Week 51

[scurveydog]

Hello, me wee beasties.

Interestin' ta think ye been a year here now and look at all ye've accomplished an' all the shards ye've collected. Oh an bein' manipulated by a sea witch. Good job on that one. For a moment I actually thought ye had it all together! We won't even mention the fact that one 'o ye idiots decided to wreak havoc on Empieza just because they were dropped here just like everyone else and someone stepped on his wee little toe.

At least th' rest 'o ye didn't go about antagonizin' the Navy, settin' islands ablaze, punchin' princes in their faces, impregnatin' goddesses and otherwise causin' chaos in this world.

That'd just make ye morons right?

Right.

Hain't got much fer ye this time around. Some news is brewin' but I'll be sittin' on that fer now--other than it's 'bout time fer kraken activity ta be pickin' up in th' south so be careful 'o that. They're vicious this time 'o year. Tartle will be in th' North from about th' 24th til th' end 'o the month.

Also Dog's been keepin ye in her thoughts and has a little surprise comin' up fer ye in just a handful of days. A little anniversary present if ye will. I'm sure someone'll get a kick out 'o it.


Weather goes as follows:

North: Definite chill in th' air fer th' next two weeks. Watch out fer mornin' frost an' evenin' chills. Be expectin a cold snap about mid week where I don' think a scarf'll do ye.

East: Cool an' balmy, expect some storms but hain't much excitin' goin' on wi' the weather or much else there. Ye might expect ta see th' Maiden's Hair comet there startin on Sunday if ye look toward th' midpoint 'o the sky. Supposed 'ta be good luck so take as much as ye can get.

West: Hot an' windy. Ashy, too as I hear a volcano erupted on one 'o th' sequestered islands. Most got out alright except for a bunch of jailed bastards who were pirates just like ye. Also I hear Crazyface be patrollin' and somethin's got his hackles up as he's bein' pretty aggressive.

South: Wind, rain an' krakens as far as th' eye can see. Try not ta get dead.


Ye lot hae one question as usual.

Comments

[hostclubshadowking]

Well, the one thing we can't be accused of is making it a dull year for you, Miss Dog.

[scurveydog]

I'd rather have had a thousand dull years ta be honest. Ye'd think I don't have enough ta do wi'out tryin' ta herd a bunch 'o idiot cats that just seem ta like ta knock shit over.

[hostclubshadowking]

I can only imagine. I apologize on behalf of all of us, even the ones who don't think they have any cause to give one.

[scurveydog]

I know ye mean well lad, but yer apologies are less than air. Ye've done nothin' and hain't gonna turn th' sky from blue ta apologize fer people ye've no control over.

Private; Written

[thetruehistorian]

What is the best method to destroy one of these journals in order to ensure it will never return to its owner?

[scurveydog]

Ye got some conspiracy on yer mind? Tell me what ye wish it fer and I may or may not answer yer question.

[thetruehistorian]

I've heard rumor there is one journal that is not meant to belong to someone, which now somehow does. I wish to rid him of it. It's better that they remain a form of communication free from interlopers, is it not?

[scurveydog]

And what exactly are ye plannin' ta do? Find it and take it from him? Enterprisin' of ye. Stupid. But enterprisin'.

Ta answer yer question. No. It takes a delicate balance and once things're taken, they're taken. I do what I can ta lock certain people out but I hae ta sleep sometime an' Meep hain't th' most reliable.

[thetruehistorian]

I see. Thank you for your answer.

[scurveydog]

Yer welcome and be careful what ye say. Not speakin' doesn't always mean not listenin'.

[thetruehistorian]

I am well aware.

i can't believe i'm doing this

[freeadvice]

[One question, huh?

And she is a she.

It's hard to tell if he's just being an asshole or...just being an asshole.]

Y'single?

[scurveydog]

That be none 'o yer business... But ye need a few more inches an' actual muscle ta get inta my yard. Just keep puddlin' around in th' shallows where ye belong.

[freeadvice]

Ouch. You wound me, mademoiselle.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS MORON. Voice

[om_nom_namur]

'Sup Sweetheart? How y' been? That time a year for the krakens, huh? Sheheheh! Wonder if they change colors...

[scurveydog]

Glad ta see yer alright. Was a bit worried there, Gills. Hain't gonna answer here but if yer free sometime in th' next week I gotta itch that needs scratchin'.

[om_nom_namur]

Well I got rough skin so I guess that works out. Try t' keep yer damn clouds under control this time, huh?

[scurveydog]

Ye know what they say. When th' waves start surgin', ye can't stop th' boat.

[om_nom_namur]

That ain't a very catchy thing for 'em t' say.

Out a curiosity, how long can y' hold yer breath?

[scurveydog]

[cute a burst of wild laughter before she writes:]

That be a question but long enough.

[om_nom_namur]

Good. Cuz some things get better the deeper y' go. Catch my drift?

[scurveydog]

Here's lookin' forward ta it. And I may hae a thing or two ta show meself.

[om_nom_namur]

Say when an' where, sweetheart. I'll keep an ear out.

[scurveydog]

That I will, my Gilly Boy. That I will.

[voice]

[yourotherleft]

I DIDN'T IMPREGNATE ANYBODY!!

[scurveydog]

Hain't got a need ta yell at me. I hain't judgin' yer virility, such as it be. Though that hain't what she's sayin' and it be quite a sordid tale from what I hear. Lot'sa mentions of quiverin' lances.

[yourotherleft]

What the hell?! What kind of rumors...?!

I didn't even touch the woman!

[scurveydog]

That be a question, but just fer ye, I can compile them and release 'em in digest form. It should be entertainin' readin'. No mention though if th' carpet matches the drapes. Damn pity that.

[yourotherleft]

[audible verbal keysmash]

I wasn't asking to ask a question, it just came out! I don't wanna know! Nobody needs to know!

[scurveydog]

Everyone will soon enough. Not from old Dog. I was tweakin' yer nose about that. But rumors'll catch up an' go wild as they do so may as well expect th' worst 'o em.

[yourotherleft]

Dammit.

Nothing. Happened. She tried to knife me, that's about all that did happen.

[scurveydog]

Hain't goin' ta do a bit 'o good convincin' me. I hain't the one after yer golden eggs.

[yourotherleft]

GHK! My what? EW! Shut up!

Dammit all to hell!

[scurveydog]

Don't ye be tellin' me ta shut up unless ye sorely wish ta regret it.

[yourotherleft]

[WELL SHIT.

No, he knows well enough to slam the book shut right there.]

[knightlydiary]

As it seems you've already answered one question and quite firmly turned down one man's romantic advances, I suppose all that is left for me is to say that, as a new arrival to this place, I place myself in your no doubt lovely and capable hands and give you my gratitude for your guidance. Should you ever lack for companionship, look no farther than Ringabel, newly appointed navigator of the Blue Sky Pirates~

[scurveydog]

[another bout of wild laughter, then written]

Get some hair on yer chest afore ye come knockin' on these doors.

[knightlydiary]

I fear all efforts in that direction on my part have proved fruitless.

[scurveydog]

Sad fer ye. Though I hear they make a salve fer that.

[knightlydiary]

[Don't give him ideas.]

I fear I don't have much faith in salve-makers, but I shall take your word for it.

[Shot down again.]

Should you ever find yourself in the mood for a chest more like that of a finely sculpted marble statue, know that mine is available.

[He can write these things with a straight face. It's a gift.]

[scurveydog]

Plywood mayhap. A weathered stick in a gale. Find yerself another tree ta bark up, laddie boy, but better make sure it be a saplin'.

[knightlydiary]

I see, I see, so it's my youth that's the issue. Sadly, there's very little I can do about that. I am sailing with an older gentleman, though, so if you'd ever like an introduction, I could be of service in that way.

[scurveydog]

I can get me own wi'out needin' a pimp, thank'ee. But if ye put that service to th' test, ye might find quite a market. Hain't heard 'o many lonely ladies, but there seem ta be lonely gen'lmen in droves.

[knightlydiary]

I'll pass.

[scurveydog]

Suit yerself.

[cherrybombpie]

Oh, a kraken! I want one!

[buttwarmed]

Someone knocked up a goddess, huh...That's crazy. So are we all gonna get stormy weather while she has morning sickness or what?

text;

[secondsmarch]

Sounds like it's been a busy year for everyone involved.