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[he turned around and moved over to the mirror, looking a little shocked.]

How weird. Heh, well I guess it would to be weird if I'd been born like this...

[he tried to imagine for a moment what it'd be like to be comfortable in this body as if he'd had it all his life]

I guess it's not bad. But since I'm used to having a tail, it's really pretty strange not to have one. Feels like losing an arm or a leg might.

[he glanced at Faye, then back at the mirror] I think if I was a human I'd cut my hair, heh. Not a lot of human men have long hair like this...[then he shrugged and turned back towards her, not wanting to stare at himself any longer]

*Faye bit her lip as she watched Thash examine itself, looking at his back and realising how strange it was without a fin, and without his tail. She brought her hand to his back, running her fingers down his spine where his fin usually was*

You don't like it? There are some human men with long hair...

*She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him from behind and resting her chin on his shoulder. When he turned back round she moved away a little, tilting her head at him*

Which body do you like best?

[he liked the feeling of her hand running down his back, but it still felt strange to have no fin there. He'd also liked her arms around him and was tempted to hug her again after turning around. At her question, he scratched the back of his head thoughtfully]

.....honestly? If I had to stay like this id feel kinda...crippled. No tail, and no gills means I lose an entire world of water I can survive and thrive in. I'd even have to catch fish with a pole and fishing line or a net... I don't think Id like that.

Now if I were still under the impression that I couldn't find love without being either a human or an Aquarian, I...might like the body more and wish I could stay like this. The ocean and gills are great, but the water's pretty frickin' lonely without anyone to share it with. But now that I have you and don't feel so rejected...I like my shark body a lot more.

....with all that said though it'd be kinda nice not to have to worry about the possibility of accidentally hurting you with my teeth and claws. Might make intimacy with you a little easier and more relaxed for me. But it hasn't been a significant problem so far, which is awesome.

*It was nice to hug him like that from behind, since she wasn't able to do that with a fin in the way. She nodded as he explained, knowing very well that it must be a shame to lose a whole underwater world. And she knew that he loved that side of things. When he mwntioned feeling lonely, Faye lowered her eyes, but when Thash said that she made him feel better about himself now, she looked up with a smile*

Smile for me?

*She wanted to see that big smile of his and how it suited with his new human teeth. As it was, Faye knew there were places his claws couldn't go, but she did have to nod in general agreement*

For a sharky and a human girl, I think we've been doing okay so far, don't you? No so horribly incompatible, hm?

[hed tried to smile a little when she asked him, but his smile turned much more genuine and big when she said they weren't incompatible]

Heh, yeah, I agree! Seems like all my fears about that were pretty unnecessary. As long as I take my time and get used to something slowly at first, I can do most things a human guy could without hurting you...

[or himself for that matter. For the next move he wanted to try on her sometime he'd be more worried about cutting his own tongue than anything on her...]

Uh...speakin' of comparability though, there's something I've kinda been wanting to talk to you about...if you're in the mood?

[he tried to keep smiling mostly, thinking that maybe heavy subjects didn't always have to be unpleasant. Maybe if he kept a positive tone it'd be less daunting and more enjoyable]

Edited 2014-08-25 21:45 (UTC)

*Looking at his human smile, which was still gorgeous, Faye realised there was something especially unique and charming about his shark smile*

No, I don't think you have to worry about hurting me.

*She smiled kindly at him, and though right then she wasn't thinking the exact same thing that he was, Faye had wondered a few times how that might work, for both of them*

Uh..sure. What is it?

*She had a vague idea what kind of thing this might be about, but she crossed her legs anway, watching him curiously as she waited for whatever it was he wanted to ask or say*

[first, Thash changed back into a body like his normal one. He just felt a lot more comfortable in it and wanted to be comfortable while talking to her. Then he sat next to her, giving her a shy look]

Um I kinda wanted to talk to you about... Well, full intimacy. And what I think about it and...I know it's an uncomfortable thing for you to talk about but ...what could make you pregnant or not.

[he scratched his neck a bit but hurriedly added,]

I hope the topic won't drag you down too much though? It could be a nice thing to talk about if we make it that way.

*That he was back looking nore like hinself made Faye feel more comfoetable already. She blinked when he said what he wanted to talk about, looking down at her knees as she spoke*

Before we start I need to say that yes, this is pretty uncomfortable for me. I've never had to explain this sort of thing before...

*But she made an efffort to sound as sofr and comfortable as possible*

Firstly, the only way I, or any human woman, can get pregnant is by...'full intimacy'. Nothing else is going to do that..

*Though she wasn't sure that Thash was entirely aware of what other possibilities there were in terms of what they could do together*

Secondly, there are lots of things women can do to make sure they don't get pregnant. Right now, I can't because of pills I take.

*Then she paused to he could ask or say what he liked*

[he frowned slightly when she acknowledged it was uncomfortable...he decided to try to keep the discussion short and to the point. He hated making her feel awkward, especially because of things like this...this certainly wasn't something she'd have to do if she were with a guy who knew these things already]

[he was relieved to hear there was only one way to get her pregnant, and the kinds of things they'd done recently didn't fall into that category. He was surprised at the mention of a pill, though]

There's a....pill you can take for that? Whoa...how on earth does that....[he stopped himself] no, never mind. I don't need to know how it works. It always works though?

*It was strange to talk about, and strange to think about. Having children was so far from her mind but one day...with him, would it even work? Biologically? It was a part of him that was very human, anyway. She shook her head slowly from her thoughts, blinking at him shyly*

It works by... Wait. I think you should find a book about this stuff, or ask someone else. This isn't the kind of conversation people usually have with their girlfriends... It's just biology. Or chemistry. Or whatever. It always works, unless I forget to take it, or unless I've been throwing up a lot. And in those cases there's always - well, something else that can be used.

*Faye uncrossed her legs, then crossed them again, disliking this conversation so much because she shouldn't be giving sex education to the guy she really wants to sleep with. That's just...strange. And she really doesn't want to put him off*

Oh? Ok then, cool. [he still tried to sound upbeat in an effort to make this not so bad for her]

I've always... thought of doing that as something I'd...only do with a woman I married. A big part of that choice is the pregnancy thing. I hope you understand... With my background, fathering a child with a woman that doesn't want one or doesn't want to stay with me in the long run might...give the kid a crappy life, you know? I don't want to make someone who'll have a life like mine without parents who care...

[he trailed off a bit, his upbeat tone gone]

Another part of it is the bonding thing I already mentioned. I'm only telling you this so...you don't think there's some other reason I haven't done that with you. I'm sure guys that share your view on it and knew about the pill thing think nothing of it, and would only refuse to sleep with you if they thought there was something wrong with you, or....I dunno, didn't like you or something. Those aren't my reasons. There's nothing wrong with you and I like you a lot... Well screw that, you know Iove you.

[now that he knew about her contraceptive capability, it took away half of his reason not to sleep with her....but the emotional bonding component was still important to him. He wanted to think it over more before telling her his mind had changed, if I did. In the meantime, he didn't want her having the wrong idea about why he wasn't doing that with her]

*Faye listened to Thash, and did her best not to appear frustrated or disappointed with any of this. It took a lot of effort, but she did finally managed to give an expression that suggested that she didn't really mind, playing it cool. She could have guessed at his views though - he hadn't even kissed his previous girlfriend, and it took an understanding of love before he'd kissed her. She had to fight not to be angry and upset at the knowledge that she wasn't going to get something that she deeply wanted - marriage and children were far from her agenda*

Right. So. Those are your principles. Fair enough.

*She folded her arms rather defensively over her chest, smiling somewhat distantly*

At least I know that it isn't because you think there's something wrong with me. I was beginning to wonder..

*Faye tried to make it sound like a light hearted joke, but she also meant it. It really was good to know that it wasn't because he was grossed out by her or anything*

[even though she was playing cool, he could sense she was pretty upset by her tone and posture... The somewhat cold smile was a give away, too. He sighed a bit, scooting a little closer to her and raising a hand tentatively to scratch her back]

I thought you might be. I didn't want you thinking the wrong thing. I can tell you're still disappointed though....I'm sorry.

[he looked down a bit, feeling rather terrible. He hated letting her down and sometimes it felt like he did that more than he made her happy. He'd felt pretty excited about the advances they were making lately but at some point he had to remind himself that such things probably weren't as satisfying for her]

I'm kinda a bad boyfriend, huh...

*It was pretty disappointing to her, so she wasn't going to tell him otherwise just to make him feel better. That's just now how she works. Faye leaned against him gently, allowing him to scratch her back in that way that always seemed to calm her somehow*

Don't be sorry. And you're not a bad boyfriend. I'm just impatient and... I'm terrible when I know there's something I really want, but that I can't have it. You know what I'm like...

*She shrugged at that, but maybe Thash didn't completely know the lengths she went to to get what she wants, and she didn't always get those things fairly. This, though, was of course not something she was going to take by force*

Anything else you wanted to ask, or talk about?

[even if she had told him otherwise, he was pretty good at detecting wether she was saying what she really meant or not by now. He had to wonder for a few moments if these views of his would eventually result in him losing her... He knew that kind of thing was important to her, which was why he was really trying to keep her as satisfied as possible even if it meant pushing the limits of his comfort level. It was somewhat disappointing to him to know those efforts were still insufficient]

[it was times like these when he really wondered if, despite their physical compatability, they were emotionally compatible or not]

No...nothing really important anyway.

[he wanted to change the subject now...he'd said what he wanted to say and learned what he'd wanted to learn. There was no point in dwelling on a subject that was upsetting to both of them. So much for making it a pleasant conversation...at least she wasn't openly mad at him. When she leaned against him he leaned his head against hers lightly, continuing the soothing scratching]

Have you met the new people yet? They've guarded me but I haven't really spoken to them much... It's really kinda embarrassing being in that situation. I'd rather just avoid talking to 'em in this raccoon body and have a good introduction when I get my own body back...

Okay.

*Faye wasn't sure what else to say, because she sensed already that she'd said the wrong thing. She did have something that she wanted to say, but was thinking that her moment had passed. Especially since he appeared to be making an effort to change the subject*

Hmm? There's a few new people, right? I've spoken to Gene a bit.

[he noticed her pause and thoughtful expression and wondered for a moment if he should have asked her if there was anything in particular she wanted to say or talk about...thus he had a hard time focusing on his own subject change]

Hm? Oh, Gene? The red-haired guy right? [hed heard someone say his name but still hadn't really spoken to him in any significant way. He scratched Faye's back a little higher, close to the neck]

And some ninja like girl named Harmony....and I've smelled the scent of some other male human on board but I'm not really sure cuz I haven't seen him...

[even with the unrelated subject of discussion he couldn't yet shake the feeling that he'd hampered their closeness with his questions and opinions...it was a rather distressing feeling and it made him want to hold her close. He thought about asking first but tossed that idea out, simply reaching over and gathering up Faye in his arms and pulling her over to his lap where he could put his arms and tail around her and cuddle her affectionately. There, that was better]

By the way there wasn't...anything else you wanted to say was there?

Yeah, that's him. He's a gun user too, so I don't feel like such a loner among all you weird sword wielding types.

*Faye raised a brow when he mentioned the other two, briefly wondering to herself if this new ninja girl was pretty. She really hoped not. When he gathered her up close and held her,she did feel much better, slowly moving her arms around him*

Just that... I need you to understand that... this isn't about me just wanting you. Yes, I know, I really am very attracted to you. And I want you very badly sometimes... But this is about wanting to be close you. I want to be as close to you as possible and that's...one way how.

*That she had slept with men she hadn't cared about, but hadn't with Thash felt strange to her too*

Oh...yeah, I thought that was a gun on his hip... [he didn't say anything about it, but he'd certainly noticed Gene was an attractive and confident human guy. That he had the gun thing in common with Faye also made him seem like a guy Faye would probably go after... Thash hoped she wouldn't start to regret being his girl with a man like that on board]

[he held her a little closer when she put her arms around him and listened to what she had to say] so you want to be closer with me... [the idea that she'd slept with guys she didn't care about crossed his mind, too. How interesting that she could see something like that as a way to be close and yet did it with guys she apparently had little desire to be emotionally close to]

[in his mind, the tail piercing she'd given him was a far clearer sign that she wanted to be closer to him, even though he was trying to accommodate her sexual desires too...and finding quite a bit of enjoyment in it himself]

I...felt a lot closer to you after what we did on my birthday. ...did you feel the same way? Or was it just disappointing because you'd like more than that...?

..yes.

*When he said it, Faye felt ridiculous. She could imagine what he was thinking, and it didn't really make sense. But to Faye it did, and she thought that was the strongest way to show her feelings. How it would be with Thash, she knew, would be different to how it was with anyone*

You see? These things can make people feel closer.

*Faye shook her head with some enthusiasm, looking at him in surprise*

No. Thash - that was... good. It felt incredible. Not every man can make a woman feel that way... You noticed, didn't you? How much I enjoyed it...

I know they can... [it was the same line of thinking as the emotional bonding thing, really. He knew he'd feel a lot closer to her if he did that with her. Which made him all the more reluctant to do it if he wasn't sure their relationship would be a long lasting one. Already he knew he'd be broken hearted if their relationship came to an end. How much worse would it be if he felt that much closer to her?]

[he blinked a bit after she shook her head and looked at him] yeah, I...noticed. I mean you seemed like you really, really liked it. [not every man could do that? It had felt incredible? He'd been so sure that his inexperience out him behind in that category that it was very good to hear her say that. All he'd had to do was be responsive to what kind of touch she seemed to like the most, really...]

Which is why I'm a little confused about how disappointed you are we haven't gone all the way and the speed of our progress. I thought I was satisfying you.... You sure satisfied the heck outta me.

[he blushed a little as he thought back on it. It had been so shockingly good it was almost painful. If he hadn't dug his claws into her sheets he probably would have yelled.]

*Faye was beginning to get the feeling again that their ideas of physical and emotional closeness were getting confused. She sighed softly, her arms not quite as tightly around him now. Faye lowered her head, eventually leaning enough that she brought her knees up to her eyes. She didn't know what to think or say or do, but when he said he was confused, she felt a wave of guilt, of that horrible knowledge that she was disappointing him. She sat back up again, raising her shoulders then slouching*

You do satisfy me. And I am happy that things have moved on.

It's not going to happen either way, is it? So. Don't worry about it. We shouldn't think about it.

[he kept his arms and tail around her, but not very tightly so she could adjust herself and sit how she liked]

Well...probably not any time soon but....I don't know. This is still so new to me. You...know I've never let anyone touch me down there before... [he blushed again, glancing away] you're the first. It took quite a bit of love and trust for me to go that far. So...know that at least. My love and trust for you have grown a lot. As they continue to grow, well...who knows.

[he leaned towards her slightly to give her a light kiss on the side of her neck] I also want you to know that...short of full intimacy Id be willing to try other stuff with you. I may not know all of what other stuff is possible but I can learn. If it's awkward to tell me, just...show me or guide me. I'll probably figure it out.

[like how she'd shown him what she could do with her mouth... That was something he intended to put into practice at a later time. The chocolate thing had sounded nice too...there were probably a lot of thing he could do once he got past his nervousness. Pushing his comfort and knowledge level that way until he got past it could be exciting at times]

Sorry. I know you're trying hard, to trust me enough, and to..want to try things. Really, I appreciate it. And you should know that you don't have to do these things, not just because I want you to.

*She smiled a little more, though, thinking his blush was adorable, while also feeling very good anout what he'd said. Faye readjusted the way she was sitting, but kept close to him, nuzzling gently against his chest*

The same goes for you, if there are things you'd like...

[he smiled warmly at her nuzzle and reply, hugging her tighter]

It's not just because it's what you want. Making you happy makes me happy and...I want it too. I just didn't know how much I did before, heh. It's a good thing I had an awesomely patient and hot girlfriend to show me...