piratejournal | [voice, private to Dave Strider] backdated to July 8th

[he blinked a few times, his head titling. Whoops...he'd been surprised how close Dave had implied they were before, but apparently they weren't good enough buddies to talk about stuff like that]

Uh...my bad. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. You're right, it was nosy....

[also Dave, as awkward as you are, you're probably not as bad as a shark guy who's only ever had one girlfriend his entire life before coming here. Thash is awkward to the max. But he'd though even hard subjects might be fun to talk about with Dave...oh well]

That's....great to hear though? I dunno who those people are haha but steady's a good thing in my opinion. [yeah...steady without that other stuff of course]

[Thash looks confused. Oh well. That's the price Dave pays for being awesome. Some people just don't get the irony.]

No, it's cool. I was just playing with you, bro.

[And since he doesn't want to explain the references he just made he's just going to keep making weird metaphors.]

We are as steady as a brick house. As committed as Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson were to their comdey routines. She's my forever girl.

Oh, ok... [so he was kidding? Wow, Thash knew he was bad at reading social signals but it's especially hard with Dave. Well, maybe the longer he spends wth him, the better he'll get at it]

[again, he could only laugh and shake his head a bit in clueless amusement at all those names Dave kept throwing out. They must be very famous people where he's from]

Steady and committed forever huh? That's awesome... I'm jealous, heh. Commitment in a relationship is huge for me, I've found. Sometimes I feel like I expect too much, though.

[It can be difficult to tell what Dave means, even for people who've known him his entire life.]

Something like that.

[He doesn't have any idea how long their relationship will last. Most of his haven't lasted very long. Dave cares for Grell a lot more than most of the people he's dated though. He wants it to last.]

What do you expect?

Well...I guess it's more of a stubborn hope than an expectation. Honestly what I've always expected Is that I'd stay single, hahah... Not a lot of women look my way.

But what I hope for is....well.... [he scratched the back of his head, embarrassed] to marry I guess. Or 'mate for life' as some call it. To have one woman to grow old with....to be loyal to and who will be loyal to me. And, y'know....if she wants 'em, kids would be cool eventually.

...I wonder that's expecting a lot though, especially for a guy like me. I wonder if I should settle for something else...

[although he hadn't gone into detail, it almost sounded like he was currently in a position to accept something of that nature]

I hear you. Never thought I would be the type to settle down.

[Though in his case it isn't because women don't look his way. Plenty of them did, but most of them only wanted him for his fame and money. It's just one of the burdens he has to bare because he's a celebrity.]

That's a good goal and I don't think you should settle for anything else. If you know what you want then go find it. You won't be happy if you settle for anything less.

[he looked at Dave a moment, then nodded slowly] ...I guess you're right. As dumb as it is for me to pass up anything, I think I wouldn't be happy if I didn't go for that goal.

[although he looked like some concern was still on his mind]

What if um...theoretically, your goals didn't match up with your partners'? And you have a hard time making them happy while keeping to your own goal? Is there a way for that to work? Or is it just doomed to end...

It's impossible to have all the same goals as someone else because we're all different. So I don't think it's doomed. It's better to try to work things out. Maybe you can if the other person will compromise with you. Some people don't want to though.

[It's not like Dave can talk. He's never had a lasting relationship.]

It's doomed if someone gives up. You gotta have two people to make a relationship work. One can't do it alone.

[his expression turns gradually hopeful at Dave's words. Being the pessimist that he was, he hadn't been expecting to hear that...he'd been expecting to hear it was pointless to try to work through things. But with the scant experience he had in this department, he was ready to believe Dave despite the unexpectedness of what he said]

Really? Then I guess as long as both sides are willing to compromise a little, things can work...no way are we gonna give up easily.

....um, theoretically.

[pff, at this point he's fooling himself. Dave has probably picked up on the fact that he's in a relationship by now]

[Dave isn't the best at relationships, but he doesn't just give up on people. He usually sticks around long after other have given up on him, actually. He likes to believe that most relationships can work even though a lot of his haven't.]

Right. You gotta give in a little sometimes, but you shouldn't be the only one doing it 'cause that's bad. Relationships take a lot of work. They don't just happen.

[Thash's romantic life is the last thing on Dave's mind. He's pretty preoccupied with his own past and trying not to sound like an idiot.]

[He nodded thoughtfully, thinking that sounded reasonable. And he was right... already Thash had found it wasn't easy]

Yeah, guess you're right... it's worth it though, huh? You sound like you've had quite a few of them.

The thing about being a celebrity is that everyone wants to get in your pants. Sometimes it's hard to tell which ones care and which ones are just there for fortune and fame.

[And most of them were form the second group. It just happens.]

Oh... never thought about that. That's gotta suck. Well, that's a good thing about Grell I guess... she sure as heck doesn't seem like the type to care about that kinda stuff.

...Just how famous are you, anyway?

I don't think she has any idea how famous I was. Everybody knew my name. I was as big as Mel Gibson. Almost as hated too, even though I'm not a bigot.

[That gets him thinking though, because it's been different since he came here.]

Most people here don't have a clue, but maybe that's a good thing. I can go places without being mobbed, stalked, or followed by the paparazzi. I can hang out in public without bodyguards or an escort. Fuck, no one has even asked for my autograph.

I thought I would miss all that, but I don't. I just miss the people I used to care about.

Wow...sounds like kinda a hassle. Why did people hate you though? [he had no idea who Mel Gibson was of course, but by the way Dave had said he was both famous and hated kinda made him sound like an infamous criminal or something. Didn't seem likely] And yeah, I really like most of the ways that this world is different from mine...but there's only one person I miss, so it's probably harder for you if you have a lot of people at home you love.

Sometimes it's because they took my ironic sense of humor too literally. You can't take irony literally, that's not how it works. There are offensive elements in my movies because there are offensive things in our culture. I don't shy away from the word "faggot" because people use it all the time and I want them to realize it's fucking stupid. I have a token black character in my movies because everybody in Hollywood does and it's insulting. I use all kinds of degrading terms for women because society views them as sexual objects and it's wrong. If you can't take a joke don't watch my movies.

[That sure was a rant Dave didn't even intend to embark on, but now that he's started he might as well finish.]

The world I come from is fucked up, but there were people in it who were okay. I don't know. They're probably all dead now. My world wasn't a nice place to live, but it was home.

[with his own very limited cultural exposure Thash didn't understand much of what Dave was talking about, but he understood the tone of frustration, and the bit about females being viewed as objects]

Yeah, that crap pisses me off too. I got treated badly for a lot of my life... Disrespected, belittled, even bought and sold.... So it burns me to see anyone else treated that way and it seems like rude guys do that to women a lot.

[he was glad to hear Dave's views on that matched his own. He'd always felt like that might be a barrier to him being friends with other guys, but at least that wasn't the case here]

At least you knew some good people...hopefully they're not all dead. Maybe if and when you get back, not much time will have passed? Sounds like time can flow differently in different worlds from what I've heard.

[It isn't often Dave gets up on a high horse about it. Usually he just leaves his movies up to interpretation, but since they aren't here and Thash can't see them he sort of has to explain himself.]

The society I grew up in idolizes things that are really fucking stupid. Rap culture is totally degrading to women and guys talk about drug use, killing people, and how big their dicks are. Like... I love rap, but I don't love the attitude. Using music to act like you're all that and a bag of chips and everyone else is worthless is just dumb.

And I know I come off that way, like I think I'm the shit. Because I am. I'm fucking awesome, but I don't think I'm better than anyone else. A dude who's truly confident doesn't have to put other people down to know that he's cool. He just is.

[Dave gets so sidetracked that he forgets to reply to the last part of what Thash said. He's pretty sure everyone he cared about is dead anyway. It wouldn't do any good to talk about it.]

Wow...yeah, I'd probably hate that kind of music too. There was certainly music with lyrics I didn't like in my world, but I don't think I came across anything that bad...

[he nodded about the confidence comment, also letting the subject of people Dave knew drop]

Yeah, I feel ya there. I freakin' hate it when people act all elitist like they're better than everyone else. As if magical strength or good looks or status in society gives them the right to talk to others like they're trash... I can't get along with people like that at all.

It isn't all bad. Rhyming and rhythm are cool and a lot of rappers use their music to talk about things that are wrong in our society. Then there are rappers who are complete shit and use their music to make asses of themselves.

[Technically there isn't even a lot of distinction between the two. Most rappers are pretty atrocious regardless of their motives. There are rappers who are out there to express themselves and they don't care who they offend, and then there are rappers who rap specifically to offend. Big difference.]

It ain't even about that. Most of these guys just want to look big and bad because their lives have been shitty, but if you're gonna act like trash then you're gonna get treated like trash.

[He nodded] Guess there is that element of variety in any genre of music.

Hmmm. Doesn't always happen that way where I come from. It's more like if there's a rumor going around that you're trash you get treated like it. And if you're in a high position, you can act like a bag of crap and people will still love you.

That's not what I'm talking about. Sure, there are some trashy people who are still famous, lots of them in fact, but it doesn't change how awful they are. No matter how many people admire them they're still trash.

[Famous people still get away with a lot though. He isn't trying to deny that. Everyone's supposed to be equal, but in reality there's a different standard for people who have money and power. They can get out of almost anything.]

'Course it doesn't really help when your entire world is run by a homicidal alien bitch. Would've been a lot better without her.

Run by... what?? How did that happen?

Slowly and subtly. She snuck into our world, gathered power, used subliminal messages to numb the minds of the masses, and then suddenly BAM! She's Alien Empress of the Earth.

[He might have over-dramatized it a bit, but that's basically how it went.]

Dang... that sucks. People still don't realize it happened and want to fight back or what?

[voice, private to Dave Strider] backdated to July 8th

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