piratejournal | - 006

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- 006 - written

[Private to the Mistress crew:

Alex writes it first and then continues on with her message. It's just for her crew, just in case anyone else is awake at this hour. If not, they'll see it in the morning.]

So, if we're going to this Navy thing? I'll stay with the ship.

Probably a bad idea for me to be around that many people after dark. Just in case.

[If anyone's actually up, well.

The dhampir is in the fighting top of the foremast.]

[Not private:]

I think I'm getting used to this place. Jury's still out on whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. Definitely learned a few things from that Navy captain and all.

It's strange. The rules aren't the same here as the world I know, and sometimes I worry about that. That I'm going to forget how I'm supposed to act back home and do a lot of damage when I get back.

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I'm staying as well. In the dark, there needs to be a good eye.

Two good eyes, then.

[Since the night is no obstacle to her vision.

Just to her sense of control, especially around large groups of assumed enemies.]

That's a plus, I suppose. Still, the issue lies in removing the crew from the party when the inevitable happens.

Can't promise how much help I'll be since I'm staying behind specifically to avoid causalities.

[But if the worst happens? Well. She can go another night basking in blood.]

Don't stress it. My rifle is going to be fine enough if it's another ship.

Oh? What did you learn?

That you can't be afraid to kill someone who wants to kill you. That there's no room for mercy sometimes.

Are you so sure?

I saw, in that fight, what happened when mercy was shown. The attacks kept coming. The only way to get us out of there alive was to kill.

[It's unfortunately too accurate. Marines, navy, even trying to remember that they aren't the same, they do the same things, so why should he differentiate them?]

[Kill or watch his family be murdered before his eyes.]

[He wants an in between the two extremes, but does it even exist?]

My father was the strongest man in our world. He had a lot of mercy and compassion for enemies. Sometimes he was even able to turn his enemies into friends.

I don't think I'll ever be that strong, however.

I'd like to think there's room for mercy, but it wasn't there in that fight. Not in the heat of battle.

I'll need it, though, later. Knowing I can actually kill like that.

Well, if it's like it was when I went home, you probably won't even remember.

Good to know. I hope I don't.

A wise choice. While I am doubtful this will remain a discrete mission given the sorts of people who have declared their intention to attend, if this can be done with more stealth that would be for the best. That might be difficult to do if too many Navy Officers were found dead.

[He had seen how tempting blood can be for her.]

We should arrange some manner of signal. If the situation does change for the worst you should be warned.

Edited (Sorry, typo!) 2014-04-24 18:34 (UTC)

[Yeah, all of that, she knew. Painfully well. But she can't argue, and giving him attitude would be stupid. He's just making sure she knows.

Still... At least the reply is written. So there's no visible cue to how much she deflates.]

That'd probably be good, yeah.

[To him this was just a simple statement of fact. The Ball would be in the evening and that would make it more difficult for her. It was better then that she was some where safe. ]

Obviously if we do not return before the evening is out take that as a sign something unforeseen has kept us away. I will try to keep a journal with me. Though I may not be able to fill you in on all that happened right away.

I believe some of the others intend to stay behind as well. I'm not sure how many but you should do well with them.

Right. If you guys end up needing me, let me know.

[Because, well, she's staying to keep the casualty count down, hopefully, but that doesn't mean she isn't willing to up it to help them out if that becomes necessary.]

I know Kiri's staying, at least.

I think Connor may be as well. If you need anything look to him.

[There is a rare vote of confidence for his son, but Haytham doesn't know the others very well. ]

Really?

[Thank goodness this isn't spoken, Alex can't help but think. Because, well. Yeah. She might have smiled at that thought. Just a bit.]

Well, the company'll be welcome.

[A good thing indeed. Otherwise Haytham might have needed to give her a curious look and wonder why all the excitement over that small bit of news.]

Have you and the others any plans?

Not that I know of. I'm hoping "keep out of trouble" is on the list.

I think that would be a good idea. I mean at least then if things were to go wrong there would be someone on the ship for either a quick escape or so we'll at least have someone escape.

Not sure how well we can sail this thing if there's only two of us or so, but, yeah, I guess there's that.

Oh, is there someone else that's staying?

Kiri, at least.

I only of two people that were going so I'm pretty sure there might be more staying, they just haven't spoken up yet.

Just don't throw your own party while we're out.

Edited 2014-04-26 01:18 (UTC)

[Well, at least Harlock's not agreeing that it's a good idea.

She knows it is, but, well. Being told that doesn't really act as a vote of confidence. Which, realistically speaking, she knows she hasn't earned.

But.]

I'll try not to.

[After the navy debacle - Honey would have to agree.]

I don't wanna get used to this place. It's bad.

[He's poor, he doesn't have his best friend or Takashi, and he's just killed more than a dozen people days ago. Honey feels like he can place the blame on this place and not himself. He doesn't like being responsible for people's lives.]

Edited 2014-04-26 23:05 (UTC)

I'm kind of torn.

I mean, I've met some cool people here, you know? And I've been able to help. But, at the same time? ...It's getting bad out there, and it doesn't look like it's stopping.

[More violence. On and on. It's like what Claudius told her is happening in the vampire world.]

I don't like hurting people like that.

[~~Liar~~. Well he doesn't want to hurt people. Or like wanting it. But he thinks he might. More than he should.]

...Sometimes they don't give you a choice. The navy here? Would kill us if we didn't kill them.

[She has to believe that. She needs to. She needs the justification.]

Are you sure?

[He honestly sounds like a child right now, so uncertain and terrified about what's happening. Honey might be used to fighting but war is an entirely different story.]

Someone on a crew we were with tried that.

They just kept coming at us. So, some of us killed them.

[It's cold, and she knows it. She hates saying it to a kid. But... That's what this world is. It's cruel. She doesn't know how to sugarcoat that, doesn't feel like it's fair to.]

I know.

[Honey had tried at first, when they took some of their friends captive, to be nice and just knock them out. But there were so many and some of them got back up so...when he'd started getting overwhelmed, Honey just ... let go.

And they started staying down.]

They took some of my friends because I didn't want to hurt them too badly and...

I just don't want to keep ... [he hesitates greatly. Like the word is poison that he doesn't want to swallow but...it's the truth.

Eventually, he spits it out. Quickly, like bile.]

killing people. Especially when they're just doing their jobs.

[It takes Alex a few minutes to reply.

Because, well, a kid can kill? She's not that surprised anymore. She's a vampire, after all. Or, at least, part. But, close enough here.

So... no. It's not impossible. She doesn't even question it.]

I'm sorry.

[Because she is. For him having to do it, for him knowing how to do it.]

I... Where I'm from, it's going to be my job to kill people. People who deserve to die, but...

It's still scary.

[Wouldn't it be horrible to know he was only a year younger than Alex instead of the ten he sounded?]

My family teaches people martial arts and stuff [Stuff being training the US Military and more in hand-to-hand. Just that stuff.]

But I was taught to respect life too. I just... I wanna go home.

[Every time he says it, Honey sounds a little less invigorated.]

Martial arts, huh?

Some of my friends were really into that.

[She thinks she's talking to a kid, after all. So her voice stays quiet and gentle.]

I think... you can respect life... but understand you have to take it. When it's to protect yourself or other people.

That's what makes it so hard!

[Honey practically shouts it, he's so wound up. Maybe it's the guilt making him shout with the pressure of it or maybe he's just...in that sort of mood - he's not exactly the quiet type.]

I want to keep my friends safe and make sure nothing bad happens to them! They can't fight! They're not good at it!

[And he shuts up right there because that was mean. More so than he felt like being.]

Not yet at least.

But killing people is just...it's wrong.

[And yet he doesn't sound that convinced about it actually being wrong. Because how could something that kept his friends safe be that bad?]

I... don't think it always is.

[She doesn't like saying it, but it's true. Way too many people kill and get away with it. Governments, military...

And here?

It's important.]

Like you said, your friends need you. We... have to kill to protect other people.

I don't have to like it though.

[He says it like he's being forced to make that choice: either enjoy murdering people and keep your friends safe, or don't and.... well, don't.]

No, you definitely don't.

[A pause and a sigh.]

Probably a really, really good thing, actually, that you don't.

I'm worried I might start to.

[Honey has a second to think about how that sounds to his ears and quickly adds on:]

Not now or anything! But...someday.

...I know what you mean.

[She's starting to enjoy the taste of blood. Starting to forget why she needs to be so careful.]

Just... stick with your friends. They'll remind you.

[While it makes Honey nervous to actually be talking about this with someone - let alone a stranger - it makes him feel better to have someone say that they understood. Whether or not it was the truth was inconsequential to him.[

You too.

[It occurs to him then that he hasn't even bothered to ask about her friends. Or if they're even there. It might be a new found comradery but there was no such thing as a new friend to Honey.]

...Are your friends here?

Not the ones I knew at home...

But I'm making new ones.

[She smiles a little as she says it, and it comes through in her voice.]

I've... met some pretty cool people here.

[He's sort of thankful for the subject change. Even if it is attached to what they were talking about.]

Oh? Like who?

Most of the people of my crew are pretty cool. I've got a good captain and three really good fighters. They've been looking out of me since I joined up with them.

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