[written; private to Sabers]

[thethundersaid]

[Backdated to the night before May 15th.]

We need a name for the new ship.

We are not calling it Seakage.

Comments

Re: Voice

[thethundersaid]

In that case, it's not a name I like.

Re: Voice

[breaks_pots]

Why not?

Re: Voice

[thethundersaid]

I don't need a reason to dislike something.

Re: Voice

[breaks_pots]

Yes you do.

Re: Voice

[thethundersaid]

[Snappy tone gets snappier. Sasuke is not a charming kid.] Do you have a reason for everything you like and dislike?

Re: Voice

[breaks_pots]

Yes.

Re: Voice

[thethundersaid]

So explain why you like Sea Princess.

Re: Voice

[breaks_pots]

Because our ship is pretty like a princess, so it should get to be the princess of the sea!

[LOGIC]

Re: Voice

[breaks_pots]

[As an afterthought...]

And princesses are in charge of things! Our ship should be in charge of the sea!

Re: Voice

[thethundersaid]

... what about a ship is pretty? [His voice makes it clear that this logic makes no sense to him whatsoever.]

And by your second point, we might as well call it King, then, or Naruto's stupid Seakage.

Re: Voice

[breaks_pots]

But ships are girls. That's what Captain Jack said. So it should be a Princess.

Re: Voice

[thethundersaid]

Ships are ... what? Since when do ships have genders?

Re: Voice

[breaks_pots]

They always have. Captain Jack said ships were girls and the ocean was a woman.

Re: Voice

[thethundersaid]

Based on what? It's not like they have --

[And here he stops very abruptly, because he is absolutely not prepared to discuss the finer points of sex and gender with an actual kid.]

Re: Voice

[breaks_pots]

Have what?

[Oh, he's pushing it. He needs to know why ships and the ocean can't be girls.]

Re: Voice

[thethundersaid]

[Is he really going to push it? Sasuke scrambles a bit before finally coming up with:]

They're objects, not animals or people or -- plants. They can't be male or female if they're not alive.

Voice

[breaks_pots]

Then if someone dies, does that make them no longer a boy or girl? Because the Great Deku Tree died and he was still a boy.

[Try again.]

Re: Voice

[thethundersaid]

[Long, long pause, then tries --]

Okay, how did you know he was a boy when he was alive?

Re: Voice

[breaks_pots]

Because he's the father of all Kokiri.

Re: Voice

[thethundersaid]

Right, and ... what made him the father and not the mother?

[Can he lead him to the conclusion on his own? Maybe? Hopefully.]

Re: Voice

[breaks_pots]

Kokiri don't have mothers. We're born from the Great Deku Tree's seeds.

Re: Voice

[thethundersaid]

That -- [Okay, that makes it harder to explain, and is also kind of -- awkward to imagine, especially in the context of this discussion, and Sasuke isn't going to question if this isn't just a big and terrible metaphor.

And then, wait, does that mean --]

Are there no Kokiri women?

Re: Voice

[breaks_pots]

There are girls.

Re: Voice

[thethundersaid]

So -- [Help him out, here, he's really struggling to try to explain this. In tones of some desperation:]

What's the difference between boys and girls?

Re: Voice

[breaks_pots]

Boys have penises and girls don't. Girls chests are bumpy and boys aren't. Is that different for you? You aren't a Kokiri, you might be different than that. Deku Scrubs are. They don't have penises or bumpy chests.

[Does the 10 year old have to give you a lesson on sex and reproduction, Sasuke? He grew up in the middle of the woods. He understands a lot more about nature than most give him credit for.]