piratejournal | [voice - and forever action for Spades]

You know, it really sucks when people disappear... One of my best friends is gone and... it hurts. She was real important to me. I've been here for more than a year now, and there are people here that I'd do anything for. So of course it stings when they're gone. But...

...but instead of just being sad all the time, I think this means that we should always be grateful for the people that we do have, all the awesome friends that are still with us. If anything, we should keep them as close as we can, have as much fun as we can. No one knows what's gonna happen tomorrow.

So get together with the people you care about the most, and the ones you love the most. Make sure they know just how much they mean to you.

Have fun, everyone!

[Private to Spades]

Hey guys - wanna hang out? I'm up on deck if you wanna join in - I've got drinks and candy, and I've brought my guitar too! See ya soon!

*Of course she knows that she's not the only Spade that will be hurting with Chandra's disappearance. But instead of wallowing or running away, Selphie has chosen the happier option. Out on deck, Selphie has dragged her own duvet and pillows, and Chandra's too. There are a few bottles of various alcohols (including one very bright green one, and a very bright pink one - obviously Selphie's own choices), and there was a small spread of her own personal supply of candy. Selphie sat on a pillow, waiting to see if anyone would come along to keep her company, strumming her guitar and singing softly*

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think I'd have to practice anyway, moving around is already weird on its own.

[It's a very important question! Lea told him to find a girl to ask!]

Uh, yeah, I'm not really sure how big they are either. I don't know how to tell.

[It's not like he's really noticed, actually.]

Big enough, probably. I mean, it's a little heavy on my chest. Then I have to do something about my hair.

[Cut it off, probably, his hair was crazy enough when it was short. Long it just looks like a mess to him.]

Well, you can usually tell by how heavy they are. And if they bounce and hurt when you run. That's basically the worst thing - and that's why you'll need a bra.

*Suddenly, this is all too hilarious for Selphie, and bursts out laughing*

Maybe you can go lingerie shopping with Lea and pick out something cute and frilly!

[Roxas blinks a bit. He doesn't mind her laughing, it could be funny if it wasn't happening to him, although Lea didn't laugh, mostly he was freaked out at first.]

I don't think Lea knows anything about how to help. He tried to guess I think, but even touching them he didn't know.

[He sighs a bit.]

I have to get the ink off me first. I lost at cards and Lea put ink all over me. We played um...

[What was that game again?]

The card game and if you lost you had to take clothes off. He beat me anyway.

Urgh...

*Selphie makes a noise and pulls a face at her journal, not that Roxas can see. The idea of Lea touching Roxas' boobs kinda weirds her out a bit. Then with mention of taking clothes off*

Roxas, the whole world doesn't need to know about your sex life, you know!

[Roxas sounds completely bewildered.]

What sex thing?

[Lea was teaching him to play strip poker. Which he lost, terribly.]

I don't mean actual sex sex just - all this stripping and kissing and cuddling you do with Lea. You're supposed to keep that sorta stuff kinda private, you know?

Wait, who told you I kissed him?! Did I say that? He's going to kill me!

[Apparently some things are indeed private.]

I'm pretty sure you did... Sometime... Once...

*Maybe he'd been talking naively or something before, but still*

But yeah... Getting naked with Lea is a private thing too, you know.

He usually tells me when it's private.

[Muttering under his breath.]

He's just going to kill me.

What? Why would he kill you?

*Selphie sounds far less than impressed about that*

Because I said I would keep quiet about the kissing thing, but I didn't.

[Clearly, because Selphie knew about it and Lea is probably not going to be impressed with him. He lets out a frustrated whine.]

What - you think I'm gonna go around telling people? I'm not gonna go telling Lea, that's for sure!

*Yeahh...still not happy with him. She sighs, feeling pretty sorry for Roxas*

Look, you need to stop being so scared of him. It's not good for you.

No, I don't think that. I don't think you'd tell people, I just mean I did.

[He's annoyed with himself. It's a feeling that's been increasing as of late. But when she continues his tone changes to more of a confused tone.]

I'm not scared of him. I just...I don't want to disappoint him. I think I do that a lot sometimes.

But so what? I mean - it's pretty obvious something is going on with you and Lea...

*Selphie isn't really understanding this, but she sighs at the last thing he says*

Yeah, well, people disappoint each other. And screw him - I bet you don't disappoint him nearly as much as you think!

It is? Oh, but I don't think Lea really wants people to know about it! Something about people not liking him for it...I don't really remember everything he said.

[He sighs softly, thinking about it.]

I don't know. I hope not. I'm trying not to.

Well, Lea's stupid. Stupid because it's obvious, and stupid if he thinks you're a disappointment.

*Clearly her estimations of Lea are still very low*

So don't worry about it, okay?

I didn't know it was obvious. The Captain was surprised.

I don't think he thinks that. He gets mad at me when I say I'm stupid or whatever. I just...it's complicated and when I forget stuff I feel so mad now. At me, I mean.

[He's feeling a little self conscious as of late.]

I try not to worry but it's hard. Lea thinks if I could just join Sora, my head will get straightened out.

What the hell?

But you're not Sora - you're Roxas. On your own.

*Yeah, she's ignored all that other stuff - she thinks that Lea is bad for Roxas, but it's not her place to say*

Yeah, I am. But some of Sora's memories are still in here or something. I'm not too sure everything Naminé did to me when she was messing around in my head. Lea also thinks I have a heart, that I grew one so I'm hoping that means I can...be myself after all that.

I think you have a heart. And I think you should stop worrying about things so much and just enjoy being you. Even if you are a girl right now.

Being a girl is okay, just weird.

[There's a bit of a pause.]

I'm not sure how to stop worrying about it though. I could go home anytime.

Which is exactly why you should be enjoying every minute you can. If you can leave at any time, you should be having as much fun here with the people here while you can!

I'm trying to do that. I guess most of the time this place is pretty fun.

Exactly! Focus on the good fun stuff - that's the best we can do.

[voice - and forever action for Spades]

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