't agree that we should flee. Someone I was bound to never leave. So in my heart, yes I have.

...I believe that's why I'm here. To atone.

[Mitsunari is wholly unsympathetic. He's got issues pertaining to this subject.]

So you are a coward and a traitor. Hmph. Pray that your chance for atonement has not yet already passed.

Kevin is not expecting sympathy from anyone, least of all this guy.

I am both of those things. There's no point in denying it. All I can hope is that I'm still alive because the Heavenly Father still has use for me somehow- that I've been brought here because there is still work for me to do.

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