fierybluebird: (cute phoenix)
Marco the Phoenix ([personal profile] fierybluebird) wrote in [community profile] piratejournal2014-04-11 01:28 am

[Voice & Written]

[He's going to regret this later, but there's a bunch of excitedly high-pitched chirps like a bird singing a love song.]

[That's okay. It matches the background sounds.]

[But FAR more embarrassing is the scribbles he makes into the journal:]




[So someone has a case of Spring Fever. Or maybe just a fever.]

[And then in big bold colorful levels Marco makes sure to add:]


FREE FLOWER CROWNS FOR EVERYONE WHO SIGNS UP NOW.

[Yeah. He's kind of lost it.]
booyaka_boom: (Curious Headtilt)

action

[personal profile] booyaka_boom 2014-04-13 11:31 am (UTC)(link)
Oh.

*She sits close by, pulling her knees up to her chest and admiring her new bracelet*

Oh... But it doesn't..feel good?

*Personally, she can't imagine Ikki caring much about anything*

Ace and Thatch? How come them too?
booyaka_boom: (Worried Sad Selphie)

[personal profile] booyaka_boom 2014-04-13 12:21 pm (UTC)(link)
*At first, Selphie immediately understands. After all, if she were without fighting, she's not really sure what she'd have left. Back home, peace means no place to belong to. But as Marco continues, she has to try harder to understand, to try to empathise too, to feel what he's feeling. He's right, in this place, life is everywhere. Even as a human she can really sense the feel of the place, and it's very peaceful, and full of living things.

She moves ever so slightly closer to Marco. She wants to hold him close and let him cry if that's what he needs to do. But if there's anything she's learned in recent months it's that the phoenix is a complicated creature, and she's terrified she might do something to make Marco hate her. As it is, she still struggles with how much Ikki does. So she doesn't hug him, but she moves close, and places a hand warmly on his arm, just listening carefully, her wide eyes showing her concern*

Marco...why don't we get you back on the ship? Take you away from this?

*If peace for Marco is getting away, then she wants him to be as far removed from the island as possible. She nods when he mentions Leanne, and she's not going to whisper a word*
booyaka_boom: (Worried Sad Selphie)

[personal profile] booyaka_boom 2014-04-13 12:49 pm (UTC)(link)
*When he hugs her, she's glad, and more than happy to hold him as close as she can. Selphie isn't very sure of what to say, and less sure of what she can do, so perhaps hugging for now will have to be enough. But then he starts talking about her enjoying it, about smiling, and it proves to be all too much for her.

Selphie thinks of these past few months, of what she went through at the hands of that witch, dying and loathing herself in a cell, returning only to find that the person she though loved her was disgusted by her, and she knows that no one has ever hated her as hard as Ikki has. Months of just trying not to be miserable, trying not to hate herself. So he's right, this place has offered her the most peace she has had in a long time.

She nods her head, agreeing that she should maybe just use this opportunity to be happy, but she's choking up herself, and her eyes are glazed with tears. It's only when he pokes at her nose that she finds herself smile, but the threat of crying is still there*

Oh-okay. Just...come find me if you need another hug.

*It's pretty lame, and she knows that, but it's all she can think to say right then, wondering if knowing things about phoenixes is something she is ready for or not. But that can wait, her main concern is that Marco isn't so terrified, or so lost, in this island*
booyaka_boom: (Curious Headtilt)

[personal profile] booyaka_boom 2014-04-13 02:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh! No! It's good crying! I think. It's so good...to know that there's someone who cares, who actually notices when I'm happy.

*She gives a wobbly smile, but there's obvious truth in what she said*

And you're not dragging me down. I'm just..sorry that I can't do more for you..

*Selphie takes a small breath before giving him a quick cuddle, smiling a bit more when he ruffles her hair*

I'm okay.
booyaka_boom: (Default)

[personal profile] booyaka_boom 2014-04-14 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
*Selphie rests her head against Marco for a moment before sitting up, looking at him with a big smile*

I know you're hating this place right now, so it's so sweet of you to look out for me.

If it helps...I notice you too!
booyaka_boom: (Huh?)

[personal profile] booyaka_boom 2014-04-15 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
*This seems to be a recurring problem that she has with phoenixes - thinking she's helping when she's only making it worse. Still, she blinks and falters at mention of Ikki, her voice dropping slightly*

What Ikki thinks about me... that doesn't matter now.

*Besides, maybe the less she knew about that, the better*
booyaka_boom: (Sad Selphie)

[personal profile] booyaka_boom 2014-04-15 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
*She takes a shaky breath as she looks at him directly, honest, but sad*

I have never felt so hated, so repulsive, so worthless in my life. The way he spoke to me... How he...looked at me... He's shared enough.
booyaka_boom: (Worried Sad Selphie)

[personal profile] booyaka_boom 2014-04-15 08:20 am (UTC)(link)
*Marco did have a way of getting through to Selphie, and in all these long talks with him things really started to make sense. It was communicating to Ikki that she understood that was the difficult part. She did understand this, and while not on a level that a phoenix migh, she thought she understood pretty well*

It just..isn't enough to understand. Every time I told Ikki that I understood he refused to believe me. I can't - There's no way I could really ever fully understand but...

*She trails off and closes her eyes. After all, it was Ikki that caused all her hurt and her newfound self-loathing. Marco didn't need to see all that pain in her eyes, so it was best she keeps them shut, trying not to let any tears escape onto her eyelashes*

I tried Marco. I tried so hard. I was patient, I gave him time and space, I reasoned with him, I tried to explain and show him how much I..how much I felt for him. But it was never enough. Anything I said or did, to him, it just showed how little I cared, how little I was trying to understand.

But I do, Marco. I understand as best I can. But it's not enough for him. Not enough, or maybe it is my fault. Maybe I was doing it wrong, maybe I'm not good enough. Whatever it is, it's broken, and I've accepted that.

I just...

*Here she does open her eyes, and they're shining with tears, pleading with Marco this time to understand*

I'm only human, Marco. I can't handle hurt like this.
booyaka_boom: (Worried Sad Selphie)

[personal profile] booyaka_boom 2014-04-15 09:32 am (UTC)(link)
*So much of this felt like her fault, in some ways, that she finds it difficult to really believe Marco. But he keeps repeating it, so perhaps she should start to think more about how that might be true. She seems utterly bewildered, however, when he makes a fist of her hand, and suggests that Ikki needs a telling sometimes. Perhaps there's even a flicker of fear there*

Marco...With this girl, I think you should try it. The difference is... You're not angry like he is.

*Even if there is a lot of anger in Marco, he doesn't manifest it in the same way that Ikki does. Ikki's whole being radiates some kind of anger*

I couldn't take it. I wasn't strong enough...to face the anger, Marco. The anger.

*Her voice gets wobbly here, and she does her best not to ruin her flower braclet, so her fingers start to worry at the blue leather bracelet on her other wrist*

When I think about being with Ikki... So much of it was anger. All the times he yelled at me, shouted at me, told me when I was wrong, demanding of me. And maybe he was only trying to protect me but Marco... It's too hard, all that anger. Even our best times, the times I really felt that he loved me, where surrounded somehow with anger.

*Selphie hangs her head, her shoulders tense. As much as she feels the need to explain this to Marco, she knows it will sound horrible. Hence why she still hasn't spoken to anyone about how she really feels about all of this*

There were...times when I was scared of what to say, what to do, always on eggshells in case he got angry. I wanted so much for him to just...love me, appreciate me, to like having me around. I couldn't, not ever, dream of calling him out for anything, because I hated how I felt when he was so angry at me...

*There's no laughter at the end, and she's sorry for that. She keeps her head bowed, refusing to look at Marco, because she knows how close to tears she is and she doesn't want to make the situation any worse*

It's - it's finished now. Maybe one day...we'll be friends. But my heart - it just can't take it.
booyaka_boom: (Worried Sad Selphie)

[personal profile] booyaka_boom 2014-04-15 12:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Usually...the people you trust are people that you know care... People that you know have your best interests at heart. I don't know if I can say that Ikki thinks that way anymore. So... I just don't know...

But that's the difference - this girl you were talking about, the one you like. You wouldn't constantly be showing her that anger. Even if you felt it, you wouldn't direct it at her every day, letting her know how badly she disappoints you...

*She struggles, after that, to think of what to say. There's any number of emotions going through her right now, and muddled up and confusing. She looks up when Marco says that Ikki has control of his temper, and that seems to sting. If the way Ikki treated her was controlled, then what he really must have been thinking of feeling must have been tenfold*

If you'd told me all this two months ago... Maybe it would be different. But looks like I did it all wrong. And there's nothing I can do about that now.

*Because what Marco has said does make sense - she can see now how maybe she hurt Ikki when she hadn't expected to. No wonder he was the way he was with her. No wonder things had happened as they did. Though Marco said it wasn't her fault, he was telling her now that she could have dealt with things differently, in a way that might have even meant that she and Ikki would still be together. She takes a deep breath and draws herself up to stand, shakily*

It's better that I do nothing, now. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't strong enough. That's all.

*Selphie glances back towards the forest, blinking her wet eyes, and longing to get lost in the trees, to be given a peace of mind, where she doesn't have to hate herself for what she's done to Ikki. Where before Selphie might have blamed Ikki, how he treated her, her conversation with Marco has made her realise, despite what he says, that this is precisely her fault*
booyaka_boom: (Default)

[personal profile] booyaka_boom 2014-04-16 09:09 am (UTC)(link)
*Selphie glances up at Marco only briefly, taking his hand but bowing her head and watching their feet as they walk along. She's aware that they're walking into the forest, where Marco probably doesn't even want to be. But she squeezes his hand and nods her head gently - she did her best, at least that can be said of her*

I just...want everyone to be happy.

*Maybe it's a ridiculous statement, but it's true of how Selphie feels about everyone. And being so disliked, or feeling so hated, is difficult for her. But she looks back up to Marco with a warm smile, both Marco and the peace of the forest helping her feel more at rest*

Mhm. I promise. And I know it's weird for you here, but I hope it's...not as horrible as it could be. Somehow.

*That maybe doesn't make much sense either, but she doesn't feel as though she can ask him to enjoy himself here*

...thank you, Marco.

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[personal profile] booyaka_boom - 2014-04-16 09:30 (UTC) - Expand