Friends of the sea, let me tell you a story.

There once was an island in the vast, vast sea. The best way to wander the island can be found at the tops of the trees. An incredible path opened up when you climbed. The sunlight through the branches made a beautiful effect.

It was upon this island that the great and noble Sinbad did tread recently. There were pools of water all over the surface of the island. I came upon a deer as large as an elephant. I took up my sword and swung it around. Crack! I hit the tree! Swish! I swung through the leaves and the deer did not run. Curiously, it seemed to come forward towards me, big eyes pleading for mercy.

I spoke to the beast and said "Have you come here for a reason?"

But, being a beast, it didn't answer me, it just stared at me. I brandished my sword and shouted at it once more. "Did you come here for something?!"

Again, the beast said nothing. I raised the sword above my head, for I was hungry and Ja'far and I could use a nice fresh lunch. The deer made no move, it just stared at me.

[There's a pause and a dramatic sigh.]

I could not do it. I lowered the sword and put it away. After patting the deer on the head it bolted from my sight. With nothing else to do but resign myself to an empty stomach, I kneeled at the edge of the closest pond, cupped my hands and scooped fresh cool water into them. To my amazement, my hunger was immediately satisfied! I could not help but take another drink and a third.

All at once my limbs felt heavy and I decided I needed to get some rest. I dreamed dreams of vivid colours, the comforting feeling of fate watching over me and I believe I saw my future. A vast kingdom at my command. The future, this future will be realized. I awoke from my daze feeling much more at peace.

Although now that we have left the island, I miss the fresh waters that nourished me during that stop, but I must press on. A future like that won't just happen by staying on one island.

I did learn the island's name is Sweetwater, if anyone wishes to visit. A lovely, serene place where you will never find thirst and hunger again.

Oh, ye lot are still existin' are ye? Aye, I know, later'n most 'o ye have the patience for, but th' Dog is doin' somethin'. Ye could say she's messin' in forces beyond her ken and ye'd be right. But ye know next month is always th' best time fer it. It's th' time when Jones himself is close to the surface 'o the sea, they say, and if ye stare down into th' depths on moonless nights, ye can see his eyes watchin' back. It be an old sailor's tale, for if ye ever do see old Jones starin' back, ye'll know death has come fer ye an good.

News
A Naval blockade be set up around th' Island 'o Eternal Bliss ta keep 'em protected as they rebuild. As I believe it be one 'o the stops on th' race, ye sorry sons of bitches who need ta get a token there are goin' ta be in a hell of a problem-- Specially is the commander is old CrazyFace McGee and he'll blow ye out of th' water as soon as look at ye. I half hope he does.

Speakin' 'o the Navy, th' Corpse King be officially out 'o it, judgin' by his attack on Naval Base S25 near th' western current. They're in a bit 'o a mess down that way and hain't likely to look at ye lot too hard so try not ta raize th' rest 'o me world in the process. Next crew that burns an island'll face Dog's wrath and make no mistake about how hard ye'll be hit. I hain't jerkin around here.

Weather

North: Calm and clear, but mostly shrouded in mist. Also it be th' time 'o the singers. Ye'll start ta hear them about midnight but if ye go toward them, yer ship'll end up like as not smashed on th' rocks.

East: Hot'n'blustery, but wi' a good squall happenin around th' first 'o th' month and lastin' a good few days or more. Full ta th' brim wi' Carpenter Ants, so I hear. Can't really be great for cleanin' up after S25. Croodley Toodlelk has an infestation 'o 'em so bad it might take a few years ta roust em.

West: Still as hot'n'dry as ever with temperatures reachin' into th' 100s if not more. Try not ta die as that'd be a hell of a way ta go and make ye look like an ass besides.

South: Fine seas fer the most part, clear nights ta enjoy th' Southern Lights as they should be clear enough ta make out fer a few hours now. Expect storms and th' odd kraken as it be about spawnin' season and th' grandfathers'n'grandmothers be gettin' there first.


That be all from be other than yer usual asanine question fer the week.