piratejournal | - 006

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- 006 - written

[Private to the Mistress crew:

Alex writes it first and then continues on with her message. It's just for her crew, just in case anyone else is awake at this hour. If not, they'll see it in the morning.]

So, if we're going to this Navy thing? I'll stay with the ship.

Probably a bad idea for me to be around that many people after dark. Just in case.

[If anyone's actually up, well.

The dhampir is in the fighting top of the foremast.]

[Not private:]

I think I'm getting used to this place. Jury's still out on whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. Definitely learned a few things from that Navy captain and all.

It's strange. The rules aren't the same here as the world I know, and sometimes I worry about that. That I'm going to forget how I'm supposed to act back home and do a lot of damage when I get back.

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I know.

[Honey had tried at first, when they took some of their friends captive, to be nice and just knock them out. But there were so many and some of them got back up so...when he'd started getting overwhelmed, Honey just ... let go.

And they started staying down.]

They took some of my friends because I didn't want to hurt them too badly and...

I just don't want to keep ... [he hesitates greatly. Like the word is poison that he doesn't want to swallow but...it's the truth.

Eventually, he spits it out. Quickly, like bile.]

killing people. Especially when they're just doing their jobs.

[It takes Alex a few minutes to reply.

Because, well, a kid can kill? She's not that surprised anymore. She's a vampire, after all. Or, at least, part. But, close enough here.

So... no. It's not impossible. She doesn't even question it.]

I'm sorry.

[Because she is. For him having to do it, for him knowing how to do it.]

I... Where I'm from, it's going to be my job to kill people. People who deserve to die, but...

It's still scary.

[Wouldn't it be horrible to know he was only a year younger than Alex instead of the ten he sounded?]

My family teaches people martial arts and stuff [Stuff being training the US Military and more in hand-to-hand. Just that stuff.]

But I was taught to respect life too. I just... I wanna go home.

[Every time he says it, Honey sounds a little less invigorated.]

Martial arts, huh?

Some of my friends were really into that.

[She thinks she's talking to a kid, after all. So her voice stays quiet and gentle.]

I think... you can respect life... but understand you have to take it. When it's to protect yourself or other people.

That's what makes it so hard!

[Honey practically shouts it, he's so wound up. Maybe it's the guilt making him shout with the pressure of it or maybe he's just...in that sort of mood - he's not exactly the quiet type.]

I want to keep my friends safe and make sure nothing bad happens to them! They can't fight! They're not good at it!

[And he shuts up right there because that was mean. More so than he felt like being.]

Not yet at least.

But killing people is just...it's wrong.

[And yet he doesn't sound that convinced about it actually being wrong. Because how could something that kept his friends safe be that bad?]

I... don't think it always is.

[She doesn't like saying it, but it's true. Way too many people kill and get away with it. Governments, military...

And here?

It's important.]

Like you said, your friends need you. We... have to kill to protect other people.

I don't have to like it though.

[He says it like he's being forced to make that choice: either enjoy murdering people and keep your friends safe, or don't and.... well, don't.]

No, you definitely don't.

[A pause and a sigh.]

Probably a really, really good thing, actually, that you don't.

I'm worried I might start to.

[Honey has a second to think about how that sounds to his ears and quickly adds on:]

Not now or anything! But...someday.

...I know what you mean.

[She's starting to enjoy the taste of blood. Starting to forget why she needs to be so careful.]

Just... stick with your friends. They'll remind you.

[While it makes Honey nervous to actually be talking about this with someone - let alone a stranger - it makes him feel better to have someone say that they understood. Whether or not it was the truth was inconsequential to him.[

You too.

[It occurs to him then that he hasn't even bothered to ask about her friends. Or if they're even there. It might be a new found comradery but there was no such thing as a new friend to Honey.]

...Are your friends here?

Not the ones I knew at home...

But I'm making new ones.

[She smiles a little as she says it, and it comes through in her voice.]

I've... met some pretty cool people here.

[He's sort of thankful for the subject change. Even if it is attached to what they were talking about.]

Oh? Like who?

Most of the people of my crew are pretty cool. I've got a good captain and three really good fighters. They've been looking out of me since I joined up with them.

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- 006 - written

audio; /just starts cycling through the five sad icons i have

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