piratejournal | Longest Night; [voice/action for Stargazer]

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Longest Night; [voice/action for Stargazer]

This is Princess Luna, of the Stargazer. The black fog has begun to encroach upon our ship. I attempted to keep it at bay with wind, but that method proved ineffective, so I am going to try something more hooves-on. Whatever this is, 'tis...not precisely nightmare magic, but it seems similar enough that I wish to see if I can dispel it magically. I shall report upon my results shortly!

[Roughly fifteen minutes later, the journal picks up again with a somewhat different voice. Or maybe it's just Luna speaking in a different tone? It's a little difficult to say.]

Hahahahahaaaa! Victory is mine! Bow before your queen, pathetic humans - for you will never see your precious sun again!

[Cue evil laugh. You can probably consider that a report on her results.]

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Sister.... why did you have to go poke the mysterious black fog?

[As upset as Celestia is, she isn't acknowledging it externally.]

Ah.

Good evening, sister. What, no precious little speeches to give?

[Ignoring that question...but come on, Celestia. Were this any other situation, she would be the best at poking mysterious black fog!]

[She warned you and warned you...]

What is there to say? This is not Equestria, and you cannot affect the moon here any more than I can affect the sun. What do you hope to accomplish?

[Except to hurt her. And if that is the case...]

It's already done, Celestia.

[Okay even she knows she's lying, but as long as it's happening anyway...]

Unless you're going to try to stand in my way?

Nightmare Moon is a monster of my creation. [A sad and solemn pronouncement, that she believes down to her soul.] You and I both know perfectly well that I cannot allow you to harm innocents.

I merely intend to take what is rightfully mine. If the humans wish to stand against me, that is their folly.

An argument worthy of Discord. All he wished was to have his fun, and if ponies wished to stand against him...

Discord was no rightful ruler! He did not have his throne and his subjects stolen from beneath his very nose!

[Looks like Discord is still persona non grata, at least.]

By his logic, no doubt he did, when we used the Elements of Harmony on him. If you believe that I stole your throne and your subjects, your logic is worse than his, for at least we turned him to stone and stripped him of his power in the process!

Of course, I forgot what a paragon of perfection you are. It is so much kinder to keep your poor little sister around where ponies may mock and revile her, increasing your own glory with every slight.

[Look, this isn't really an argument where logic is going to prevail, okay?]

[Celestia knows that perfectly well. But every verbal sling and barb Nightmare Moon pierces the Princess of the Day with a magical barb she is NOT attacking innocents with. With distance separating them, all Celestia can do is try to keep the nightmare's attention focused on her.]

And so you will attempt to cast me down again, then?

[Oh look she's doing the glowy eye thing. She probably thinks she looks terribly menacing. Maybe she does? It's all perspective really]

If you insist.

[Menacing is a point of view. Certainly Celestia is afraid, but not of Nightmare Moon attacking her.]

You know I will not let you bring harm to my crew.

[Snort]

I care not for your little vassals. I shall see to them later.

[She was only hoping to lure Nightmare Moon here. Perhaps a direct challenge...]

Not if you are unable to.

We shall see about that.

[HERE SHE COMES CELESTIA

JUST GIVE HER LIKE THIRTY SECONDS TO WORK OUT THE NAV okay here she comes and she is just going to shoot lighting right away because what is subtlety? Maybe she'll even set this whole wooden ship on fire!]

[That evil laughter sends a chill up his spine like something out of a ghost story and he thinks to himself that Luna is not that scary. Actually, pretty sweet.

Which is why when he sees her all nightmared out - Remy isn't quite sure if he should reach for his trusty exploding cards just yet.]

Uh...Lune?

[This is a joke right?]

[She spreads her wings for increased looming ability.]

The name is Nightmare Moon, you fool!

[yep nope Luna's not home right now]

[Okay, so not a joke.

Shit. is the only succinct thought that crosses his mind and Remy holds up his hands in a placating fashion. Or what would be placating for someone who didn't make things explode with said hands.]

If you say so, uh - Nightmare Moon.

[Please to be not attacking me.]

[She just tosses her mane with a disdainful snort. At least he isn't trying to be some kind of hero.]

This vessel is completely unsuitable for a Queen. If you intend to remain in my service, you may accompany me to capture another. [...Luna usually doesn't refer to him as anything like a servant, just her crew, but okay. At least we're getting into real honest-to-goodness piracy.]

[Remy decisively ignores how much Luna - or not!Luna, right now - is reminding him of someone else he knows. Or knew. Whichever. It's less important to his ego than the actual bid for real piracy is. Stealing things is more than an addiction now and it's been a little too long since he's done anything but lift from someone's pocket.

Stealing a ship sounds awesome.]

Iffin' y'don' wanna get yo' hands - er, hooves? - dirty, I'd be happy t'do dat m'self.

[Just be deferential, and eager to please - these are Remy's two rules for living with crazy.]

[Well. Stroking her ego is a definite way to get her to agree to things. And really, isn't taking a ship on her own a bit beneath her?]

Very well. [She's suddenly right there to loom over him - mysteriously, she appears to be almost a head taller than Luna typically is.] I have my own matters to attend to. I expect that you will be finished when I return.

[He's relieved she isn't reacting badly to the flattery. Old tactics work well for a reason.]

And uh -- when can I expect ya back?

[As if it's a side thought, he hastily adds on:] Y'majesty?

[Oh good call on the Your Majesty-ing!]

I am simply going to cast my sister down in flames. I should not be terribly long.

[oh okay if that's all]

[....oh my god she is evil. Remy can't quite be sure if it's terrifying or awesome. It'll be more fun in retrospect. Hopefully.]

Oh. Well, dat shouldn' take too long should it?

[Maybe he should try to figure out who she's related to?]

[You could probably just put the word out to sparkly winged unicorns in general - how many can there be?]

It should not. Pray that you are as successful as I.

[And BAM she's off. So hey have fun with that man]

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Longest Night; [voice/action for Stargazer]

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action - oh lawdsy here we go

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