piratejournal | [ Death Lotus ✲ 5 ✲ - Voice - Action for people on Bloody Roses ]

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[ Death Lotus ✲ 5 ✲ - Voice - Action for people on Bloody Roses ]

[There is some paper rustling, probably from the journal that is resting on her knees. After several moments of silence, she finally speaks up- the voice calm but oddly cold, as if she is forcing herself to speak that way.]

Hypothetically speaking- what do you do when you miss someone?

[Katarina's sitting on the ratlines of the ship, dagger hanging from her fingers peculiarly. She's been siting outside like this for quite some time, just watching the black water and crescent moon in the distance.

She was unable to sleep past few days. The solid rock mask of a soldier she keeps up during the day tends to get heavy when night falls on the ship. She pushes hair from her face and leans her head against the rope of the ratline. She trained herself to strip away any and all worries that come up- to each his own, is Noxsu's motto.

But being away this long from home... she was unable but to think about her mother, Cassiopeia, Talon, asshole Swain and those barbaric Demacians. But having no news, at all, not even a word, is making her uneasy, restless and sleep deprived.]

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[his eyes widened a little and he looked at her] your sister is half snake? Wow. I'm actually kinda curious how that happened if you feel like sharing. [it couldn't be much worse than the story of how a hybrid like him came into existence]

I guess you'll want to get the shards, then. Apparently whoever can get enough of them or all of them or whatever gets a wish- I'm sure that would include getting to leave here. [he didn't sound too interested in them himself]

In the meantime though, dwelling on what you miss won't help you. Thinking about it now and then will be good motivation I'm sure... But doing something else to keep yourself fit and sharp will get your mind off depressing stuff and give you that much more skill to find those shards with.

[his eyes left her and he looked down into the water] take it from a guy who's wasted way too much of his time lost in pointless thought.

[Katarina shrugs- she doesn't mind telling.] Cassiopeia is a temptress. Or was temptress. She did information gathering from all kinds of people- from Kings to low scum that hides in the slums. Anyway, she got a mission to interrogate a man from Freljord, but it was a hard task and he didn't yield. He made her promise not to tell anyone about it. So she swore the oath he wanted, on his staff. However, that was a curse- she realized that quite late, when she already turned into a snake, after she revealed stuff to our father. She says she doesn't regrets it and that the only thing she misses is her beauty.

[And Kat has no idea how to react to that statement.] Now she is half-snake, yellow and green, with tail. But her magical powers got empowered so she is still useful to battlefield.

[Katarina looks away at the open sea as well-] It's more of a burden of a task I need to do back home than actually missing someone. [Half lie. She does have task home, but she also misses Cassi.] I try not to think about it, and it works during the day. [During the night- not so much.]

[he listened intently as she told how her sister got cursed. That certainly was interesting. He imagined she probably looked like a saltwater Aquarian or mermaid in his world, a human top half with a tail bottom half? When Kat went on to say it was a task and not her family that turned her thoughts towards home, he didn't buy it]

Oh really? You asked what to do when you missed someone, not what to do when worried about a task you can't accomplish. [he gave a small smirk] but don't worry. I get it. I put on a tough guy face a lot too. Can't have people thinking you're weak and sentimental right?

[there were few people he'd trust with his feelings. When it came to others, he was a lot like Kat- he'd pretend he was some kind of stoic warrior with few emotions, unburdened with a weakness like feelings. The only emotion he freely expressed to most people was anger.]

I wish I could give you some good advice on how to keep your mind free of depressing thoughts day and night, but...truth is I haven't quite figured that out myself. I have found one thing helps a lot though...talking to someone. Just talking about anything other than what's bothering you, really. Your thoughts can't bother you much if you're having a conversation about something completely different.

[and, with that said...]

You wanna talk about something else?

[for some people it probably felt good to talk about their problems. But he'd found that sometimes that was just frustrating and only changing the subject could help him feel better. Maybe it was the same for Kat?]

[Katarina gave Thash the 'don't try your luck' look, but it isn't as fierce as it can be in general. She wanted to deflect the subject- she missed her mother and sister, but she was more worried than anything. She doesn't corrects Thash, and is grateful when he suggests to change subject.

Yes, not focusing on the problem of being stuck here for unknown amount of time is going to be helpful.]

I don't know what we can talk about but yes... I'd like to change the subject.

[He notes the warning glance... he can't blame her for not wanting to talk about such things. He doesn't really either]

Alright. There's a couple of things I've been wanting to ask you. I've kinda wondered this for a bit, if it's not going to bring up bad memories or whatever- how did you get that scar on your eye?

[Well she didn't expect that question.]

I got it from a mistake. A very foolish mistake, mind you. I was overzealous on my mission. [She pockets the dagger she was holding and crosses her arms, getting more comfortable.]

It was on my first mission for Noxus' High Command. The sent me on the battlefield, while war between Noxus and Demacia was still raging on. I had the task to dismantle west troops and kill their General. So I waited and killed the man. However- I killed the wrong one. An impostor. [She chuckles.]

When I realized what happened and that the General was ready to charge at our troops, I was devastated. So, without second thought, I marched in between Demacian's troops. My target was General and I killed him. However I used a lot of energy and got wounded by one of his Royal Guards.

[She points at the scar-] That's a reminder for me to think twice and not charge in mindlessly, and to also stay focused and not be deceived again.

oh gotcha. so you were a member of an organized military then? [For some reason he'd thought of her as more of a freelance assassin. He'd never heard of an assassin being part of an army... but then he didn't have a lot of examples to go from]

That does sound pretty reckless, but at least you learned from it. Is it normal for assassins to be part of armies where you're from? [Hm, maybe he'd had the wrong idea form the beginning. better double check that] You ARE an assassin, right?

[Katarina shakes her head-]

Assassin's aren't typically accepted in the armies. At least, not in big numbers. However, it is not unheard of. Putting that aside- my family served the army for generations- my grandfather did, my father did, and now my sister and I do. It just so happened that I was leaning towards assassin type of skills so they trained me for it.

Every country has an assassin. At least in Runttera. Someone who always sits in the shadows and does tactical fighting and eliminating high threat targets.

Oh, so armies typically just have a small number of assassins to go after top people... I guess that makes sense. I've always wondered though... what kind of view on death and killing does a job like that give a person? What kind of view does it give you?

[Well it was more like a combo question... a view on death and a view on killing were two different things. He'd wondered about it for a long time, though. Throughout his life, he thought of 99% of the killing he did as out of necessity. But what if it was just a job to some people? Would they only kill if they felt there was a good reason for it, or would they just kill on a whim? What did they believe happened to those they killed? Grimly enough these were subjects of interest to him]

I don't mind fight. I was born in middle of the war, raised fighting and witnessing bloodshed. I do, however, prefer to have a target than randomly spilling blood. It both takes time and you might get injured for nothing.

[She gets a serious look and stands up, holding for the ratlines-] I serve my country, I always did and I always will. And country always comes first before anything else. If you want to survive, that is. I'd rather die than be marked as a traitor. [An outcast, a disgrace to her family- she will never be that. For her mother, especially for her father. She looks at the open sea-]

Which is why I have to go back. As soon as possible.

[her answer hadn't really directly answered his question, but did give him a little more insight into what made her tick. In paticular, he'd wondered how many people she killed alongside Grell when she'd gone on her little killing spree. Those weren't soldiers or assassination targets, just innocent people getting slaughtered on Grell's whim....he wondered if Kat didn't mind that kind of killing but wondered if he'd sound nosy or judgmental if he asked.{

[He wasn't perfect either...there had been a few times in his life where he'd killed with less than a good reason for it. In general though, he tried to avoid that and only kill in self defense. It had to do with his determination to prove to people he wasn't a mindless monster]

Well, I don't know of any way to get out of here quickly. But if I happen to run across a shard piece I'll let you know...I sure won't need it

[He can ask her that. And the answer would be- anyone and everyone that charged at her that night. She wasn't about to die in some stupid bar fight. As for Grell- she has no opinion about the Captain. She likes to kill and that's okay- Katarina doesn't judge. She killed plenty of innocent people in her life as well so she's not the one to talk.

She gives him a nod and something she doesn't do a lot-]

Thank you. Is it me or you don't really want to leave this place?

[He decided to ask her a little later. Otherwise the curiosity would just keep eating at him. Not that he'd be sitting there judging her either, but a person's views on killing was a good way to figure them out and see what motivated them... or something like that]

[He nodded to her thanks and question]

You're right. I don't want to leave. My home world sucks... pretty much everyone I met there hated me. I even have a bounty on my head which means I got attacked a lot by people I didn't even know. So I like this place much better... the people here seem a little more accepting of shark freaks.

[She raises her eyebrows and gives a little huff-]

I've seen a lot of things- voidlings, yordles, people raised from the dead, that came from the sea, from depths of Shadow Isles, robots that have their own will, witches made of ice, Valkyrie riding boars and imps riding Yetis. Trust me, to me you look like one of the champions that come to fight in the League. [And he has quite some fighting skill too. She was sure that if he applied to the Institute he would be accepted as one of the Champions to fight on the Rift.]

I look like a champion huh? [He shook his head and chuckled a little] Well that's definitely one of the nicest things someone has said I look like. Where I come from, apparently all anyone can see when they look at me is a walking taboo. It's very looked down upon for humans and Aquarians in my world to mate. But I have the blood of both, plus a shark... you might not wanna know how that happened. But point is, I wasn't welcome amongst any communities.

[He shrugged] whatever. I don't care. I got over it...

Still though, it seems to me like I'd be more welcome in a lot of worlds besides my own. Yours, Namur's, this one... but I happened to be born into one that sucked. That's just my luck I guess, hahahah... [He dealt with it by laughing, but it really wasn't a very happy laugh]

Anyway... At least it's nice to know my looks don't bother you too much.

[Katarina shrugged-] You're welcome, I guess. I just say what I mean. [She thinks for a second-] Maybe you should come with me and visit Runttera. Trust me, no one will judge you there. My country has the undead walking around, Insitute has creature of nightmares locked in basement and scarecrow guarding it. Demacians have a dragon and Freljordians have Yetis.

Since you are water lover, you should visit Bilgewater. Pirates, pirate hunters, all sorts of sea creatures like to spend time there. There's even this huge [how can she call it-] suit of armor size of an average house, carrying an anchor with him whole the time.

[he nodded thoughtfully] yeah... It sounds like a place Id like to check out. Thanks for the invitation, but I dunno if it's even possible. People have enough trouble getting back to their homes worlds themselves...who knows if I could visit yours or not.

There is always a way. Only you have to be persistent and find it. [She's not going to say all those cheesy lines about faith and belief and sh-tuff like that.] If that jewel really fulfills a wish, wishing to go back home would have a tweak or two.

Hm. Well, I'll try anyway....then if you're right, maybe I'll be successful.

[at least he felt a little successful right now in distracting her from thinking about the pain of missing people and places]

You going to try to go to sleep soon?

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[ Death Lotus ✲ 5 ✲ - Voice - Action for people on Bloody Roses ]

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