piratejournal

[he didn't walk far. If Smoker was speaking, Luffy was going to listen to him. He wasn't looking for anything...but he kind of was even if he didn't think he was going to find it because he wanted everything else too much. He didn't have nakama for jobs, they decided what they wanted to do and what they didn't. He had two swordsmen even at home, and more people than Sanji could cook and everyone could read old books. Now he had three people to navigate if they wanted.

He wasn't sure what it was about, really.It wasn't about the kissing thing because Luffy had been the one to get mad. So maybe something else. Maybe something deeper. The answer is simple though]

I wanted to see you.

[and then]

Why did you come?

[He doesn't know.]

[Because he's hunting for something to answer his curiosity.]

Because you asked me to.

[How does he be friends with pirates?]

[He doesn't want to. But he already is.]

[He's still mad. Mad that Straw Hat is running around asking to kiss and experiment and for what? And maybe if Smoker hadn't scared him off and constantly pushed him away so hard he wouldn't be so lost. And he's mad that the future pirate king is even lost on something like this. And he's mad that he could help, but can't, because they are who they are. And he's mad that Straw Hat is basically dismissing his own experiences, letting dumbass pirates and virtual strangers teach him instead. Is that what their friendship amounts to? And yet...]

[Smoker's most mad at himself, maybe. So much frustration. He shouldn't have bothered with any of this. He should still drop everything and run far far away--]

[But even his own justice says otherwise, and if he can't follow that, he can't follow anything.]

Are you still mad at me?

[he knew that was why Smoker had come and it made him feel good, but now Smoker knew he knew it and it was important somehow. But for the question]

Yeah. But it's not your fault.

[because what happened happened. So it was what it was and Smoker could say what he wanted because it was true]

I don't want to hurt anyone, so I'm trying to be careful.

[and saying that he'd stolen it after he'd already told Maribelle he wouldn't... it had annoyed him and he still felt it. But it was something that would go away in time]

[He flushed.]

[Damn it, it's so dumb.]

[So so so so dumb.]

I'm not--

[ARGH.]

[Jealous of a teenager's kisses. That is a new low.]

[A PIRATE TEENAGER.]

[Sinking lower.]

[FACE PALM.]

I know it was just the candy.

And that's what pisses me off!

[YUP NEVER GONNA LIVE THIS DOWN EVER.]

[Eeeeever.]

[He folds his arms across his chest, THROWS THEM UP IN THE AIR IN EXASPERATION!!!! And then folds them all over again, grumpily sitting crosslegged with his back against a tree trunk. He's mad, and flustered, and a BILLION OTHER THINGS.]

You always have to have it both ways, don't you!? It's not your fault you ran around kissing people, but apparently it's my fault for getting taken off guard, like I'm supposed to expect you to practically headbutt me. And then you decide to run around experimenting with this and ask everyone else but me, after me, and what the hell?!

What am I supposed to think about this?

I don't know what you want from me. [Smoker's not really sure what he wants from Straw Hat either to be fair though so that's a WHOLE OTHER MESS.]

And you never let me kiss you for real. I told you before I was insulted. Well, now I guess I am again. [Grinds his teeth.]

[It's so so so so so so so so so stupid.]

[He points a finger at Luffy.] Since when does the pirate king give up on anything he wants?! I went for a walk to cool my head, and apparently now anyone will do?!

[Wait.]

[... This situation is getting stupidly out of hand. No, it was from the very start.]

[Where's the rewind on this!??]

[And then finally a little quieter, and a little calmer, just exasperated, but less angry:] Why do you always have to be in such a rush? Stop acting like you have to punch the living daylights out of life, it'll still be there in the morning, you know.

[sigh. Smokey sometimes you are such a pain. Why can't you just say what it is you want? He comes up to him, pushing the hat up and keeping Smoker's gaze. He reaches up to take the cigar out of his mouth and drags him down with the other hand, tilting his head to kiss the man just like Robin and Chandra taught him. He even pulls at Smoker's lower lip between his teeth a little. Then he pulls back but takes the cigar with him]

I've stolen it and I'm not giving it back. [he holds the cigar between his teeth and looks at him steadily with his head tilted up] If you want to reclaim it you'll have to get stronger.

[and figure out what it is you want.]

[He can't handle this.]

[Flat out.]

[Can't handle it.]

[He wants to back away, but he's the one who decided to sit with his back to a tree trunk.]

[That was dumb.]

[And he should push Straw Hat back, but he can't go say things like that and then chicken out even more.]

[And it doesn't help that he doesn't know what he wants.]

[He knows he needs 100% conviction in it though or he won't be himself. He won't be able to do what he wants, and if he tries to do something with anything less than 100% conviction, it won't work.]

[He needs to not think about it so hard, but the day that happens is when Hell freezes over.]

[ACTUALLY. Come to think: didn't it, though?]

[Punk Hazard was frozen over by Aokiji, heh.]

[But distracting himself isn't the same as not thinking so hard.]

[And okay, he can think of a dozen reasons not to do this.]

[And a dozen excuses why those don't matter.]

[And fifteen more why they do matter.]

[But ALL of it, is just more over thinking.]

[Those don't matter. The reasons don't really matter.]

[The only thing that does matter is....]

[Is what?]

[IS WHAT?!]

[It's not what they are, who they are, or where they are.]

[Justice? Conviction? Desire? Passion?]

[No.]

[And that's what makes it so hard.]

[It's not even about friendship.]

[Or any of that.]

[It's just, does he want to?]

[Does he want to?]

[WELL?]

[Does he want to?]

[asdlkj3lij34lqiTJLiwDLahFVNSFGNAFLSKJR3PTLSKJDALDNSLSKDJ]

[HOW THE HELL IS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW A THING LIKE THAT?!]

[If he had his way, Straw Hat would hate him, they wouldn't be in this world, AND NONE OF THIS would be so topsy-turvy!]

[Everything is fucked sideways, upside down, inside out, and Smoker is pretty damn sure he'd feel a lot saner in Wonderland!]

Edited 2014-05-13 11:03 (UTC)

[And you know something? THAT'S why he's going to kiss him. Not because of justice, or logic, or reason, or even any normal emotions about this kind of thing!]

[No!]

[It's just because everything is messed right the fuck up!]

[He leans forward, grabs ~~StrawHat~~ Luffy's chin in one strong hand and takes out the cigars with the others.]

You're a dozen years too young to tell me that, brat.

[Acting like he knew how to handle Smoker... HAH! Who did he think he was? The future Pirate King or something?!]

[Smoker roughly closed his eyes, tilted his head the other way, and kissed Straw Hat hard.]

[The moment he thought of dodging it was too late. He tensed as his chin was grabbed and pulled a hand into a fist instinctively but this-- this was different. Smoker's mouth on his own was a lot different from the kiss the candy day or any other kiss he'd gotten yet.

And then he got it.

This was a rival's kiss. One like a Marine would give a pirate. It was so cool! He would definitely have to get stronger to learn to avoid this kind of thing in the future but. . .]

[since he was here anyway and Smoker was here, too and it was a rival's kiss about taking and taking back-- He opened his mouth and tried to lick Smoker's tongue, just to see what it felt like]

[Smoker was going to do his god damn best for the rest of his life to probably forget about all of this, but for now, he keeps his eyes shut, opens his mouth a little more right back and licks over the top of his enemy's tongue. Yup, bacon candy. And that shouldn't make him happy, that Straw Hat had clearly been eating the candy Smoker anonymously secretly found and sent the brat for his birthday, but it does. Especially since anyone else who kissed the brat now would have to deal with the smokey bacon-y taste and the knowledge that Smoker was there first.]

[Which even Smoker knows is fucked up, but fuck it. Fuck everything for that matter.]

[He drops his hand from Straw Hat's chin, moves one hand to back of Luffy's head at the bottom to hold him from squirming as much as the brat usually did, and the other gloved hand fell to the denim shorts to roughly twist Luffy around so that he was the one trapped instead. Natural order of things, pirates had to be the trapped ones, and this was a fight... of a different kind. Or something.]

[shock! He didn't expect to be licked back. His face flames a bit and it's a heat that goes everywhere so he's not really sure what to do about it. He squirms, not sure whether he wants to pull back or not and then Smokey's big hand is at the back of his head sending weird chills every which way. When he bumps against the tree he makes a startled noise and grabs at his jacket, not sure whether he wants to hold on or shove him back.

Ahh this was weird! It was so weird! He squirms, unsure and his ears blister. Then he pushes to try and get him back but bites his tongue to keep him there and squirms again, making a frustrated noise as he lifts a leg to rest it against Smoker's stomach so he can nudge him back if he needs to but isn't sure if he wants to.

This was so very weird, but his entire body felt hot like he could burn up the tree behind him]

[Smoker was going to pull away, to just leave Straw Hat in the forest like that without a word, now that he at least had proven his point, but then his tongue was bit.]

[And damn it, between the squirming and Straw Hat's sounds, it wasn't something Smoker wanted to deal with. Just another reminder that the brat was a million kinds of inexperienced and who he was and this wasn't the kind of thing Smoker needed right now or ever.]

[Smoker moved his hand up to the pirate's chest to hold him gently in place, and something at a distance from Smoker himself. He grunted quietly, and slowly shifted to smoke to pull away, but not before flicking Luffy's forehead to finish making his point.]

Brat.

[He formed back to human five feet away away from the pirate and put the cigars back in his mouth without lighting them back up yet. He shoved his hands in his pockets and started walking towards the town. Leave the damn kid wondering.... he hoped.]

[Luffy could only stare at him. That was weird. Ahh he was on fire. He felt like it! Everything was burning and it was intense and he'd liked it but he didn't like it and it was so so weird. He flicked his tongue which tasted like cigars a bit and watched Smokey go before heat went through him again and he looked away.

Ahh it was all just too weird! The restless feeling coiled up in him like a spring and he wanted to knock over a tree but instead he grabbed the hat from where it had fallen and bolted in the opposite direction, running through the forest as quick as he could to try to let the wind cool his face.

Too weird. Too weird. Way too weird.]

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